Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

Real men don't join the Masons - only the narrow-horizon, local councillor types who only think in terms of boosting their status as big fish in small ponds. As for Tories being big on fruity behaviour, I give you Steven Milligan MP, what accidentally strangled himself with a pair of tights whilst w...

Well mate, I was a hand-stuffer and I'm now a Labour Voter who lives nowhere near Clapham Common and I certainly wouldn't cruise around it at night looking for gay action if I did - so a fat lot of use I'd be as a Tory MP or Tory Lord. As for being a Mason, one leaves that kind of thing to grammar s...

I wonder if Gene Simmons overheard kids calling each other 'Jews' whilst at CH? Can't imagine he'd have been very impressed, being of four-by-twoish descent himself. And it'd have been damnably hard to explain it all away to him. 'A harmless tradition'? 'Not at all racist'? Sounds more like 'one rul...

Just a thought Jack, I see you have moved to London, just which library are you in on a Saturday? Lewisham Library, missus. Lots of toerags like me go in there and amazingly I've never been asked to leave for being scruffy and unshaven. Get sick of kids messing around in there on a Saturday, though...

Getting a bollocking, getting blown up, call it what you will. My only contact with Mr Peto was when he once saw me stepping on the threadbare corner of a Quad lawn and unleashed hell in my direction. So my only memory of him is as a Nasty Shouting Man. My introduction to Roger Martin was being boll...

Nice to see myself getting a name-check on this here thread, but I have to disappoint you. I'm neither the Spoonbill nor the Poop-Eating Dog. I'm the authentic Dirty Old Jack. As for the thread, I personally find the idea of an Old Blue living just down the road from CH a bit sad, unless the person'...

I dimly remember Bott, though he was considerably younger than myself and not in the same house. He came in for quite a lot of flak because of his Germanic name, though not German himself as I recall. (It was still too close to the war for people not to make an issue of it, I'm afraid.) I think he w...

Now that Rock School is out of the way, the question seems to be What Next?

I thought I'd just float the following idea for a new show.

PREMISE: David Sullivan is invited to Christ's Hospital and put in charge of 10 teenagers for 6 weeks.

Porn School, anyone?

bathrooms, I know we women spend a long time in there but taking a bath, I don't think so I regularly take baths in toilet-pans. It's an occupational perk if you're semi-homeless. PS: When I was a kiddie I went to another kid's birthday party and his mum kicked off proceedings by announcing that 'I...

I'm told that the skool is now anally security-conscious. What I'm wondering is, are all the doors of each house still left unlocked all night as in days of yore?

Or is everything battened down to keep out an imagined army of burglars, perverts, serial killers and suicide bombers?

Spoonbill said - Peele B housemaster Tom Keeley once told me that when he was a teenager, he was just as skinny as I was. When did he say that to you? Keeley was like Northern England's answer to a Sumo wrestler in my day, so I find the idea of him as a skellington pretty far fetched. He was famous...

I haven't been back for an Old Blue's Day since the early 1980s and don't fancy the idea. But if I die anytime soon, I'd definitely go back to the next one as a ghost just to see how everyone's changed physically. It's a constant source of surprise to me the different speed/different manner in which...

Interested (mildly) to know that you've met several people named Ruck - the surname's a bit unusual. I've never met anyone with the name outside my immediate family, although I am aware of a few others. All 3 of the Rucks I've met had body-mass problems: one was well chubby and the other two were c...

Fancy getting it on with me, girl?

You were known as 'Rubber Fcuk' by the time I woke up to your existence, but I was told you were formerly known as 'Rubber Duck' - which was a pleasantly non-obvious nickname I thought. I've met several people named Ruck since leaving school and they were all called 'Fcuk' at school, which has a cer...