Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

I'm glad you said British columnist and not British journalist, David.

I've tried reading his pieces in ther past and they left me cold. I take The Mail but never bother with his rubbish these days.

Yes! That is the heading of a sales email I have just received. Perhaps I need it because I am on the bottom edge of weight acceptable for my height!!!!!

sejintenej wrote:Yes! That is the heading of a sales email I have just received. Perhaps I need it because I am on the bottom edge of weight acceptable for my height!!!!!

After a recent minor operation, I was graded as weight to height and body mass acceptable for age, so I'm not worrying just yet !

I couldn't resist this compilation which includes:

Fears that internet giant Amazon has been growing too powerful seemed to be confirmed in late July, with the announcement by Prime Minister David Cameron that Parliament is to rebranded Amazondebates.co.uk.

‘Customers will be able to order up an opinion and have an MP deliver it in the Chamber within 24 hours,’ declared Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos. ‘Hey, there’s nothing sinister about it. It’s great news for democracy.

’

For the rest of the rubbish( careful about flying with that Irishman):
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/artic ... t-Two.html

It being the season of goodwill and all that (and in the interests of general edicashun)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B3NCdWWIcAAaBl-.jpg:large

Why is it right - or is it? A quote from a novel I'm currently reading. OK so it is (I think) American but we would say the same in the UK

"I am, aren't I?" I asked with a grin

I'll expand that to
"I am, are not I?" I asked with a grin

Given that the subject is the first person singular how can that part of the second verb be right?

It's presumably to avoid a clumsy collocation. If you wanted to stick to the correct grammar, you could always use "... am I not?"

Just read today an account of the last days of Edward VI: not nice. His body was kept hidden and his death not announced until it could be arranged that Lady Jane Grey could become sovereign (which, of course, she didn't).
He was buried in a grave in a chapel in Westminster Abbey with no gravestone or other memorial until Christs Hospital placed a memorial stone there in October 1966 - more than 400 years after his death. My understanding is that apart from the general location the position of his grave is unknown

I have said it before, here it is again. Politics is a compound word from the Greek poli meaning many, and ticks, for bloodsucking insects.

sejintenej wrote:I have said it before, here it is again. Politics is a compound word from the Greek poli meaning many, and ticks, for bloodsucking insects.

I rest my case, Me'Lud !!

An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!

'What powerful rivers!

'What beautiful animals!

He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer.

He tripped and fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him...

At that instant the Atheist cried out,

'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'

'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?

Am I to count you as a believer?

The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?

'Very well, ' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

'For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful, Amen.'

AUSTRALIAN TELEPHONE GREETING

Wouldn’t it be amazing, if this was to be introduced in the UK and Canada.

This is the actual message you get when you phone the Australian social services/benefit office! Fantastic...

‘GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO “CENTRELINK”

THE AUSTRALIAN SOCIAL SERVICES AND BENEFITS OFFICE’

“Press ‘1’ if you speak English.”

‘‘Press ‘ 2 ‘ to disconnect until you can ... Have a nice day.”

If you agree ... keep it going.

There was a Mensa convention in San Francisco. (Mensa, as you probably know, is a national organization for people who have an IQ of 140 or higher).

Several of the Mensa members went for lunch at a local café. When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.

How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, this was a job for Mensa minds.

The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally, came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over, ready to dazzle her with their solution. “Ma’am,” they said, “we couldn’t help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker has pepper. But before they could finish, the waitress interrupted: “Oh sorry about that.”

She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them. There was dead silence at the Mensa table.

Kind of reminds you of the folks in Ottawa, Canada and Washington D.C., doesn’t it?


The author forgot Westminster, Brussels and Bonn

I got a salad for dinner.

Well actually a fruit salad.

Well mostly grapes.

Well all right all grapes.

Fermented grapes.

well Wine.

I have wine for dinner.

People that wonder if there glass is half empty or half full are missing the point.

IT’S REFILLABLE.

Did you know that two or three glasses of wine a day reduce you chance of giving a sh1t!

Not to be technical but according to chemistry Alcohol is a solution.

I am not a alcoholic, alcoholics need a drink. I already have one.

Sometimes when I reflect back on all of the wine I drink, I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think of all the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams.

If I didn’t’ drink the wine they might lose their jobs and all of their hopes and dreams would be shattered. Then I think to myself that it is better to drink this wine than shatter all of their hopes and dreams, than worry about my liver. Jack Hardy

I only drink a little but when I do I turn into someone who drinks a lot.

Dear alcohol your promised to make me prettier, funnier and a better dancer.

I saw the video we need to talk!

Lord give me coffee to change the things I can and wine to accept the things I can’t.

Of course size matters no one want a small glass of wine.

With all the yakking about Brexit it is good to see somone else has a decision problem:


I stopped by the Ford Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new F-150 aluminum pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new truck “feel” before they become old.

The salesman (a handsome, gay man wearing a “Hillary for President” lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat next to me, describing the truck and all its “wonderful” options.

The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned, “This must be a Republican truck”.

Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck.

I explained: “If it were a Hillary truck, the seats would just blow smoke up your ass year-round.”