Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

One of my contemporaries (1950s) liked singing (and presumably composing) funny versions of pop songs of the day. (After getting a scholarship to Cambridge in a humanities subject he finally became an IT guy - what wasted talent!) They were very popular and here are two examples.

• Daddy wouldn’t buy me a bow-wow
  Daddy wouldn’t buy me a bow-wow
  He bought a little cat
  I’m very fond of that
  But I’d rather have a bow-wow-wow

• Daddy wouldn’t buy me a py-thon
  Daddy wouldn’t buy me a py-thon
  He bought a boa-constrictor
  I personally picked her
  But I’d rather have a py-py-thon

• Show me the way to go home
  I’m tired and I want to go to bed
  I had a little drink about an hour ago
  And it’s gone right to my head
  Everywhere I roam
  Over land or sea or foam
  You will always hear me singing this song
  Show me the way to go home

• Indicate the way to my abode
  I’m fatigued and I want to retire
  I had a little beverage about 60 minutes ago
  And it’s gone right to my cerebellum
  Wherever I perambulate
  Over land or sea or atmospheric vapour
  You will always hear me chanting this melody
  Indicate the way to my abode

Praise the Lord for our Foundation.
Praise him for our Kestos bra;
all done up with pink elastic ..................................

A note of explanation
In the late 50's early 60's all underwear was provided by the school, including bras. The famous Kestos bra (bear with me chaps!) did not have a conventional hook and eye fastening. Instead it had two small buttons at the front of the bra, one under each breast. It also had two long pieces of elastic which wrapped around from the back to fasten at the front on the buttons. Hardly supportive, but very comfortable.
However - it was our custom and practice to get dressed under our school issue nighties. Sometimes, if a little sleepy, it was possible to lose your grip on the elastic whilst bringing it round to the front. The elastic would then ricochet around and twang on our tender skin.
These bras were phased out in favour of more conventional styles in around 1960.

Fascinating (bras and Hertford) and surely nowhere else can such things be learned. Here are a couple items from ‘The Outlook’ and inspired by Ogden Nash’s poems. I cannot remember their authors. The second was composed at a time just after the introduction of chlorophyll-containing toothpastes, accompanied by a vast amount of advertising declaring they were effective against bad breath and that’s not true at all.

I gave him cyanide,
He gave a sigh and died.

The goat that reeks on yonder hill
Hath browsed all day on chlorophyll.

Something which I remember to this day about 40 years after the event is Rex Sweeney saying The Gondoliers have gone delirious.

If we’re talking about funny poems with CH connections, what about part of an “Entertainment” for the school in 1919, the headmaster Rev AW Upcott’s last year? It featured a recitation by Miss Upcott of her humourous contribution to Punch. Can anyone find it? (Other delights offered at that Entertainment were an Organ Solo, Songs [including 'The Village Blacksmith' and 2 Irish songs], 2 Viola solos and the headmaster reading a chapter from ‘Pickwick Papers’. Then finally there was a play, “Creatures of Impulse” by WS Gilbert.) In my days we were never entertained in that way, alas! More details are in The Blue of March 1919, page 79.

Kestos bra.
Purely (!) in the name of historical research, and as I had never heard of it, I traced this mysterious device and found it explained and illustrated (!!) at http://www.dollhousebettie.com/index.ph ... n&show=180
David

Oh I remember those pink Hertford bras well. Also how the Ward mistresses inspected youngsters to see how soon they needed one...!

Angela Pratt wrote:Oh I remember those pink Hertford bras well. Also how the Ward mistresses inspected youngsters to see how soon they needed one...!

The mind boggles !!

Foureyes wrote:Kestos bra.
Purely (!) in the name of historical research, and as I had never heard of it, I traced this mysterious device and found it explained and illustrated (!!) at http://www.dollhousebettie.com/index.ph ... n&show=180

Thanks, David for remedying part of my deficient education with this website – fascinating. (Or should I have been a structural engineer to understand such things, for didn’t Howard Hughes, the reclusive billionaire, engage such an engineer to design a bra for his lady friend - Jane Russell, I think it was?)
But I still don’t understand it all. What are the trolley band and darts? Also the buttons mentioned are invisible in the illustrations; what was their function? So can an enlightened lady reader (or an engineer, of any gender) explain these mysteries?

Angela Pratt wrote:Oh I remember those pink Hertford bras well. Also how the Ward mistresses inspected youngsters to see how soon they needed one...!

The coming of age of Hertford girls seems to have been gentle and supportive (pun intended) by the action of the Ward mistresses. In contrast the boys had a traumatic and abrupt entry to adulthood. The first “wet dream” was not supported by kind mistresses. But then boys at Horsham were not coddled.

The well known one I remember was sung to the tune of the "HMS Pinafore" number "Never mind the why and wherefore".
Never mind the why and wherefore I am Mr. Sills and therefore you will learn a Psalm and say it in my study after tea.
Psalm learning was a punishment unique to him I believe. I don't know what length Psalm he chose. I doubt it was 117 (2 verses) or 119 (176 verses)the last of which perhaps appropriately is " I have gone astray like a lost sheep, seek thy servant".
Was there not a song about Arthur Rider also which was mentioned in a much earlier thread ?

[quote

The coming of age of Hertford girls seems to have been gentle and supportive (pun intended) by the action of the Ward mistresses.[/quote]

What??? The Housemistresses were a strange variety of weird women who probably had nowhere else to go, and no other way of earning a living. Maybe the most dreadful memories are of girls in 5's; Miss Screen and her sanitary towels hoarding obsession. Although we remember DR's Tampax talk as a hilarious example of anatomical ignorance.

Sorry....

Angela Woodford wrote:[quote

The coming of age of Hertford girls seems to have been gentle and supportive (pun intended) by the action of the Ward mistresses.

What??? The Housemistresses were a strange variety of weird women who probably had nowhere else to go, and no other way of earning a living. Maybe the most dreadful memories are of girls in 5's; Miss Screen and her sanitary towels hoarding obsession. Although we remember DR's Tampax talk as a hilarious example of anatomical ignorance.

Sorry....[/quote]


What you are really implying Angela, is that NONE of them would ever have graduated to the realms of Motherhood, which leads me to add that in that case, they should NEVER have been put in a position of power over pubescent girls in a boarding school !

J.R. wrote:

What you are really implying Angela, is that NONE of them would ever have graduated to the realms of Motherhood, which leads me to add that in that case, they should NEVER have been put in a position of power over pubescent girls in a boarding school !

I fear a similar argument could be made for some of the housemasters at Horsham.

LongGone wrote:

J.R. wrote:

What you are really implying Angela, is that NONE of them would ever have graduated to the realms of Motherhood, which leads me to add that in that case, they should NEVER have been put in a position of power over pubescent girls in a boarding school !

I fear a similar argument could be made for some of the housemasters at Horsham.

I suppose that is quite possible, though I have to say I never heard of such.

There were only 6 Houses at CH with married accommodation out of 16 for many years although since remedied with additional
building. This presumably affected the restriction of appointment mainly to bachelors. Was this deliberate policy ?