doesnt want us to visit

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fatheroftwo
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doesnt want us to visit

Post by fatheroftwo » Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:45 am

Hello all, Im just wondering how much other parents visit during the term, either for events, shows, sport matches etc. Our daughter tells us about all these matches that she plays but when we ask if we can come and watch them she insists that parents aren't allowed. I would have thought that the school would encourage parents to come and watch the matches? She doesnt tell us in advance when the games are, but then when we speak she tells us about games she's played, how many goals scored, being player of the match etc and we are so proud and would love to witness it ourselves. When we insist that surely we must be allowed to come she just says that she wouldnt be able to play as well with us watching, that we would put her off. We dont want to upset her but also keep thinking we should just show up and not tell her. Does anyone else experience this or similar?

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englishangel
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by englishangel » Tue Jan 27, 2009 2:05 pm

Welcome to the forum. I bet you will now get a chorus of..."that happens to us too" ...especially from parents of girls, they seem much shyer than the boys, more easily embarrassed. She would probably 'die' even knowing you have posted this.

I remember when I was leaving and we were all sitting in the hall waiting for prize giving and the girl next to me was watching parents coming in and she said "he's dishy" and I turned round and it was MY DAD she was referring to. Oh the embarrassment.

Perhaps you are a 'dishy' Dad or an over-enthusiastic one, or perhaps she thinks that travelling to watch her play will over-stretch the budget, something else I was very aware of though we lived 90 miles away so it wasn't really an option.

It is typical teenage behaviour, so I think that for the time being you will have to experience the matches vicariously, unless of course anyone else has any ideas.
"If a man speaks, and there isn't a woman to hear him, is he still wrong?"

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Ajarn Philip
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by Ajarn Philip » Tue Jan 27, 2009 3:20 pm

Interesting. One of the best performances I ever managed in a game of rugby was aged 15-16 (CH Colts) when both my father and the HM (Newsome) were there unannouced. I don't know if that was relevant, but I do remember the fact 35 years later...

Go and watch! And be proud!
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CHAZ
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by CHAZ » Tue Jan 27, 2009 4:14 pm

Fatherof2,

You should have access to the CH calendar and there you can see the sporting fixtures etc. I would hope that you know what team she plays for and then you can choose which fixtures to attend or not. A visit to the tuck shop afterwards went down well for me when I played. Perhpas this may work. Arriving a little later is good too as then your daughter will already be into the game...

Like Philip I have a fond memory of my grand-parents turning up announced at Dulwich College (they lived in Haywards Heath so quite a trek) for a First XV which we lost royally. But their presence did not have an effect on performance! I played crap anyway!

I echo Philip..go and watch!
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by Momto2 » Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:44 pm

F of 2 - very different story from me. My daughter plays for her age group A team for netball and hockey and loves us going to watch home and away matches (well, she always seems pleased to see us)! To be quite honest there are very few parents who go to watch the matches because we are all so widespread so it's good to be able to give them support when we can and I'm sure it must give them a boost to hear people cheering them on! My son is in the cricket 1st XI and we get to as many of those matches as possible too (have to say, he's probably less pleased to see us)!!

As Chaz says, you have access to all the dates of the fixtures - I go through and highlight everything my children are involved in. I say, go and see her play. I'm sure she will be very pleasantly surprised to see you and will certainly be glad to hear support for the team.

... and yes, make sure you have money with you - I've been dragged off to the tuck shop many a time to buy morale-boosting chocolate supplies for the team :D

sejintenej
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by sejintenej » Tue Jan 27, 2009 8:08 pm

Whilst I sympathise with your plight, the school has a responsibility to pupils and, according to those that know, "security" will not allow you on school grounds unless it is arranged in advance. This has been the subject of numerous posts here in the past.

Go by all means but do arrange it beforehand and I suspect that there are ways of doing it so that she doesn't know.
It is hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

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blondie95
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by blondie95 » Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:02 pm

in my two years there i do remember seeing parents come watch sports games on a saturday. There were always someones parents there, and for many it was nice to have them there-as mentioned in another post a trip to tuckshop or to bring some goodies was always a 'benefit' of your parents turning up!
Your daughter may be slightly cautious because if no one elses parents turn up she may not want to be the odd one out!

Go and watch one, see how you both take it and then go from there!!
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Mrs C.
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by Mrs C. » Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:17 am

Parents do come along to support sports teams etc - and are actively encouraged to do so , as far as I`m aware.
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by Angela Woodford » Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:58 am

I was just wondering - is it just sports events that she doesn't want you to attend?

What about the concerts, drama productions, oh - I don't know what parents are invited to see, but other things?
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GEMV
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by GEMV » Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:16 pm

I say go and see a match... don't turn up to every match (that would probably embarrass), but pick what looks to be a 'big match' against a tough school say, and I'm sure she will play well as a consequence. I played better with my dad watching... he always turned up unannounced which made it all the more exciting.

There are parents that turn up at every game and those that never turn up... fit somewhere in between, I should imagine the key is to know when to appear and disappear!

thriftymatron
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by thriftymatron » Sat Feb 28, 2009 3:13 pm

I always attended any matches that I could whilst my 2 sons were at CH, both home and away, and often found that there were far fewer CH supporters than those for the opposition - sometimes I would be the only one, but at least I could cheer loudly when tries were scored etc! Of course, the odd post-match treats for them to share with their friends were also appreciated. I actually watched fewer matches once I joined the staff, as I worked alternate Saturdays.

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CHAZ
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by CHAZ » Mon Mar 02, 2009 2:46 pm

Well this topic has had 300 hits and 10 replies but still no news from "fatheroftwo"?!
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NEILL THE NOTORIOUS
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by NEILL THE NOTORIOUS » Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:46 pm

By all means WATCH --- but what is embarassing, is shouting encouragement !

I have been on both ends of that, and I didn't realise I was imitating my Father --- until it was pointed out to me !!! :oops:

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J.R.
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Re: doesnt want us to visit

Post by J.R. » Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:51 am

My eldest Grand-Daughter almost INSISTS I watch her play football for Horley Town Ladies Reserves.

She played in a friendly against London Ladies at New Eltham yesterday afternnon, and managed to score, even with a strained thigh muscle.

Big cuddles all round !
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.

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