From the sublime to the ridiculous

Anything that doesn't fit anywhere else, and is NON CH related - chat about the weather, or anything else that takes your fancy.

Moderator: Moderators

Post Reply
Fjgrogan
Button Grecian
Posts: 1427
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2009 7:56 pm
Real Name: Frances Grogan (nee Haley)
Location: Surbiton, Surrey

Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by Fjgrogan » Wed May 16, 2012 10:37 am

The Speech Day Oration can now be read? Where's the challenge in that? Fings ain't wot they used to be!!
Frances Grogan (Haley) 6's 1956 - 62

'A clean house is a sign of a broken computer.'

kerrensimmonds
Button Grecian
Posts: 9395
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2005 8:34 pm
Real Name: Kerren Simmonds
Location: West Sussex

Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by kerrensimmonds » Wed May 16, 2012 2:44 pm

Frances.. do you remember Sheila Murphy saying : 'my Lord Mayor, the senior girls are now wearing skirts instead of blouses........'. Poor girl.
Kerren Simmonds
5's and 2's Hertford, 1957-1966

User avatar
J.R.
Forum Moderator
Posts: 14818
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2005 4:53 pm
Real Name: John Rutley
Location: Dorking, Surrey

Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by J.R. » Wed May 16, 2012 4:49 pm

kerrensimmonds wrote:Frances.. do you remember Sheila Murphy saying : 'my Lord Mayor, the senior girls are now wearing skirts instead of blouses........'. Poor girl.

.... it could have been far worse, Kerren !!
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.

Fjgrogan
Button Grecian
Posts: 1427
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2009 7:56 pm
Real Name: Frances Grogan (nee Haley)
Location: Surbiton, Surrey

Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by Fjgrogan » Wed May 16, 2012 5:30 pm

Sorry Kerren - evidently my memory is also not what it used to be!
Frances Grogan (Haley) 6's 1956 - 62

'A clean house is a sign of a broken computer.'

sejintenej
Button Grecian
Posts: 3108
Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2005 12:19 pm
Real Name: David Brown
Location: Essex

I'm not Green?

Post by sejintenej » Sun Jul 15, 2012 6:24 pm

As an old git this has been forwarded to me ( sorry but its a bit long):

> > GREEN PERCEPTION: Checking out at Tesco, the young cashier suggested
> > to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because
> > plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
> >
> > The woman apologised and explained, "We didn't have this green thing
> > back in my earlier days."
> >
> > The assistant responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation
> > did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

> >
> > She was right - our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
> > Back then, we returned milk bottles, soft drink bottles and beer
> > bottles to the shop.
> > The shop sent them back to the plant to be washed, sterilised and
> > refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they
> > really were recycled.
> > But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
> >
> > We walked up stairs because we didn't have a lift or escalator in
> > every store an office building. We walked to the grocers and didn't
> > climb into a 200-horsepower machine every time we had to go two
> > blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
> >
> > Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the
> > throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling
> > machine burning up 2,000 watts - wind and solar power really did dry
> > our clothes back then.
> >
> > Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not
> > always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't
> > have the green thing back in our day.

> >
> > Back then, we had one TV or radio in the house - not a TV in every room.
> > And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief, not a screen
> > the size of Yorkshire. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand
> > because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When
> > we packaged a fragile item to send in the post, we used wadded up old
> > newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
> >
> > Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the
> lawn.
> > We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by
> > working, so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills
> > that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green
> thing back then.

> >
> > When we were thirsty, we drank from a tap instead of drinking from a
> > plastic bottle of water shipped from the other side of the world.
> >
> > We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we
> > replaced the blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole
> > razor when the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back
> > then.

> >
> > Back then, people took the bus and kids rode their bikes to school or
> > walked instead of turning their mums into a 24-hour taxi service. We
> > had one electrical socket in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to
> > power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to
> > receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in
> > order to find the nearest fish and chip shop.
> >
> > But isn't it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful we
> > old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
> >
> > Please forward this on to another selfish, grumpy old git who needs a
> > lesson in conservation from a smart-arse young person.

sejintenej
Button Grecian
Posts: 3108
Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2005 12:19 pm
Real Name: David Brown
Location: Essex

Signing his name is banned by Nebraska school

Post by sejintenej » Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:34 pm

You simply couldn't make it up.

3 year old master Hunter Spanjer is deaf but has learned the standard S.E.E.' - which stands for Signing Exact English, a sign language system.
Unfortunately the authorities consider that when giving his name his hand looks like a gun and his school has a policy forbidding children from bringing 'any instrument that looks like a weapon' to school. He has therefore been banned from giving his name. I suppose next thing they will apply for a court order for the surgical removal of such weapons

Source; http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z24sWVriA2

User avatar
J.R.
Forum Moderator
Posts: 14818
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2005 4:53 pm
Real Name: John Rutley
Location: Dorking, Surrey

Re: Signing his name is banned by Nebraska school

Post by J.R. » Wed Aug 29, 2012 1:58 pm

sejintenej wrote:You simply couldn't make it up.

