A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

This section was setup in August 2018 in order to move the existing related discussions from other sections into this new section to group them together, and separate from the other CH-related topics.

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graham
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by graham »

It's been a few years since my last post -- I've been lurking every since -- but this thread made me want to pitch in with a comment. While I agree it's interesting to see how former staff are reacting to these revelations as they unfold, I strongly suspect (Richard has all but confirmed) there are more accusations to come and this makes their presence somewhat of a double edged sword.

I can recall an incident in which a former teacher, who has been fondly remembered elsewhere on this forum, asked me if I was ticklish and then proceeded to try to tickle me during an afternoon sports session. He stopped when I started yelling for help and a friend appeared. I thought nothing too sinister of it at the time other than that he was just incredibly odd, and it never happened again though I suppose I stayed away from him subsequently. In light of recent events I told my wife about this, who pointed that, yeah, that was inappropriate and quite possibly an attempt at something more sinister.

I guess my point here is that while many of us can name teachers from our time at CH whose influence had profound positive effects on our subsequent lives (I certainly can), I'm increasingly aware that many of those same teachers may have had profoundly negative impacts on some of our fellow students. I don't for one minute intend to do any of the proverbial tarring, but I think that current/ former staff on here would do well to respect that an increasingly large number of former students are going to be questioning events that occurred during their time at CH and fora like this (thank you, Julian) are one of the few places that they can come to put things in perspective. I hope that, bearing this in mind, those former staff can hold back from judging us too much and respect that their own search for answers may need to take a back seat to those who suffered first hand.
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by richardb »

Tonight has shown that the investigation is not closed and may well provide yet further encouragement.

What you describe Graham is classic: let's see how far I can get ....

Innocent play is often the pre cursor to something more sinister.
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by wurzel »

THIS IS NOT A DEFENCE

Please remember the world was a different place in the 80's. When Webb was persuaded to leave the school, it was not a secret why. It made the daily Express with a headline of "Goodbye Mr Chips".

Nothing the guilt parties did was excusable or deserving of a cover up BUT we have to remember other teachers at the time were in a different safeguarding environment to today. Fleming for example may be seen today as an old statesman of th e school but he didnt join until i did in 81 and his wife started later when the girls joined. They had at eh time very young children and I really do not think if things had been as obvious and in your face as it seems in retrospect that they would have covered them up
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by wagenman »

wurzel wrote: Tue Jul 17, 2018 12:22 am THIS IS NOT A DEFENCE

Please remember the world was a different place in the 80's. When Webb was persuaded to leave the school, it was not a secret why. It made the daily Express with a headline of "Goodbye Mr Chips".

Nothing the guilt parties did was excusable or deserving of a cover up BUT we have to remember other teachers at the time were in a different safeguarding environment to today. Fleming for example may be seen today as an old statesman of th e school but he didnt join until i did in 81 and his wife started later when the girls joined. They had at eh time very young children and I really do not think if things had been as obvious and in your face as it seems in retrospect that they would have covered them up
Ian, It was a pupil who phoned the paper and gave them the story, that's how secret it was.

A different safeguarding environment is right. Outside of formal school activities it was essentially kids managing kids and the pastoral staff barely got involved. From age 10 I could, and did, pretty much disappear for entire days and nobody ever batted an eyelid. I think as far as a lot of teachers were concerned the houses pretty much ran themselves and staff saw their pastoral responsibilities as a way to top up their money rather than actual responsibilities.
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by richardb »

Quite right.

The kids got each other through.
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by fivesmaster »

Graham,
It's great to hear from you on here. Regarding your incident, I specifically remember this to this day, as we were good friends at the time, you were very concerned. You came back one afternoon/evening and explained to me what had happened and how anxious you were about it. I also remember from that point on you made a point of staying away from the said teacher. I feel bad as I know in my mind I shrugged it off, I guess not wanting to think the worst of anyone, but inside me I knew there was something amiss.


Hindsight is gutting sometimes, as I do feel I could have done more to help with this, but alas, being the boys we were, we really did not know who to turn to.

Hope all is well
Sincerely
Ben
Last edited by fivesmaster on Tue Jul 17, 2018 6:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.
wagenman
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by wagenman »

richardb wrote: Tue Jul 17, 2018 8:49 am The kids got each other through.
Hmmm, this isn't a view I'd necessarily agree with Richard. There were some nasty pieces of work amongst the pupils as well. In my view this isn't a case of pupils good - teachers bad. The point I'm making is that there was a general lack of pastoral oversight at the school when I was there (although it got better when the girls arrived). I started at CH in the early 80's and my grandfather, who attended between the wars, stated that very little if anything had changed. So if you take that to be true, the school in the 80's was actually run with a 30's ethos.

I'd be surprised if this is actually a CH specific issue as well. I'd imagine a lot of boarding schools were run along similar lines. I fully expect similar revelations from other schools.
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by jtaylor »

fivesmaster wrote: Tue Jul 17, 2018 9:05 am Graham,
It's great to hear from you on here. Regarding your incident, I specifically remember this to this day, as we were good friends at the time, you were very concerned. You came back one afternoon/evening and explained to me what had happened and how anxious you were about it. I also remember from that point on you made a point of staying away from the said teacher. I feel bad as I know in my mind I shrugged it off, I guess not wanting to think the worst of anyone, but inside me I knew there was something amiss.


Hindsight is gutting sometimes, as I do feel I could have done more to help with this, but alas, being the boys we were, we really did not know who to turn to.

Hope all is well
Sincerely
Ben
I would suggest that this incident is not discussed further here, but that (if you feel able and prepared to) it is reported to the police.
As I understand it, they’re keen to hear about all incidents that made anyone feel uncomfortable, as that can help form a picture...
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by richardb »

Julian is right.

The police want as much background evidence as possible so as to paint the fullest picture and give the proper context.
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by richardb »

To put a bit more background on the day of sentence, I have now worked out that the older woman who attended as a supporter of Husband is his first wife who was a matron at the school.

Educated guess is that he stayed with her during the trial.
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by J.R. »

richardb wrote: Fri Jul 27, 2018 10:15 am To put a bit more background on the day of sentence, I have now worked out that the older woman who attended as a supporter of Husband is his first wife who was a matron at the school.

Educated guess is that he stayed with her during the trial.
Which in itself I find strange given her husbands departure from CH and later family life.
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by richardb »

And the circumstances in which the marriage came to an end.
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by J.R. »

So not lets criticise the innocent parties in this ghastly affair, but admire their family support.

I'd still like to identify the blonde note taker at Hove but maybe that's asking too much.
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by richardb »

That was Husband's daughter.
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Re: A day by the seaside (aka Husband's folly)

Post by DazedandConfused »

richardb wrote: Fri Jul 27, 2018 3:41 pm That was Husband's daughter.
She has been very vocal in her defence of him on Facebook, although I can’t blame her for that. I have no idea how I would react if it were my father convicted, whether I would ever believe in his guilt.
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