First Day.....Last Day

Share your memories and stories from your days at school, and find out the truth behind the rumours....Remember the teachers and pupils, tell us who you remember and why...

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sejintenej
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by sejintenej » Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:48 pm

michael scuffil wrote:Seaman said to one friend of mine (he's on the right of the photo at
viewtopic.php?f=18&t=2649)

If you leave now, I'm prepared to give you a not altogether frank testimonial.

That I suppose is "being bribed to leave".

Philip: I liked your piece.
The one on the right is wearing a tie and you note elsewhere that the future SG is wearing a tie. Surely the two don't tie in?
It is hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

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Jude
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by Jude » Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:32 pm

gingerbeard wrote:
Jude wrote:
You were ASKED to LEAVE??????????????????????????????? OMG... WHAT did you do (other than smoke)???
A long story Jude,

cut short

I had spent a large amount of the Michaelmas term in the infirmary, with visits to psychiatrists and psychologists, without being given a diagnosis, but taking quite a few pills. I was then sent back to my house to continue as if nothing had happened. Some masters seemed to be wary of me and gave me latitude but things were just about the same. I reduced my workload to two A levels and spent the last few weeks of that and the first few weeks of the Easter term missing more and more periods.

About two weeks before half term I went to Tom Keeley and announced that I was going to leave at the end of term... to which he replied, why wait that long? I was going to ask you to leave at half term....

Very civilised...
Wow - aghast - I was sent to Harley Street by my father ( a not very nice man to say the least) as I apparently was mentally unstable - when we arrived I was asked to go into a room and talk to this doddery old man - I sat there - silent (was told never speak until you are spoken too) so when he finally asked me why I was there I answered " I don';t know - you had better ask him - he brought me here" it was a frank statement - I had no idea why - perhaps it was all in my vile fathers manner to make me seem totally mental so no one would believe me when I finally ratted on him - but the mistake he made was to make me wear my school uniform during the holidays to London...

I had to go again from School - the Doctor, matron and the head all had no idea why I was going, for what or that I actually needed to go - but one of the nurses took me - in home clothes we had a nice ride in a taxi, I saw a different person, and I never went back again... to this day I am terrified of physchiatrists - but I have just had 2 years of psychotherapy to help me get through the problems my father created and a few of the CH ones as well - she was really nice and I was able to trust her eventually...took 2 years - and could have gone on for longer - but 2 years is all the NHS will pay for.

I hope you are mentally better - I am on anti-depressants - probably will be now for the rest of my life - but I guess how I feel (currently rather down) I might be a lot worse without them..
Jude Comber (nee Kelynack) 5's 5.38 1975-1980 Herts.
To Learn - read, to Know - write, to MASTER - Teach

sejintenej
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by sejintenej » Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:46 am

Jude wrote: to this day I am terrified of physchiatrists - but I have just had 2 years of psychotherapy to help me get through the problems my father created and a few of the CH ones as well - she was really nice and I was able to trust her eventually...took 2 years - and could have gone on for longer - but 2 years is all the NHS will pay for.
I started off (probably) OK but my employers sent me on a one week residential course which happened to be run by theosophists. It was supposed to be about improving communication skills - ensuring that the listener did not misunderstand what you are trying to say and the like so it should have been plain sailing. No one-on-one - we were in groups of (from memory) eight but for short periods had to work in pairs.

I ended up that week a doddering wreck - so much so that one of the instructors came to the office in London to try to put the bits together again (and was no help at all - his advice made me even worse). It took me months to get straight and after that I don't want any involvemnent with mind twisters again.
It is hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

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gingerbeard
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by gingerbeard » Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:33 am

Jude wrote: Wow - aghast - I was sent to Harley Street by my father ( a not very nice man to say the least) as I apparently was mentally unstable - when we arrived I was asked to go into a room and talk to this doddery old man - I sat there - silent (was told never speak until you are spoken too) so when he finally asked me why I was there I answered " I don';t know - you had better ask him - he brought me here" it was a frank statement - I had no idea why - perhaps it was all in my vile fathers manner to make me seem totally mental so no one would believe me when I finally ratted on him - but the mistake he made was to make me wear my school uniform during the holidays to London...

