'Elf n Safety gorn mad !

[englishangel]

We use Sally (satnav) to warn us of hold-ups when collecting various folk from far-flung destinations, I hope we know the way by now. Amazing how often the "avoid motorway" route is both shorter and quicker than the "fast" route though.

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

Frances -- I use the wretched thing when I am in unfamiliar territory -- and I find it difficult -- and illegal --to read a map whilst driving.

Sometimes, I am assisted by TBA --- but it is a well-known fact about Women and Maps ------- Incoming ?

[Jo]

I'm normally not too bad at navigating (though he is better), but just to humour you Neill.....

Recent conversation during a trip to Bristol. We were about to go out in the car and I'd got the Bristol map book out to check the route.

Me: "that's funny, I can't for the life of me see where we are on the map"
Him: "I'm not surprised. You're looking at a map of Bath".



Well, we have to live down to our stereotypes occasionally or the chaps would be so disappointed.

[Angela Woodford]

NEILL, NEILL, NEILL! You're doing gender issue again!

This "Awaiting Incoming Fire" thing you do. I don't mind saying that I'm a rubbish navigator. Others - in fact everybody else, male or female, as far as I'm concerned is better than I. So what?

Oh, all right. OK,

[sejintenej]

NEILL, NEILL, NEILL! You're doing gender issue again!

This "Awaiting Incoming Fire" thing you do. I don't mind saying that I'm a rubbish navigator. Others - in fact everybody else, male or female, as far as I'm concerned is better than I. So what?

Oh, all right. OK,

OK, so you want to end up living with the puffins on Lundy?

[Angela Woodford]

I'm not quite sure where Lundy is, David, I'll have to look it up on a map!

[englishangel]

In the Bristol Channel Angela.

I am a very good map reader and even read it with North to the top.

One of the weather people on BBC London talked of the rain above London the other day, waving vaguely around Watford. She didn't mean that it was raining over London but that it was "north of" London.

Clarification following a pm from someone who didn't want to embarrass me (than you)

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

Success !
I believe most of you now realise why I am an expert at "Winding people up" !
I believe , however, that the following are, genuinely, amusing ----

Elfin Safety in Christmas Carols ---
While Shepherds watched their flocks by night ---

The Union of Shepherds complain that this breaches Health and Safety, to insist that they watch their flocks, without appropriate seating arrangements being provided -- such as Benches, Stools and Orthopedic Chairs. Shepherds have also requested that, due to the inclement weather conditions, at this time of year, they should watch their flocks via CCTV situated in centrally-heated Flock Obsevation huts
The Angel of the Lord, is also reminded that before shining His/Her Glory all around, He/She must ascertain that all Shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.------- (Note from NTN -- please note this is not a Gender Issue ! )

Next issue from me will concern the Risk Assessment of a One Horse Open Sleigh, and the RSPCA investigation,as to the deafening number of Jingling Bells on the one horse, with appropriate Load restrictions /

[englishangel]

HO HO HO

[Fjgrogan]

Nasty dangerous implements, hoes - should be banned by Elfin Safety!

[Angela Woodford]

Success !
I believe most of you now realise why I am an expert at "Winding people up" !

The italics are mine.

I don't imagine anyone was in any doubt that you enjoy "winding people up".

But why bother? You are often funny and interesting. Why take such pleasure in being otherwise?

Perhaps I am a bit old-fashioned with no sense of humour.

[englishangel]

Nasty dangerous implements, hoes - should be banned by Elfin Safety!

On Dave (a cable channel showing old -mainly BBC- comedy shows) this morning was the classic Two Ronnies sketch about four candles, and 'ose. Still makes me laugh. Good clean jokes.

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

I will endeavour, in future, to avoid upsetting Angela, who seems to have a particular dislike of jokes which she regards as "Gender Issues "

[Angela Woodford]

... but it is a well-known fact about Women and Maps ------- Incoming ?

I suppose it's just not my sense of humour. You seem to invite an exasperated response, not just by "winding-up" women, NEILL, but if that's what you enjoy...

I'll try not to rise to the wind-ups.

[sejintenej]

... but it is a well-known fact about Women and Maps ------- Incoming ?

I'll try not to rise to the wind-ups.

You want to remain at the bottom of the Well of Despondency?

(gets suit of armour)