From the sublime to the ridiculous

Anything that doesn't fit anywhere else, and is NON CH related - chat about the weather, or anything else that takes your fancy.

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sejintenej
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Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by sejintenej » Sun Jul 29, 2018 12:49 pm

OK you can think I'm sexist but I am from the era when mem were men and . (work that out for yourselves)


The wife is complaining about me again to the neighbors She now tells everyone I’m 300% impotent.
A few days ago I was only 100%, not 300%.
According to her after I fell down the stairs, broke my finger and bit my tongue...
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My wife dropped her keys & said “What’s WRONG with me?”
I named 6 things before I realized it was a rhetorical question.
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Sometimes I’m right. Other times my wife is close enough to hear what I’m saying.

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My wife asked me today if I would ever cheat on her. I replied, “Who else would I cheat on?”

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I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.

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I married my wife for her looks. Just not the ones she’s been giving me lately.

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It’s nice that after 17 years of marriage I can still have a sex dream about my wife.
Last night the role of my wife was played by Jessica Alba.
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My wife always cheats when we play board games, like last night, we were all playing Monopoly and she was next door **** the neighbor.

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A husband comes home and asks the wife what she’d do if he won the lottery.
Wife: I’d take half and leave your ass.
Husband: I won $12, here’s 6 bucks now get the **** out!
Every government carries a health warning

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J.R.
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Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by J.R. » Sun Jul 29, 2018 12:59 pm

Priceless !
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.

sejintenej
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Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by sejintenej » Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:13 pm

My wife and I were both members of PETA, only different organizations. Mine was People Eating Tasty Animals. Anyway, early in our marriage, her doctor told her he wanted to run a test on her that involved the death of a small animal. When she didn’t think much of the idea, he asked her what she would use. She thought for a minute and responded with politicians, lawyers and convicted felons.

After the doctor stopped laughing, he asked her why she saved the convicted felons for last. “In that order” asked the doctor?

Her response was classic and the poor doctor never recovered.

She said, “Yes, absolutely. I saved the felons for last because there is an outside chance they can be rehabilitated.”

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Guns don’t kill people – husbands who come home early, do.

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Good friends are like fine wine. That’s why I keep mine locked in the cellar.

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Whenever I want to be left alone, I go to the mall and hold a clipboard.

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Old MacDonald was dyslectic, O-I-O-I-E
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If Veggie Tales did the story of Judas, it would be called ‘Judas is a carrot”.

(Or was that Judas Asparagus?)

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Why can’t Dalmatians hide?

Because they’re always spotted.
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The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.
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If someone doesn’t like cats, it just means that he’s never had them cooked the right way.

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If you give your wife flowers for no apparent reason, it makes her suspicious.

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If you had a stadium full of midgets, and they stood up to do the wave, it would be a ripple...

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Dinosaurs didn’t read. Now they are extinct. Thank goodness the thesaurus survived.
Every government carries a health warning

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J.R.
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Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by J.R. » Sat Oct 20, 2018 9:03 pm

Brilliant !!
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.

sejintenej
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Missing cat and one for the orphans (I can't resist)

Post by sejintenej » Wed Oct 24, 2018 8:53 am

Missing cat.
Please return Dead and Alive to Erwin Schroedinger


Ban pre-shredded cheese.
Make America grate again.


Ants are healthy, because they have little anti-bodies


This is my stepladder.
I never knew my real ladder
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sejintenej
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A simple question ?

Post by sejintenej » Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:26 pm

Who wrote:

Give me the child and I will mould him into anything"

I have heard "Hitler" "Nietszche" "Skinner"

Does anyone actually know?
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LongGone
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Re: A simple question ?

Post by LongGone » Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:39 pm

sejintenej wrote:
Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:26 pm
Who wrote:

Give me the child and I will mould him into anything"

I have heard "Hitler" "Nietszche" "Skinner"

Does anyone actually know?
Supposedly, Aristotle.
Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man
If a stone falls on an egg: alas for the egg
If an egg falls on a stone: alas for the egg

ZeroDeConduite
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Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by ZeroDeConduite » Sun Nov 04, 2018 4:46 pm

Then Ignatius Loyola - and the Jesuits.
Then Bill Gates ;-)
PrepA 1951-2 Peele A 1953-60

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J.R.
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Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by J.R. » Sun Nov 04, 2018 4:53 pm

I'm almost too afraid to add my thoughts.

Maybe ex CH teaching staff could enlighten us. However, what deceased people have said in the past is really nothing to do with today.
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.

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