3 year old master Hunter Spanjer is deaf but has learned the standard S.E.E.' - which stands for Signing Exact English, a sign language system.
Unfortunately the authorities consider that when giving his name his hand looks like a gun and his school has a policy forbidding children from bringing 'any instrument that looks like a weapon' to school. He has therefore been banned from giving his name. I suppose next thing they will apply for a court order for the surgical removal of such weapons

Source; http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z24sWVriA2

The world is rapidly going mad !
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.

sejintenej
Button Grecian
Posts: 3108
Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2005 12:19 pm
Real Name: David Brown
Location: Essex

Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by sejintenej » Fri Jul 18, 2014 8:21 am

Headline in this morning's online newspaper. Does it mean 6.55am?

Rise at dawn? It could make you a liar later: Early risers found to become less honest as the day goes on
“When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love ...”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 167AD

Fjgrogan
Button Grecian
Posts: 1427
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2009 7:56 pm
Real Name: Frances Grogan (nee Haley)
Location: Surbiton, Surrey

Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by Fjgrogan » Fri Jul 18, 2014 9:03 am

Certainly makes you more tired later - my body tends to wake with the sun (about 4.30 at the moment) so I am too tired by mid afternoon to consider whether I am being honest or not!! Fortunately I don't have an evening social life - or perhaps that is a lie?
Frances Grogan (Haley) 6's 1956 - 62

'A clean house is a sign of a broken computer.'

User avatar
J.R.
Forum Moderator
Posts: 14818
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2005 4:53 pm
Real Name: John Rutley
Location: Dorking, Surrey

Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by J.R. » Fri Jul 18, 2014 10:00 am

Since acclimitising completely to retirement, my time-clock is all over the place, but they say this does happen with age !
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.

User avatar
LongGone
Deputy Grecian
Posts: 285
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:17 pm
Real Name: Mike Adams
Location: New England

Re: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Post by LongGone » Fri Jul 18, 2014 10:26 am

sejintenej wrote:Headline in this morning's online newspaper. Does it mean 6.55am?

Rise at dawn? It could make you a liar later: Early risers found to become less honest as the day goes on
I get up at 5:00 every morning. As the only OB to have won an Oscar, Nobel prize and an Olympic medal for decathalon, I can assure you this study is nonsense.

Sent from my Manhattan penthouse at 11:00 p.m.
If a stone falls on an egg: alas for the egg
If an egg falls on a stone: alas for the egg

sejintenej
Button Grecian
Posts: 3108
Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2005 12:19 pm
Real Name: David Brown
Location: Essex

Food shopping

Post by sejintenej » Wed Jul 30, 2014 9:03 am

Not jokes as such but some peeps at......................................:

A woman in a Brighton store was spotted looking in her handbag at the checkout only to realise she had forgotten her purse.

Her 11-year-old daughter said: "That's fine mummy, I still have daddy's AMEX from my school ski trip."
.......................................

A worker in Oxfordshire was stunned when a customer's child asked: "Mummy, are the free cups of coffee for the poor people that haven't got a Gaggia."
................................................

A female customer was overheard telling her husband: "Darling, there are only two half lobster tails left."

Her husband replied: "Only two, that's ridiculous. It must be the heat, everybody's barbecuing this weekend."
.............................................

we like Tesco - it keeps the riff raff out of Waitrose

and heard elsewhere (again alledgedly:

Them poussins, don't they reckon they taste a bit like chicken?

Oh just get the pink salmon it's not worth the extra for the red

Look: "Dine in for £10 including wine"! That's good value for us two and the seven kids, especially if only me, you and the eldest three share the wine.



A staff member in Newton Mearns, near Glasgow, overheard a child asking their parent: "Mummy, are we doing shopping for the boat as well?"
“When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love ...”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 167AD

sejintenej
Button Grecian
Posts: 3108
Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2005 12:19 pm
Real Name: David Brown
Location: Essex

Barrows, Marrows, Arrows and, next year, the Toilet Ducks

Post by sejintenej » Thu Jul 31, 2014 1:21 pm

If you believe a word of this then you are ...........

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/artic ... rrows.html

User avatar
J.R.
Forum Moderator
Posts: 14818
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2005 4:53 pm
Real Name: John Rutley
Location: Dorking, Surrey

Re: Barrows, Marrows, Arrows and, next year, the Toilet Duck

Post by J.R. » Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:42 pm

sejintenej wrote:If you believe a word of this then you are ...........

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/artic ... rrows.html

How Craig Brown maintains a column in a serious newspaper is totally beyond me. If he thinks he's funny, he isn't.
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.

sejintenej
Button Grecian
Posts: 3108
Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2005 12:19 pm
Real Name: David Brown
Location: Essex

Re: Barrows, Marrows, Arrows and, next year, the Toilet Duck

Post by sejintenej » Thu Jul 31, 2014 3:10 pm

J.R. wrote:
sejintenej wrote:If you believe a word of this then you are ...........

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/artic ... rrows.html

How Craig Brown maintains a column in a serious newspaper is totally beyond me. If he thinks he's funny, he isn't.
Given the world beating appeal of British (and some American) music, France has a licencing requirement that broadcasters transmit at least 40% of their musical output by French artists. That "British" newspaper includes so much American and other furriner (usually trivial) rubbish that they seem to think they must include a British columnist in case the UK brings in a requirement similar to the French one.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest