Would you send a child of yours to CH?

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Would you send a child of yours to CH?

Of course
16
44%
Only now it's changed
5
14%
Only if it was the same as when I was there
5
14%
No way
10
28%
 
Total votes: 36

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Deb GP
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Post by Deb GP » Thu Mar 03, 2005 12:46 pm

Isn't it a bit self righteous to assume that people who "send away" their kids are unfit parents? I know my relationship with my olds was better for having not been at home with my parents for more than two weeks at one go since the age of 13.

As for being "sent", firstly the alternative schools were rather inadequate and secondly I'd read too many Enid Blyton books not to want to try the adventure of boarding school for myself.

Roots are where you put them and let them grow. It's a mindset - not a place IMO. Now that I'm married, I don't see my "roots" at my parents house anymore - especially as they've moved from my childhood home. Yeah - there's a fondness and all that, but I can't get nostalgic about it.
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Post by palgsm93 » Thu Mar 03, 2005 12:48 pm

TA wrote:remember in the late sixties early seventies CH was a fairly barbaric place. I still fail to read one viable arguement for sending children away. The " I had a good time " arguement is not viable.
One example: Lots of my friends loved theatre techy stuff - having a theatre at CH and being able to spend the evening in there was a great opportunity for them. They had brillaint portfolios which got them places in Guildhall, LAMDA etc.

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ben ashton
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Post by ben ashton » Thu Mar 03, 2005 12:48 pm

do kids still read Enid Blyton these days?!
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Post by TA » Thu Mar 03, 2005 12:54 pm

I must admit that I never saw any parents gushing tears when they left children at the school. Remember this was the 60/70's. Perhaps it was not allowed in that epoch. However I do remember seeing a load of desperately unhappy small boys working out on scraps of paper how many days hours minutes seconds it was to the first leave day. (six weeks into the term)
And how horrible that day was when one realised just how short a time one had with one's parents.
Is being able to visit a theatre in the evening a viable arguement for sending children to the school ?

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Post by palgsm93 » Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:05 pm

TA wrote:Is being able to visit a theatre in the evening a viable arguement for sending children to the school ?
Yes. Allowing kids to fulfill their dreams make it worth it!

But, I understand what you're saying - in the 60s/70s it must have been very hard for people - I've read all the stories! It has changed now...

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jtaylor
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Post by jtaylor » Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:05 pm

What's free at CH, that you'd pay for if you were at a day school??

1. Music lessons - choir and 'cello in my case.
2. Sports - squash, swimming, rugby - imagine paying subs for those, or a per-play fee? I played squash couple of times a week, swimming at least once a week, and rugby most days (or so it felt!)
3. Non-sporting activities - can't remember them all, but woodwork, rifle shooting, art etc. etc.
4. School uniform.
5. Trips to London, post-GCSE program.
6. Cycling club
7. Food.
8. Clothes washing
...loads more..

These are just a few of the financial benefits, and I wouldn't for one minute suggest that this is a reason to "send" a child to boarding school.....but can a hard-up parent really fund all this stuff and provide such a diverse range of activites etc. to give an equivalent to the CH boarding school?

I think a lot of people take what they received at CH for granted.....
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Great Plum
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Post by Great Plum » Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:07 pm

Deb GP wrote:Isn't it a bit self righteous to assume that people who "send away" their kids are unfit parents? I know my relationship with my olds was better for having not been at home with my parents for more than two weeks at one go since the age of 13.

As for being "sent", firstly the alternative schools were rather inadequate and secondly I'd read too many Enid Blyton books not to want to try the adventure of boarding school for myself.

Roots are where you put them and let them grow. It's a mindset - not a place IMO. Now that I'm married, I don't see my "roots" at my parents house anymore - especially as they've moved from my childhood home. Yeah - there's a fondness and all that, but I can't get nostalgic about it.
It's wierd for me because I was a non-foundationer so I was never really 'sent away'....

However, most parents these days do not send their kids to CH because they are useless parents - they do it becuase they care... look at the opportunities at CH compared to an inner city comp....
Maine B - 1992-95 Maine A 1995-99

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Post by TA » Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:13 pm

As long as the parents are sure that child wants to go to the school, that emotionally will manage etc etc. then perhaps it's ok. However it is difficult for any parent to be sure.
I was never asked if I wanted to go there. But I did realise that my prep school could brag about it. I do realise how proud my parents were. But I also remeber the feeling of utter joy in July 75 when I passed through the gates for the last time. Suddenly I felt that I had a life and that it started now.
I would like to line up the headmaster and teachers who used me as whipping post ( literally) to relieve themselves of the frustration of not being able to talk to children and instead just beating them.

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Post by TA » Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:17 pm

jtaylor wrote:What's free at CH, that you'd pay for if you were at a day school??

1. Music lessons - choir and 'cello in my case.
2. Sports - squash, swimming, rugby - imagine paying subs for those, or a per-play fee? I played squash couple of times a week, swimming at least once a week, and rugby most days (or so it felt!)
3. Non-sporting activities - can't remember them all, but woodwork, rifle shooting, art etc. etc.
4. School uniform.
5. Trips to London, post-GCSE program.
6. Cycling club
7. Food.
8. Clothes washing
...loads more..

