'Elf n Safety gorn mad !

[J.R.]

Jan and I popped down to Horsham briefly yesterday. (Sorry, I didn't contact you local residents and posters, but it was a spur of the moment thing).

Amongst other shops, we popped into Poundland to buy a few bits and pieces.

I spotted a lovely little calligraphy set to add to her collection and tossed them into the basket.

We eventually reach the check-out.........

Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep.........

Cashier:- "Sorry Sir ! I can't let you have this. This items been withdrawn !"

It was the calligraphy set !!

Me:- "Why ? Is it a faulty line ?"

Cashier calls supervisor.

Supervisor:- "Sorry Sir ! I can't let you have this. This items been withdrawn !"

Me:- "Why ? Is it because its a faulty line ?"

Supervisor:- "No Sir - 'Elf and Safety. School children might use the nibs as a weapon !"

Me:- "I am NOT a school child !"

Supervisor:- "Sorry Sir - You can't have it - 'Elf and Safety !!!"

I did point out that on the next shelf to the stationery items, were kitchen items, including kitchen knives and scissors, and that on a shelf two ailes away, you could by THREE packs of paracetamol for a quid ! !

We might not be allowed back in Poundland in Horsham again !

[Mid A 15]

Unless there was a notice stating that the item had been withdrawn I'm not sure that they should have refused to sell it to you.

Trading Standards might be interested particularly if the item is still "theoretically" for sale.

EDIT: No they won't!! Shops have the right to refuse to sell items displayed for sale.

http://www.newcastle.gov.uk/core.nsf/a/tstraderright

[sejintenej]

Supervisor:- "No Sir - 'Elf and Safety. School children might use the nibs as a weapon !"

!

Thanks to you and OFSTED I have answered about another such body. However, I forgot to mention there that on my last visit to hospital the Registrar (a very pleasant and apparently competent lady in her burqa (?)) was using a fountain pen with a NIB and real ink. Don't you think she should be sacked as a danger to children?

[jhopgood]

I seem to remember that there was a Golden Pen Prize, for those with the best calligraphy, won in my time by Geoff Neuss who wrote in italic.
Has Elven Safety banned that prize or has something else been instituted?

I actually prefer writing in pen and ink,
As it makes me stop and think,
Before I put pen to paper.

[sejintenej]

I seem to remember that there was a Golden Pen Prize, for those with the best calligraphy, won in my time by Geoff Neuss who wrote in italic.
Has Elven Safety banned that prize or has something else been instituted?

I actually prefer writing in pen and ink,
As it makes me stop and think,
Before I put pen to paper.

In primary school we had to write joined-up copperplate which, of course, needs a specialised nib.

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

The Gold Pen, was being awarded -- even during the War --- did they have a stock ?
It had a name -- the **** Gold pen, for Calligraphy, but for the life of me, I can't remember the Name.

With my handwriting, I should have been a Doctor ( Is it part of Medical Training ?)

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

Back to 'Elfin Safety ---
I imagine the whole of the UK now knows about Poole's Plastic Christmas Tree (Radio 4, the One Show, TV News )

It replaced the genuine article this year, because "People" complained about the Guy Ropes and the accompanying Notice Boards, advising them of the danger of the said ropes --- H&S !

It is conical (A Typo for comical ?) about 30ft high, described as "An inverted Traffic Cone", hollow for maintenance and lights up at night.

I have no sympathy, under normal circumstances, with Poole Borough Council -- who are of a different Political Persuasion to myself --but you can't win can you ? --- at least it can be used next year !

I live about 100m outside Poole -- in the County of Dorset --- We would never have done that ---- Would we -- would we ???

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

In the School, of which I was Chairman, in the Head's corridor, was a Pen and Ink Drawing of three fish connected by fishing lines ---

With the title "Joined up Whiting "

Brilliant !

[sejintenej]

Back to 'Elfin Safety ---
I imagine the whole of the UK now knows about Poole's Plastic Christmas Tree (Radio 4, the One Show, TV News )

It is conical (A Typo for comical ?) about 30ft high, described as "An inverted Traffic Cone", hollow for maintenance and lights up at night.

Given that your normal traffic cone is wider at the base narrowing to a near point at the top I can imagine an inverted traffic cone.
If anyone reckons a Christmas Tree should be point down then IMHO they need admission to a mental hospital.

[Fjgrogan]

Just outside Leicester (at Hamilton, if I remember correctly) there is a traffic roundabout which supports three or four replicas of the Poole 'Christmas Tree' all the year round. I have no idea why - they are neither decorative nor functional.

[midget]

But they ain't got nuffin on the Barnstaple Stones which are neither use nor ornament, and quite possibly the cause of several nasty accidents on the daft rounabout systen which they "adorn".

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

I don't know if we are "OFF TOPIC" on Roundabouts (Which my Satnav calls --- in an American Voive "ROTARYS")
but I rather like the stylised "Normans" which adorn Roundabouts in, where else but, Normandy

[englishangel]

Still (sorry can't get "off topic" up), I was in the bank a while back where one of the cashiers had just returned to work part time after a car accident which had seen her in ICU for two weeks. I was chatting to the woman in front of me that my colleague had seen a car upside down in the middle of a local roundabout at the bottom of a hill and the woman who had been in the car escaped with only minor injuries. The woman I was chatting to said "yes I only had to wear a soft collar for a couple of weeks".

what are the odds?

[Vonny]

I live about 100m outside Poole -- in the County of Dorset ---

Not a million miles away myself
I saw the tree on the news - am hoping to get to Poole before Xmas (2nd weekend of illness though so been housebound ) - I thought it looked nice in the dark (with the lights on of course! ) but pretty non descript in daylight!

[Fjgrogan]

Oh Neill, you have just dropped enormously in my estimation - surely you are not a user of the infamous Prat Nav!