call for limericks

[DavebytheSea]

10/10 Richard!

[J.R.]

I see Richard found his way home from The Bax, then !!

[DavebytheSea]

Woops! How sorry I am to have erred
(You too JR, you old bird)
We were so full of praise
For Richards essays
That no rhymes in our lines were interred!

And so JR, you too must tender your apology in verse

[Richard Ruck]

I see Richard found his way home from The Bax, then !!

If only I could get there.

I'm having a REALLY boring day preparing sales figures for the record labels we distribute.

[Richard Ruck]

10/10 Richard!

Thanks!

Who said good verse died with Patience Strong, eh?

[DavebytheSea]

Ah Richard! Alas! you old rake
You also have made the mistake
Of writing in prose
On this thread, where it goes
In verse only your comments to make.

[Richard Ruck]

Oh b*gger, you're right Dave, it's true
My manners have gone up the flue,
From now I must write
All my versified sh*te
In a way that befits an Old Blue

[DavebytheSea]

Apologies elegant here
You've written while working, I fear.
But alas you are stuck
With business, Ruck,
When you'd much rather go have a beer.

But Richard, much better I've found,
Than watching your records go round,
Is to quickly make tracks
Straight down to the Bax
And get someone to buy you a round.

[Richard Ruck]

Well, yes, if I wasn't stuck here
I would happily go for a beer,
With a pocket of cash
From my drinking-fund stash
Up the old railway line I would veer

But the landlord would cry out, I fear,
"You're a customer, you can't come here,
It's time for my lunch
So I'm off for a munch,
I really don't want to sell beer".

[J.R.]

So Richard has been in a Ruck.
He's really is down on his luck.
He's working in sales,
instead of drinking fine ales,
And really couldn't give a monkeys what anybody thinks about it.

and I bet you thought the last line was going to be rude !!!

[Richard Ruck]

So Richard has been in a Ruck.
He's really is down on his luck.
He's working in sales,
instead of drinking fine ales,
And really couldn't give a monkeys what anybody thinks about it.

and I bet you thought the last line was going to be rude !!!

Not at all, John.

It's not the first time that someone has rhymed "monkeys what anybody thinks about it" with "Ruck".....

[DavebytheSea]

You've done it again and got stuck.
For a rhyme, you seem out of luck.
You can't do that here
Richard, really I fear.
Just verses, no prose, Richard Ruck.

[Richard Ruck]

Oh, not again! What was I thinking?
My brain's getting older, and shrinking,
Although I have read
Through the rules of this thread
My Muse was off somewhere else, drinking.

[huntertitus]

There once was a very fine poor school
Which one could mistake for a borstal
If it's girls that were wanted
We were usually pointed
To the ladies of good Highsham Wh*reschool

[Richard Ruck]

There came to Christ's Hospital School
A man named Gene Simmons, no fool,
"Over four thousand chicks
Testify to the tricks
I perform with my much-vaunted tool".

But here, Gene, your class are too young
To be awed by the length of your tongue,
And they think it quite wrong
That you boast of the long
List of women who know how you're hung

Gene answers "It's been my good luck
And the lure of the mighty green buck,
I’ve a face like an arse
But it still comes to pass
That I never go short of a full evening's entertainment".

Julian - if you're there......

Something has been messing up the text - any ideas?