I had to go again from School - the Doctor, matron and the head all had no idea why I was going, for what or that I actually needed to go - but one of the nurses took me - in home clothes we had a nice ride in a taxi, I saw a different person, and I never went back again... to this day I am terrified of physchiatrists - but I have just had 2 years of psychotherapy to help me get through the problems my father created and a few of the CH ones as well - she was really nice and I was able to trust her eventually...took 2 years - and could have gone on for longer - but 2 years is all the NHS will pay for.

I hope you are mentally better - I am on anti-depressants - probably will be now for the rest of my life - but I guess how I feel (currently rather down) I might be a lot worse without them..
That was incredibly brave Jude, sharing experiences like that can be very scarey, thank you.

I wonder if you were kept in the dark as much as I was, at 17 and sent off by the School to Harley Street and the Tavistock Centre I had no rights, I was told nothing. At least if someone at School had discussed the prognosis with me, rather than just behaving differently towards me, I might have been able to cope better with my problems later in life.

Hopefully you won't have to stay on anti-depressants forever.... I have periods of time when I need them, but can cope the majority of the time, I have to put on my "happy mask" at times, but that is coping too.

Take care :)

Looking back, with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, I was asked to leave for having mental health problems, there were certainly boys that exhibited far worse behaviour than me, I don't think that they could cope with someone who with mental health problems that could no longer be swept under the carpet.

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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by michael scuffil » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:39 am

sejintenej wrote: The one on the right is wearing a tie and you note elsewhere that the future SG is wearing a tie. Surely the two don't tie in?
The future SG is on the left. He's tied up too.
Th.B. 27 1955-63

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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by englishangel » Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:07 am

michael scuffil wrote:
sejintenej wrote: The one on the right is wearing a tie and you note elsewhere that the future SG is wearing a tie. Surely the two don't tie in?
The future SG is on the left. He's tied up too.
Kinky :tonqe:
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Jude
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by Jude » Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:19 am

I guess I am glad that we had normal (if you can call multi coloured ties representing each house! normal) ties, at least those I was able to do without pins!! The entire outfit of the boys I feel must be dreadfully heavy after wearing "civvies" all I remember for Housey with DS was that he hated the trousers as they itched terribly! And we thought our uniform weird!!!

Some girls managed to "take" certain items with them on their last day - I was too honest (and scared) to do such - but I would have taken the wonderful Harris Tweed Long winter coats we had - I bet it would still be useful today!.. Has anyone else "appropriate" items from school from their last day - I did get my CHOGA badge!!
Jude Comber (nee Kelynack) 5's 5.38 1975-1980 Herts.
To Learn - read, to Know - write, to MASTER - Teach

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MKM
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by MKM » Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:17 pm

I wanted to "take" an Ashbourne hat, but Alex wouldn't let me (not that I bear a grudge).
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by Vonny » Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:16 pm

I took my Tweed but no longer have it - I can't remember what happened to it to be honest.

I also took my Broadie plus loads of buttons that I accumulated over the years :lol: And I still have my CH sweatshirt - we had to buy these if we wanted one.
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by michael scuffil » Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:43 pm

Sydney "Lord of the Dance" Carter is said to have taken his Grecian's coat. If it was his best, it was quite a theft. (If it was his everyday one, it was hardly worth taking, I imagine. Frayed cuffs were/are quite a problem.)
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by kerrensimmonds » Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:46 pm

Those who left Hertford for Horsham might just as well have taken anything they wanted, because those uniforms weren't going to be needed again. (I wonder what happened to all the uniforms? I know they sold new and unworn Chapel Caps at the Auction, but can't imagine that they sold on anything which had been worn.....). So, Vonny, there can't have been too much of a problem in your taking the coat home! I wonder who else took what else - whether for sentimental or sartorial reasons?
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sejintenej
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by sejintenej » Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:16 pm

Jude wrote:I guess I am glad that we had normal (if you can call multi coloured ties representing each house! normal) ties, at least those I was able to do without pins!! The entire outfit of the boys I feel must be dreadfully heavy after wearing "civvies" all I remember for Housey with DS was that he hated the trousers as they itched terribly! And we thought our uniform weird!!!
The school never taught us how to tie an ordinary tie let alone a bow tie. So much for equipping us to go out and face the world!

