Wooden legs

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 2:00 pm

Jude wrote:
englishangel wrote:I think nowadays it is sometimes difficult to tell if someone has a lower limb prosthesis. There is even a paratrooper with two. Lady McCartney has one, well several for different occasions I understand.

As a nurse, when you prepare someone for an operation you have to remove all prostheses, "false teeth, glass eyes, wooden legs" just about covers it.

I have been surprised several times by legs being handed to me.

Very few false teeth nowadays, the odd bridge from rugby players.

Glass eyes are my nightmare. I have only fainted once, when a glass eye was plopped into my hand after asking a patient if he had any "false teeth, glass eyes......etc". Most embarrassing.

Mary LOL!!!! While i was nursing i had 2 main chores that no one else wanted..

shaving men's faces
and inserting or removing contact lenses!

RR I did once use a cut blade, but it was usually done with the patients own stuff, although I can't say I didn't enjoy the fluffing up of the lather to put on their faces.... refused to do any other places. and these days - not even contact lenses!

I have shaved men (and once a woman-very long story) but I have NEVER taken out contact lenses. An A&E job I suppose.

I wore lenses myself for years with no problems but have never done anyone elses

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 2:59 am

I see the tree jokes have dropped off.

All threatened with the BIRCH, were we ?

bap · Post by **bap** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 11:48 am

Irish accent: "Yes sor - dere were only tree fellers left in the forum"

Richard Ruck · Post by **Richard Ruck** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 11:51 am

Blimey, haven't heard that one for fir-cone ages!

Mid A 15 · Post by **Mid A 15** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 1:29 pm

so who's at the hELM with the tree jokes?

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 1:31 pm

Mid A 15 wrote:so who's at the hELM with the tree jokes?

Grease my PALM with silver, and I'll tell yer !

bap · Post by **bap** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 1:39 pm

Congratulations JR - an absolute CORKer. Didn't I read elsewhere that YEW used to be a WOODEN top? Special BRANCH?

Mrs C. · Post by **Mrs C.** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 1:46 pm

That one has to take FIRst prize!

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Sat Jan 28, 2006 11:22 am

I've spent so much time re-reading this thread, I must empty my SILVER ASHtray !

Richard Ruck · Post by **Richard Ruck** » Sat Jan 28, 2006 12:31 pm

Too much repetition going on!

Round and round the mulberry bush........

darthmaul · Post by **darthmaul** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 3:12 pm

Good grief!!!

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 3:16 pm

darthmaul wrote:Good grief!!!

You are obviously the only mature tree (sorry, person) on here.

Perhaps we should leaf (sic) it here!

Katharine · Post by **Katharine** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 5:44 pm

englishangel wrote:
darthmaul wrote:Good grief!!!
You are obviously the only mature tree (sorry, person) on here.

Perhaps we should leaf (sic) it here!

You do know don't you that a single f is pronounced v in Welsh?

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:36 pm

And a midwife can be male or female as it is From the old English 'mit wif' meaning 'with woman'.

I have just thought of something really rude to do with bushes, but I won't post it here, I might upset Luke.

Richard Ruck · Post by **Richard Ruck** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 12:02 pm

englishangel wrote:And a midwife can be male or female as it is From the old English 'mit wif' meaning 'with woman'.

I have just thought of something really rude to do with bushes, but I won't post it here, I might upset Luke.

Quite! We don't want to start a discussion about privet parts, do we?