Some advice needed please!

[Richard Ruck]

I have a serious request (for once!).

One of our oldest friends is a single mother whose son, aged 13, seems to be falling behind at school (a local comp.), particularly in English, where, for whatever reason, he does not get on with his teacher. He has started to become disruptive and to be excluded from classes.

The boy no longer sees (and probably doesn't remember) his natural father, and his mother separated from her subsequent partner a couple of years ago, although the boy still sees him regularly and regards him as a father-figure. This separation resulted in mother and son living in one room in a hostel for around 18 months until the council managed to re-house them.

So, our friend is naturally worried that her son is not developing the English language skills which he will soon come to need, and does not seem to think that this is likely to be remedied by his school.

Although she herself is an avid reader she did not receive a particularly good grounding in the use of English at her own school, and has asked me if I would be willing to help, as she is not in a position to pay for private tuition to help him to catch up.

My problem is that I don't feel particularly qualified to do this, as I'm not a teacher and I don't have any particular affinity with children.

I could, I suppose, help him with his written English, vocabulary, grammar, comprehension, etc., and encourage him with whatever literature he is supposed to be studying at school (although my approach to this might well clash with that of his own teachers).

Throughout my own education I have learnt that familiarising oneself with the structure of a language was an essential step towards mastering the subject, but I really have no idea whether this is still the approach taken in most schools.

I would really like do something to help if I can, though, so any thoughts and advice would be most gratefully received.

Thanks.

[marty]

Richard

My suggestion would be to ask him what his interests are. The worse thing you can do to someone of that age is force them to read something they have no affinity with (in my case this was Shakespeare). If he says football, music, computer games or whatever then try getting a couple of magazines on those subjects and then offer to read through them with him (obviously you'll have to use your own discretion if he claims his only interest is porn!) As long he's interested in the subject matter you may have a chance. Even better if you can find something you're both interested in - that way you'll have some common ground.

Please keep us posted as to how you get on.

[Mid A 15]

I can only speak as a father of 3 not as a teacher.

Firstly try and speak "proper" in the home using proper vocabulary etc. Children seem to assimilate an amazing amount through conversation in my experience almost without you as a parent realising it. My daughters often refer back to dimly remembered (by me) conversations from years ago.

Secondly try and get him to practice writing sentences, stories etc by homing in on something that interests him. If for example he likes football you could ask him to write a short piece on who his favourite player/ team is and why. You could then attempt to help him with any glaring errors.

It sounds like it needs to be done without the lad being aware he is "working" at it which is why I suggest homing in on things that interest him.

Finally keep him away as far as possible from txt spk (c u l8r and such nonsense) as that just encourages lazy, sloppy thinking.

Hope this is of some help!

[Richard Ruck]

Thanks, guys.

Yes, things which he already finds interesting would be a good place to start.

In the distant past, when I was a language assistant in France, I used to use songs by groups like the Jam, Clash, Stiff Little Fingers as texts (all the kids were into music), and even the script of 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'. This sort of stuff always kept their attention and provoked discussion.

Think I'd need to update the music a bit, though!

Shakespeare? I know what you mean. The same thing happened to me with Thomas Hardy and Jane Austen - I could never stand either of them.

I think (although this isn't my field at all) that behavioural problems can arise from people becoming frustrated by their inability to express themselves adequately in a variety of situations, and that this is the first problem which needs to be addressed here.

To be honest, I don't know the boy particularly well, as his mum often comes to see us as a sort of escape from her day-to-day life, and the lad goes to stay for a day or two with her previous partner. Will this be a help or a hindrance?

[Mid A 15]

To be honest, I don't know the boy particularly well, as his mum often comes to see us as a sort of escape from her day-to-day life, and the lad goes to stay for a day or two with her previous partner. Will this be a help or a hindrance?

Probably a help in that he will have no preconceived ideas about you.