Boy's uniform: the shirt was pretty standard cloth, no collar and with a short slit down the front and no buttons. Short sleeved
Breeches: to below the knee, buttoned on either knee but that was purely show since the material was sewn closed. Buttoned fly (as was normal in those days). Strong material but the weight of perhaps a pair of jeans now. Belt or braces, usually belt
Stockings - thick wool held up with elastic garters under the legs of the breeches.
Shoes - strong black leather, a bit lighter than my present Isolas (chunky leather mountain climbing boots) which I use almost day in day out
Coat - well, mine weighed in at 22 lbs which is about 10kg when I left. We simply got used to it.

Remember that the weight was straight down on our shoulders through a straight spine and legs to the soles of our feet so it was not a problem. It is the same principle as carrying a rucksack of 80% of your body weight (more if you are in the military!) - getting it up there is a problem but once it is there it is well balanced
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by Jude » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:31 pm

I wish now that I had gone to the Auction - pity I was still in a bit of a fury over CH - if I could have anything now....hmm Cherry Red; Harris Tweed; I think that probably sums it up!!! Oh dear!! I do remember that if you were muscular or had "breasts" then the Sunday straight blue "bag" look dreadful - I had to have one several sizes bigger than normal as my shoulders were muscular from swimming, and I had boobs... :-( :( :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: it barely touched the sides as it dropped from the shoulders!
Jude Comber (nee Kelynack) 5's 5.38 1975-1980 Herts.
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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by Mid A 15 » Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:15 am

First Day - Monday 20th September 1965.

My parents, myself and a large black wooden trunk travelled to CH from Shooter's Hill in my late grandfather's Ford Anglia. We arrived roundabout 2:30 in the afternoon and assembled outside the Maine A Dayroom. The "squits" were then taken (without parents) by a monitor (John Lloyd) to the wardrobe for kitting out.

It was at this point I can remember feeling very apprehensive. John Lloyd was very good and tried to put us at his ease by asking us where we were from, whether we liked football and if we did which team did we support? I can remember my surprise at his supporting Bristol Rovers when he had earlier mentioned that his father was headmaster of Gallions Mount, a school not far from where I lived. Mind you not many people (other than me!) admitted to supporting Charlton Athletic the local team! Strange the peculiar things that stay in one's memory.

We then returned to Maine A and were introduced to our nursemaids. Mine was Jonathan Wansey and I had tremendous difficulty with my "bands." It was then time to say goodbye to my parents and I can remember feeling a sense of hopelessness and sadness. I stood waving as the car disappeared out of sight trying desperately not to cry as I didn't want to get a reputation for being a soft Jessie.

That first night was long and sleepless although saying that I remember waking up thinking I was indoors and realising that I wasn't and crying to myself.

Things did get better......

Last Day

I don't remember anything like as much detail as on the first day. I can remember saying goodbye to various friends in other houses and indulging in the odd clandestine alcoholic beverage along the way. I was never a smoker. Smoking killed the dearly loved grandfather referred to above and that has always stayed with me.

It didn't properly hit me that I was leaving until I was standing in Chapel waiting to receive my Bible and Prayer book from Newsome. I did begin to feel emotional at that point and even more so watching the Beating of The Retreat, something I had always enjoyed. It hit me that I was watching it for the last time and the bugler playing the Last Post caused a bit of gravel or dust to land in my eye.
Ma A, Mid A 65 -72

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Re: First Day.....Last Day

Post by White Flag » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:42 am

Wuppertal wrote:In the cases where being "asked to leave" is because of the poor disclipline of a pupil, I believe that the difference between being asked to leave and being expelled is that when you are asked to leave, you are given the chance to go and find a new school, and if you oblige you won't have to have it on your record that you were expelled; whereas being expelled obviously goes onto your record.

But there was someone in my boarding house who was (according to everyone I spoke to, though I never asked him myself) asked to leave, and he said no. In the end he resolved whatever issues he had and carried on, leaving at the end of his Grecians like everyone else and doing well for himself.
I was not expelled and I was not asked to leave..it was more an idea that was suggested by the school or my parents during the easter holidays. So I spent the whole of the summer term in pure bliss knowing that the "agony" was about to end. It became apparent that I was not suited to being away from home and that the school could not cope with the likes of me. I too was sent to Harley Street and asked what the problem was...saying that one wanted to be at home was not the proper answer. Telling the other pupils where I had been that day was a huge mistake as well.
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