'K.O' and Crushes at Hertford

A Dirty Old Jack · Post by **A Dirty Old Jack** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 10:42 am

Reverting to the original subject of this thread. Can any female person here comment on what exactly is going on in the head of a schoolgirl who has a bona fide crush on another schoolgirl?

That's to say, is it admiration (of character, appearance, perceived cool or whatever)? Is it a form of physical desire? Or a desire to be acknowledged oneself and therefore somehow validated? Is it a form of 'falling in love' (that's to say, were you well and truly smitten, so you found it hard to think of anyone/anything else?)? Or did you actually want to BE the girl you had the crush on (like Madonna's fans in the 80s consisted of blokes who fancied her and girls who wanted to BE her)?

Or is it naive to look for any kind of a clear-cut explanation for the state of mind of a teenage girl in 'crush' mode?

DavebytheSea · Post by **DavebytheSea** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 10:55 am

WOW!

That's a bit of a challenge Jack! It might need a psychologist (and a female one at that) to know the answer to that one. I doubt that any schoolgirl in crush mode is entirely clear herself! I wonder whatever the girls on this forum will say about that one - if anything!

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 11:07 am

Blimey !

DOJ surfaces again after a long absence and well and truly throws the cat (official school issue), amongst the pigeons.

I thought same sex crushes were all part of growing up ? It, surely, is a form of hero worship ? The school athletic champion etc. etc.

A Dirty Old Jack · Post by **A Dirty Old Jack** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 11:22 am

True, people like to say/pretend that everyone goes through a homesexual phase during their teens (to a greater or lesser extent) - but I can't honestly say I ever did. And as for having a secret crush on athletic types, I thought they were a bunch of idiots. (Imagine ploughing all that effort and energy into something as laughably inconsequential as sport).

Maybe my homesexual phase is still in the pipeline......but I sodding well hope not. Human beings smell and their heads are full of rubbish....and male human beings smell even worse than female ones....

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 11:37 am

A Dirty Old Jack wrote:True, people like to say/pretend that everyone goes through a homesexual phase during their teens (to a greater or lesser extent) - but I can't honestly say I ever did. And as for having a secret crush on athletic types, I thought they were a bunch of idiots. (Imagine ploughing all that effort and energy into something as laughably inconsequential as sport).

Maybe my homesexual phase is still in the pipeline......but I sodding well hope not. Human beings smell and their heads are full of rubbish....and male human beings smell even worse than female ones....

Metaphorically speaking ????????

UserRequestedRemoval · Sat Sep 16, 2006 12:00 pm

I don't remember ever hero worshipping any athlete at CH but I do remember the hero worship all of us in the 1st XI Hockey team received when Clive Kemp asked us to help train the junior boys. They used to point us out to their friends and some of them even followed us around the school! There was nothing sexual about it, it was just a natural thing I suppose.

I am not sure everyone has a homosexual phase in their teens, it is rather, a period of sexual curiosity. It could just be a phase where the brain is trying to make sense of all the chemical signals it is receiving at that point in a person's development.

Sermon of the day endeth.

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 1:19 pm

I think you are all right.

From my gay friends I understand that they know from a very young age that they are 'different'.

I understand this happens even to those who have married, had children etc then suddenly run off in their 30's or 40's with a same sex partner.

I didn't ever have a 'crush' at school but I did get one on one of my nurse tutors when I was about 23, very strange, I was married etc.etc. she was having a tough time and I just wanted to make her smile.

midget · Post by **midget** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 3:51 pm

I think part of it is not wanting to seem 'different'--if all around you are having crushes on someone senior (I never heard of it operating the other way round) then you feel you have to as well.

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 3:59 pm

midget wrote:I think part of it is not wanting to seem 'different'--if all around you are having crushes on someone senior (I never heard of it operating the other way round) then you feel you have to as well.

I absolutely agree.

UserRequestedRemoval · Sat Sep 16, 2006 4:49 pm

I feel for the gay community in their 40's and above because they had to live in a very hostile world, many of them also tried to live the hetero of spouse and children, only to be even more unhappy. I know the gay community still has problems but at least they can openly live with and marry each other now, they dont have to live in the closet.

Jude · Post by **Jude** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 9:28 pm

sejintenej wrote:
Jude wrote:aw how sweet!!

Just about all the men I have met have been bar-stewards...... I can count on 1 hand the decent ones!
How do you type if you have no hands?

it's amazing what one can do with their toes.....

UserRequestedRemoval · Sat Sep 16, 2006 9:37 pm

Really Jude? do tell!

Jude · Post by **Jude** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 9:44 pm

soc wrote:Really Jude? do tell!

my daughter and I have "pre-hensile" toes - they are longer than norm (hence the probs with CH hand me down shoes!) and we can pick up things with them - I used to be able to write my name quite well - I doubt if I could now... but they are good when you are on a boat as you get your "sea legs" very quickly..........

Mrs C. · Post by **Mrs C.** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 9:50 pm

I wonder what DBTS will say ?!

UserRequestedRemoval · Sat Sep 16, 2006 10:03 pm

Now that could be a real fun party piece Jude