These are just a few of the financial benefits, and I wouldn't for one minute suggest that this is a reason to "send" a child to boarding school.....but can a hard-up parent really fund all this stuff and provide such a diverse range of activites etc. to give an equivalent to the CH boarding school?

I think a lot of people take what they received at CH for granted.....
Oh I shall always take for granted the beatings and thrashing from sadistic teachers.
But what do these free activities cost the child in the long run ?

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jtaylor
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Post by jtaylor » Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:35 pm

I guess the key thing is that the school has changed a lot in the past xx years....it's always moving on etc. etc.

We should all consider the school as it is now, before we consider "sending" our kids there...

Whilst I received the slipper once for swearing in front of the housemaster whilst at CH, I don't regret that at all as I knew the consequences, and it did keep me in line. Compare to today's kids, where they know they can get away with murder etc. etc.

I guess being slippered was nothing compared to what it sounds like you had to put up with.

There must be a different decision to take, depending on the current school...I doubt I'd let my kids go to the school that you describe, but wouldn't hesitate to let them go to the school as it was in my day - would need to understand what the current rules/punishments etc. are now before taking the decision today.......
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Post by Hendrik » Thu Mar 03, 2005 3:55 pm

WHOA WHOA WHOA, GUYS!
bullshIt flying high from both sides :shock: (as well as much excellent discussion :D )

like J, i also got scholarships to two other independent schools. but chose CH. my parents let me, but would have rather i'd have gone to one closer to home (Bedford or Bedford Modern).
resources/oppurtunity etc unparallelled (well..). and yes most people do take them forgranted. it happens more the longer you've been at the school.

Julian - agree with everything said, but the whole 'youth of today getting away with murder' sh1t. you don't honestly believe that do you? youth will be youth, arrogance will be arrogance( :oops: ). but the youth of today are so much more progressive than anyone could have hoped for. in my mothers day (so she tells me), people didn't know the first thing about politics or the way the world worked until uni, at least. now you get kids who still smoke pot and play on skate-ramps, but also have really in-depth discussions about the problems of post-9/11 USA! in their early teens! kids in this century have incredibly ecclectic taste in many things. how many of you kids that grew up in the 80s/90s got into good music in your early teens? they don't listen to current/chart/teenybopper sh1t anymore, now you get young kids running around listening to amazing bands that died before they were born! led zeppelin etc
this is all because the society that spawned them is becoming more tolerant, not inspite of it. and with any hope if we stick to our guns (so by not sticking to guns :? ), the generation after that will be even more progressive.
rather than making assumptions about them, try talking to them. i believe TA has already mentioned what happens when adults feel they cannot talk to children...

TA - i'm not doubting that CH was a sh1t in those days. if you ever do find those ******** who abused you, i will join you in beating the sh1t out of them. however, CH has moved on. maybe not enough, maybe too much. but it is better.

CHAVs are a totally different matter, and yes they do get away with murder.

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Great Plum
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Post by Great Plum » Thu Mar 03, 2005 4:29 pm

Hendrik - I was well known for my eclectic music tastes at CH - Genesis anyone?
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ben ashton
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Post by ben ashton » Thu Mar 03, 2005 6:21 pm

Happy hardcore anyone?
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DavebytheSea
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"Sending" my child to CH

Post by DavebytheSea » Thu Mar 03, 2005 7:32 pm

Well, I'm actually doing it!

I am sorry if I am boring you with my repeated postings about Jonathan, but it was his decision to try for Christ's Hospital which he has visited on several occasions ever since birth (his father is an ardent ambassador though his in depth knowledge - covering the late 40s and early 50s - is now somewhat out of date!). Although, Jonathan attended an Open Day at the school when he was 10, he decided then that he would miss his home and family too much. Now he is older, he is beginning to assert his independence and however much he still adores his family, this gorgeous village and his endless mucking about in boats, he understands just how isolated his life really is. Understandably he wants to be able to have a more outward looking social life - I hope and believe that CH will be able to give him that.

My one worry is a financial one. He could have been more inexpensively taught at another Public School with a scholarship to boot. As it is, we will find it very hard to meet the "contributions" which the school will demand from us and this will impact upon him in other ways. His determination to get to Housey may have won him a place, but will cost us very dear.

As for being a bad parent, well I suppose I am really. As a young father I set out knowing exactly how children should be brought up, but now, four children later, I am fully conscious of my many mistakes! Of one thing I am certain and that is we can only do for our children what we think is best at the time. If this proves to be a mistake - and it all too often does! - then we simply have to put it behind us and hope that our child has been sufficiently imbued with tolerance and understanding to forgive our failings as parents.
David Eastburn (Prep B and Mid A 1947-55)

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Post by englishangel » Sat Mar 05, 2005 8:34 am

I was at Herttford so we didn't have corporal punishment but there was a fair bit of psychological abuse. I do remember one girl who attempted suicide it was so bad.

Hendrik, you make me laugh, each generation thinks they know more about something (usually sex) than the previous one, in your case it is politics. We had an informed debate about the 6 day war and Vietnam was also pretty high on the agenda. We also all walked about with flowers in our hair (1966) and we had a gardener who smoked pot who gave it to more than one of my contemporaries. (One even lost her virginity to him!)

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