Not wanting to go back - is this common?

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wurzel
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by wurzel »

I loved going back - spent every summer working 6 or 7 days a week 12 hours a day on the families small arable farm for little or no reward (in 1987 aged 16 I got £20 for the entire summer, was given a 1971 vintage moped and a new crash helmet , I then had to spend £10 on the tax, £10 on the MOT and £80 ish on the insurance). It was hard heavy work shovelling grain, refuelling and greasing tractors/machinery and driving tractors (no cabs or air con) in clouds of dust. I can recall at least 3 occasions I came close to death including being knocked from the top of a combine by the force of a snapping 1'' diameter drive belt hitting meacross the face and then laying totally winded on my back watching a back wheel coming towards me unable to move or shout.

For me despite hassles at school it was always an easier life than my summer "holiday". My children and I guess most others have far better holidays nowadays which might be why the school has had to get softer and hence more expensive (we lived in an ex farmworkers 3 bedroom semi with no cavities and 5 children so the cold dorms didn't seem that weird to me)
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by huggermugger »

Think you're already reassured that it can and does happen - tho am not really sure how reassuring that actually is....

My DS (going back into LE this year) has said pretty much the same things tho almsot alays when he's been tired. He has also been a lot more grumpy generally this summer but particularly in the last couple of weeks. As has already been said - the contrast between the summer holidays and school is great especially when they get 8 weeks off to wander around doing not a lot (Tho I accept that wurzel was an honourable exception here!)

I have pointed out to my DS that I don't normally have so much time off work, the weather isn't normally this good and the holidays are just that - holidays from real life. I'm not sure he really believes me tho - I suspect he thinks I have a great life here without him when in reality I cram as much work/ housework etc as possible into the term weeks so that I can spend as much of the holiday as possible with him, doing what he wants to do.

I think I (and surely others) am hoisted on my own petard... :(
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by englishangel »

I worked every holidays (summer, Christmas, Easter and even that funny one in October) from the age if 14 (and before that helped my dad in the nursery-plants not children), and STILL felt home was "holiday".
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by NEILL THE NOTORIOUS »

The "Holidays" for myself, and many others, during the War were, in many ways ,"Tougher", since we, obvously were denied some of the things which are now taken for granted.
However, I can honestly say that we all looked forward to going "Home" -- even though, in some cases, it was as an Evacuee. Also the "Return" held some attrraction.
The point is, that it was DIFFERENT to life at School, and one did get "Spoiled", to a certain extent.
Don't forget, that at 14 most kids, in my area, were expected to go to work !
None of my immediate friends seemed to object to going back to CH and picking up on the DIFFERENT life there. Sport, Jokes, Elbows on the table and a different discipline.
Of course, there were bad experiences -- (Getting Caned !) but when that is part of "Life, as we know it Jim" it seemed a natural existence.
Perhaps we had fewer expectations, or, (In my case) were too thick to notice ! :oops:
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by ReallyMissingHer »

she's upped the anti, we're onto attention seeking behaviour. The joys of parenting!!!!! I think she has no idea that going to school locally would be hard just in different ways ie lack of social life, having me nag her about homework, time wasted on commuting, lack of sport & hobbies etc etc etc

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Anyway she knows she has to go back for another year. If there really are issues then will look at trying to get a place locally in order to give notice at Easter but I don't think any of the local schools actually have spaces anymore anyway.
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by icomefromalanddownunder »

ReallyMissingHer wrote: Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Anyway she knows she has to go back for another year. If there really are issues then will look at trying to get a place locally in order to give notice at Easter but I don't think any of the local schools actually have spaces anymore anyway.
I have been debating whether or not to suggest that you make absolutely sure that she really is just being difficult, and that it is in her best interests to return, but I see that you have, of course, done so.

I hated CH, left at the end of UV and studied for my A levels at a local high school (in South London).

However, I also remember my daughter demanding to be allowed to leave school as soon as she was legally old enough. (I don't actually know what age that is in South Australia). Anyway, she would have been about 14 when it all began. About 6 months later, one freezing winter's morning, I dropped her off at the Police stables for a week's work experience.

