Driving Test

[blondie95]

I dont mind, its just anoying that it seems to take me twice as long to park in Tescos than anyone else! Other than that i love driving, have got to grips with motorways and stuff its just the tight parking situation i have an issue with!

[Angela Woodford]

Firstly - I apologise for any non-feminist or sexist attitudes that may arise from my memories of how I finally learned to drive in order to pass my test.

My first, soon to be ex, husband had called in at our flat to pick up a few of his remaining posessions. As he prepared to leave, he picked up the keys for our battered Hillman Imp. "After all" he said , in a sardonic and sneering voice "you won't be needing the car, will you?" He trousered the keys and b£ggered off.

I had saved up for that car, and my father, very generously, had topped up my savings! I sat and seethed in an impotent fury as I heard the cough, splutter and roar of the Imp driving away. I sniffed into a Kleenex - but then felt full of resolve. I would pass my test and claim back the Imp!

I'd had quite a few lessons at CH with the thigh-groping Mr Brown in his orange Mini, and then taken the test once I'd left school. I'd failed miserably. How was I to know that that cat would dart across the road and that a lamp post would be in the wrong place? None the less, it was with some trepidation that I ventured through the door of the local BSM.

"Neil will be your instructor" said the manager. "Neil???" he shouted.

But a vision was entering the office. With platinum-streaked tousled locks and spray-on tight jeans, he was more like Rod Stewart than Rod Stewart was. "I'm Neilw" he said unnecessarily. I was dumbstruck as we walked out to the BSM car park.

The car was tucked away in a corner. It was a Triumph Dolomite, and I was amazed how easy it was to manoevre it out of its corner. The gears were as smooth as silk. In the Mini, changing gear had been like operating a swab held by long interlocking forceps. Before I knew it, I was on the main road. "Nothink wrong wiv yer free-point-turn then" said Neilw. I was beginning to feel very much more confident. "Well..." I said "I've never been very good at large roundabouts, dual carriageways, overtaking lorries...". My voice wobbled. "All a bit sticky for me!"

"Sticky!" said Neilw. "Sticky is what I love! Golden Syrup is what I love! Yeah..." He got out a pack of Rothies and fired one up. "Find a nice big fat woman and spread it on... oh yeah!" Choking with giggles, I realised that I had actually selected the correct lane and was negotiating a dreaded roundabout.

"bl**dy, bl**dy, bl**dy good!" shouted Neilw. His voice dropped again. "Getting a bit low on Golden Syrup, though. Better restock soon..."

Neilw was a joy. Before long, my driving had improved beyond recognition. Even reversing round a corner held no fears for me any more. Gone was the nervousness brought on by tetchy grumpy Mr Brown in the Mini, and after a month or so, Neilw thought I should attempt the driving test. Obligingly, he discovered the identity of the examiner.

"What bits of the Highway Code should I study just before the test?" I wondered. Neilw had other ideas. "Nah. Don't worry 'bout that - just concentrate on yer eye make-up" he advised. "The guy likes uniforms. See what you can come up wiv."

I'd selected a short scarlet velour dress, with small epaulettes which gave just a hint of uniformedness, the highest heels in which I felt I could drive and had brushed my eyelashes to a fluttery Bambi-like lushness. Well - I was desperate! I had to pass - I had to! Although the examiner had that exhausted world-weary demeanour that suggested he had been tormented by the horrors of examining to a hideous degree.

I have no recollection of the test whatsoever. As we drove back to the Test Centre, I could see Neilw peering casually from behind the swing doors. The examiner looked oddly pale as he totted up paperwork points or whatever.

"Miss Marsh" he managed "have you got any knowledge of the meaning of the word "anticipation"?"

I reeled off a dictionary definition. "Oh well, then" he said wearily. "Congratulations. You have passed".

Passers-by may have boggled at the sight of a scarlet-clad Bambi dancing on the pavement with Rod Stewart .

[Sean]

Car test ................................... Passed 2nd time aged 21
PCV (all groups) test ..................... Passed 2nd time aged 29
LGV (all groups) test ..................... Passed 2nd time aged 31
Fork Lift test ............................. Passed 1st time aged 31
HIAB Lorry loader test.................... Passed 1st time aged 32
CPC (freight haulage) National ......... Passed 2nd time aged 40
CPC (freight haulage) International .... Passed 1st time aged 42

Anyone get the feeling that I was too heavily involved in transport?

[J.R.]

CPC = Certificate of Professional Competence.

A Government certificate in Heavy Goods Road Haulage.

I also hold an International CPC.

[jhopgood]

Failed British Test in 1971
Exchanged expired British Provisional licence for valid licence in El Salvador 1973
On basis of Salvadoran licence got Colombian licence 1976
Renewed Salvadoran licence in 1978 without returning to El Salvador and got valid Costa Rican licence 1978
Based on Costa Rican Licence got Dutch licence in 1981
On back of Dutch licence got Spanish Licence in 1985
On back of Dutch licence got British licence in 1987 (still got it and up to date)
On back of Spanish licence got Guatemalan licence 1989
On back of Spanish licence got Argentine licence in 1992

I did take a written test in Costa Rica but was then told it was not necessary, and drove round a race track in Argentina, otherwise, nothing.
I'm sure it is all totally illegal but I got nothing under false pretences, not even the licence in El Salvador. The only thing they objected to, was a photograph that showed only one ear.

[Ajarn Philip]

The only thing they objected to, was a photograph that showed only one ear.

Blimey, what happened to the other one?

[jhopgood]

The only thing they objected to, was a photograph that showed only one ear.

Blimey, what happened to the other one?

It was under hair.

[Angela Woodford]

Car test ................................... Passed 2nd time aged 21
PCV (all groups) test ..................... Passed 2nd time aged 29
LGV (all groups) test ..................... Passed 2nd time aged 31
Fork Lift test ............................. Passed 1st time aged 31
HIAB Lorry loader test.................... Passed 1st time aged 32
CPC (freight haulage) National ......... Passed 2nd time aged 40
CPC (freight haulage) International .... Passed 1st time aged 42

Amazing, Sean, amazing! I don't suppose there's anything you can't drive!

[CHAZ]

Got my first driving licence in USA in 1986.

The test was on an automatic around a parking lot and the Highway Code was multiple choice slide show. No wonder when I came back to UK the US licence was refused for a direct swap and so I had to take a British test at 24.

I was teaching French at oakham school at the time and the kids laughed to see "Sir" with his driving instructor!

I failed the first time...of course. What do you think 4 years of driving in US does to you! The school kids loved this as most of them were passing first time...

How nice to be ridiculed by 18 year olds...

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

You are going to hate this --- !
In 1947 as a 2nd LT, I was given command of a Vehicle Depot Just North of Loughborough, (The Co-OP College at Stanford Park) the previous CO, a Major, had been recalled to the main Unit for fighting a Farmer in Loughborough, on Market Day ----- OOPS !
You can imagine that the handoveer was somewhat terse -- Here are the keys to the Safe, The Austin "Tilly" is outside -- and a banged door !
My Father had taken me out in his Morris 8 a few times, but otherwise ----
I got into the Austin, and drove it round the Park, without hitting anything, it didn't pull too well. I had, of course forgotton to let off the handbrake !
Over the next 6 Months, I drove everything on the Park, 10 to Machinery Lorrys, Scammels, Staff cars, 3Tonners 15cwts
etc. etc.
On return to the Unit I was appointed Motor Transport Officer, now a LT. and since the Army were now required to have civilian Licences, I tested everybody. When It came to my test, I thought I had better not sign my own form, so I went to the Colonel, who said "Give it here"-- and signed it. I asked "Sir, aren't you going to take me for a test !" hereplied "If my MTO can't drive -- then I'm in trouble ! "
For years my licence was for "All Groups" -- until HGVs and was transferred to S. Africa and return.
So when did I take a Test ? ----------- SSSHHH !

[kerrensimmonds]

My mother was proud to own a 'Defence of the Realm' driving licence in the War and did a lot of driving (including going into CH every morning to pick up Mr. Flecker's daughters to take them into Horsham where they were pupils at St. George's School, where she taught. That's how I came to go to CH in 1957, but it's a different story!). My father did not learn to drive until the 1950's, when we, the family, had came along - by which time my mother had let her Defence of the Realm licence lapse. So when she wanted to drive again she had to take the Driving Test - and failed three or four times before she eventually passed. Which was the better driver? My mother, by a long chalk. I used to dread being a passenger when my father was driving, especially in his later years. He had a totally idiosynchratic view of the purpose of roundabouts.....and thought the white line down the middle of the road was supposed to pass under the driver's side of the car, at 30 mph, whatever the stated speed limit of the road. Bless his soul.. he was a nightmare driver! Though he never had an accident, I sometimes wonder how many he caused......
I sometimes think in wonder of the sacrifices he and my family made to drive from the South Coast to Hertford and home again in order to visit me on e.g. Long Saturdays, especially given that there were no motorways in those days. It's a long and tedious journey even now.

[englishangel]

I don't know when my Dad learned to drive, sometime in the war I imagine, but he was a good driver, taking us to the beach at weekends and after school. About 10 years ago his driving started to deteriorate and he confinmed himself to local trips. If he and Ma were visiting any of us we would go and fetch them. When Ma died earlier in the year he gave the car away and now uses local buses whenever he can, regaliong us with the trips he has taken. Ma passed her test when 36 weeks pregnant with me but then didn't drive for years until she went back to work as a District nurse when I was about 13.

I had lessons at CH and took my first test at Christmas in the Upper Sixth, failing miserably. I then didn't bother again as I lived in places with superb public transport, (Birmingham, Sheffield, Birmingham -took my test and failed twice in this period- and London) until I was nearly 30 and realised that I was getting too mature to doss on peoples floors if I had missed the last train. Had six lessons and passed. 18 months later while pregnant my husband got a job which came with a car, he didn't drive either, and I told him he had better becasue I nwasn't going to drive myself to the hospital in labour. He took a week off between old and new jobs and did an intensive course. I think he would have passed but his test was scheduled for 9am on the Friday and I don't think he was even awake. He took it again the requisite time later, passed, took a bus to work from the test centre and picked up his brand new car, drove home and we went on holiday the same day.

We came back from holiday early because I had slipped a disc and in the next 4 days he drove from London to Birmingham to Doncaster and back for his grandmother's funeral, and then to Birrmingham again for his nephew's christening. Nearly 1000 miles in 4 days for a newbie driver who hadn't driven since his test 2 weeks before. Fortunately he was, and still is a very good driver, if a mite too fast for my nerves.

[J.R.]

I suddenly feel just that bit older.

Eldest Grand-Daughter has just phoned me to say she's got her driving-test date through !

[Sallz]

4th time lucky!!! but I did pass at 17...

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

We, or I, own two cars --- don't switch off ! The one I drive is an 8 year old, Ford Mondeo 1800c Zetec
The one my wife drives, is a 4year old 1000cc Toyota Yaris
Whenever I get to drive the Yaris, it has been "Set" for Dwarfs and I keep looking for another gear.
When Anne drives the Mondeo, and I get to drive it, my knees are under my chin, the mirrors seem to be looking at either the sky or the road 1 metre behind etc etc.
Recently, she backed the Mondeo out of the garage and managed to scrape the rear wing of HER YARIS ---
The Lord be praised -- I didn't do it, Brownie points banked for the Future !
When we first met, I had a 2litre Triumph, and like a besotted fool, I let her drive it, she seemed to enjoy the feeling of being pushed in the back, when pressing the accelletator !( No comments please !) and drove the car straight across a junction ! --- I still married "Lead Welly Annie " !
I shall now post this, with some haste, in case she comes into my Study and sees it !