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Re: When We were Very Young

Posted: Tue May 03, 2016 8:48 pm
by sejintenej
rockfreak wrote: he believes that many of us construct a "strategic survival personality" right from the start because we don't want to be "the one that blubs", "the one that is homesick", "the one that can't take it", even though, in fact, we may all be feeling miserable. The need to be one of the group kicks in very early.
or because we know that there is nowhere else to go

Re: When We were Very Young

Posted: Wed May 04, 2016 11:55 am
by J.R.
I totally agree with 'Freaky' !

Once you eventually forge friendships and form part of a clique, things get better and better.

The first year in Prep B was unbearable for me, then became more bearable.

By the time I reached my final year in Coleridge B, I was already 6 foot tall and considered an un-safe bet by anyone who still possessed bullying tendancies.

Re: When We were Very Young

Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 12:38 am
by Straz
This is a wonderful thread that my wife and I have been thoroughly enjoying.
It's especially appropriate since one of our most recent books at bedtime has been 'Jennings Goes to School' - the very first of the lengthy series of prep school tales by Anthony Buckeridge.
In the book, Jennings and Darbishire write their first letters home.
They have to write on postcards, issued to them by 'old Wilkie' (aka Mr Wilkinson).
Having written his parents' address in very large capitals on the card, Darbishire finds there's only room to write: 'My dearest Mother and Father, I hope you are quite...'
Understandably Old Wilkie is less than amused.
Jennings's effort is somewhat lengthier, although his spelling and grammar need work, while his thought processes are dubious.
"Dear Mother, I gave mine in to Mr cater. Darbsher has spend 4d of his my healthser ticket was in my pocket he said I had got bubnik plag it was a jok he is called Benny Dick toe I think it is. We had ozard of wiz for tea Atkinson says wiz is good and oz is garstly so do I. Love John.
P.S. Temple is a brain, he is short for dogs boody.'

Pass the crug, flab and muck, and some kiff please...

Re: When We were Very Young

Posted: Fri May 06, 2016 9:59 pm
by rockfreak
Nick Duffell (again) has some points to make about public school literature from Tom Brown onwards. He makes the point that school is always seen as a jolly jape, a kind of endurance test, a massive board game perhaps in which we have to negotiate from square to square, avoiding draconian obstacles and punishments, a bit like the Caucus Race in Alice. But he questions why no-one appears to have asked whether this board game is actually good for our youngsters. What is the psychological effect in later life? To their dying day my parents inferred that they didn't know whether going to CH had been good for me or not without filling me in on the details. Years later I was told by some close to me that they found me emotionally contained and hard to know. I know (as I've related in a thread above) that I learned survival and the ability to internalise everything pretty quickly in the Prep house in 1952, aged nine. Did this follow me into later life?
Nick Duffell says that co-ed schools are better and so is later entry to these institutions. But I look at the You Tube footage of the CH houses marching into lunch and the youngest still look very young to me. Nick's attitude is that modern boarding schools may have wonderful facilities, carpets, radiators, phones home, better pastoral care, etc, etc, but he says "what youngsters cannot do is love". In other words, they are taken away at a stroke from the unconditional love of their family. If this system works, why is it that no other country in developed Europe has it? And if you want to look at the truly gruesome products of the system, then look no further than the Tory front bench.

Re: When We were Very Young

Posted: Sat May 07, 2016 10:53 am
by J.R.
Two very interesting posts immediately above, Freaky. I can relate to both.

One thing many many friends have pointed out to me in the past years is that they find that I don't show emotion and that they find it impossible to 'read' me at most times.

At first, I disagreed, but in hindsight, this is probably true. Hiding ones feelings and emotions was probably the very first thing I learnt to do in Horsham from 1958 onwards. It has served me well during my life. For better or wose, I have still yet to decide !