Your first task will be to establish a rapport with the boy through extensive conversation. You will also be able to get a feel for his vocabulary (lack of), (in)ability to construct sentences etc which will help you establish a level at which to start.

I wish you all the best with it. Your experience in a previous life as a language assistant will probably prove very useful to you.

[BTaylor]

If he's got any interest in music you're quids in.

[Mrs C.]

Sounds to me to be a typical teenage cry for attention.
I agree with all the previous suggestions - find out what his interests are - hopefully you might share similar.
One or 2 further suggestions might be :

Write a letter to the local paper about something that concerns him - whether it be lack of facilities for his age group, or the sex shop opening in your road!!
Does his school have a school newspaper/magazine? Perhaps you could help him write an article for it?
Does he like e.g. (dare i say it??!!) Harry Potter? Both of you read the same book/magazine and talk about it afterwards.
If he`s into games (not just computer games) try some word based games - loads can be played on computer too.
If he`s got some close friends, you might be able to inspire them to do some sort of group project as above. It doesn`t matter if YOU don`t think it an irrelevent topic, as long as HE can feel a bit of self-worth in it.
The computer lends itself to all sorts of creativity.

Might be worth taking a look at the KS3 workbooks in the bookshops to get an idea of the sort of thing he`ll be doing - presumably its those exams that his mother has in mind when you refer to the skills he`ll soon be needing.

Don`t know if any of that`s any use......

[Richard Ruck]

Thanks Janet.

The letter to the newspaper sounds like a good idea - unfortunately the sex shop has been put on hold, so it'll have to be about something else!

I had thought about a few of us reading the same book - I suppose his mum and my wife could read it too, so we could talk about it and involve him in an 'adult' way. Maybe........

And please excuse my total ignorance, but what is a KS3 workbook?

[Mid A 15]

Following on from Mrs C's suggestion re Key Stage 3.

Try this link.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/ks3bitesiz ... ssonplans/

[Mrs C.]

Key Stage 3 is the set of exams that they take in year 9 - maths and english. You`ll find loads of workbooks - which give lots of practice in the skills needed.

[Mrs C.]

Following on from Mrs C's suggestion re Key Stage 3.

Try this link.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/ks3bitesiz ... ssonplans/

Bitesize is brill, according to my daughter who`s using it for revision for UF exams in about a weeks time!!

[BTaylor]

Just a thought, but how about getting him some work experience in a place where English is an important tool. That way he'll see the practical application of having a good vocabulary.

What about the local rag? Could be quite interesting.

[Mid A 15]

Thanks Janet.

The letter to the newspaper sounds like a good idea - unfortunately the sex shop has been put on hold, so it'll have to be about something else!

I had thought about a few of us reading the same book - I suppose his mim and my wife could read it too, so we could talk about it and involve him in an 'adult' way. Maybe........

And please excuse my total ignorance, but what is a KS3 workbook?

The National curriculum is divided into 4 key stages (KS).

Children take standard assessment tests (SATS) at each key stage in Maths, English and Science ( 2 and beyond for science).

KS1 is taken at age 7 in year 2.

KS2 is taken at age 11 in year 6.

KS3 is taken at age 14 in year 9.

KS 4 is GCSEs taken at age 16 in year 11.

[Richard Ruck]

Just a thought, but how about getting him some work experience in a place where English is an important tool. That way he'll see the practical application of having a good vocabulary.

What about the local rag? Could be quite interesting.

Problem is, he's only 13. Not much work experience around for kids of that age, I would imagine.

The theory would seem to be right, though. A good command of English is so important, and he need to see this as a desirable thing to have.

[Mrs C.]

Just a thought, but how about getting him some work experience in a place where English is an important tool. That way he'll see the practical application of having a good vocabulary.

What about the local rag? Could be quite interesting.

Problem is, he's only 13. Not much work experience around for kids of that age, I would imagine.

The theory would seem to be right, though. A good command of English is so important, and he need to see this as a desirable thing to have.