Picked her up at the end of Day 1, and was delighted to hear her muttering about how she fully intended to finish school, because she wasn't going to spend her working life being bossed around by some dumb bi!ch, just because said db had finished high school.

Gotta luv 'em.

xxx
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by NEILL THE NOTORIOUS »

icomefromalanddownunder wrote:
ReallyMissingHer wrote: Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Anyway she knows she has to go back for another year. If there really are issues then will look at trying to get a place locally in order to give notice at Easter but I don't think any of the local schools actually have spaces anymore anyway.
I have been debating whether or not to suggest that you make absolutely sure that she really is just being difficult, and that it is in her best interests to return, but I see that you have, of course, done so.

I hated CH, left at the end of UV and studied for my A levels at a local high school (in South London).

However, I also remember my daughter demanding to be allowed to leave school as soon as she was legally old enough. (I don't actually know what age that is in South Australia). Anyway, she would have been about 14 when it all began. About 6 months later, one freezing winter's morning, I dropped her off at the Police stables for a week's work experience.

Picked her up at the end of Day 1, and was delighted to hear her muttering about how she fully intended to finish school, because she wasn't going to spend her working life being bossed around by some dumb bi!ch, just because said db had finished high school.

Gotta luv 'em.

xxx
Yes --- My elder Son demanded to leave School at 17, and train as an Apprentice Trawler Officer in S. Africa (Where we lived ) Unfortunately he loved it -- the Weather and Storms in the S, Atlantic,the Whales, The weird Fish , trawled from the depths, the dangers etc etc.
He was then found to be colour blind (Red Green) not good for a Deck Officer !
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by blondie95 »

I imagine the whole not wanting to go back thing is common, I looked forward to it in some respects, seeing my friends but then in others i didnt-i always had an air of trepdiation as to what nastiness I would have to go through. BUT the good always outweighs the bad, and the first couple of hours/days when you see friends and hear about what you have all been up to helps settle you back in.

I suppose its the same for many of us after a couple of weeks holiday and that night before having to go back to work!
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by huggermugger »

How were things last night, RMH (and how are things with you this morning...) ?
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by J.R. »

Are the little 'Cherubs' back in the seat of learning now ?
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by ailurophile »

Are the little 'Cherubs' back in the seat of learning now ?
As of last night, though in our case I wondered whether we were going to make it… Every year our poor old jalopy gets more clapped out and the amount of luggage we cram into the boot/ onto the roof rack gets bigger (do the children really need to bring so many school books home during the holidays? They never seem to look at them!). I’ve recently read The Grapes of Wrath, and it struck a familiar chord; all we need to do is bung grandma up top on a mattress and we’d be there!
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by Fjgrogan »

In my time at Hertford we were only allowed to take one large suitcase and one attache case, which was then used during termtime to store school needlework in. However absolutely every stitch of clothing was supplied by the school, including underwear, nighties and dressing gowns (but not indoor shoes or hockey boots); also all bedding was supplied, none of these 'modern' duvets! Also, of course, the majority of parents did not own cars so whatever we took back to school we had to be able to carry ourselves on the train. In later years I have often watched in amazement as my husband would make a big fuss about packing to go away for the weekend, whilst my daughters would have no difficulty packing for a whole term. Unfortunately somewhere along the line I have lost the knack of minimal packing - I always seem to be carrying far too much luggage on the odd occasion when I do travel - the Guides may have taught me to 'pack light', but they also taught me to 'be prepared' so I tend to allow for every eventuality. Advancing age and a dodgy back has been making carrying luggage and shopping more difficult, so I have this morning purchased a shopping trolley; I then got carried away with the euphoria of being able to 'carry' things and went on a wild shopping spree, but had no difficulty carting it all home on the bus. A new era is obviously opening up1
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by NEILL THE NOTORIOUS »

Similar supplies to Frances ----- but I don't remember Nighties, or Dressing Gowns ! :lol:

Angela will, again, accuse me of being "Gender Orientated" :oops:
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by jhopgood »

I seem to remember that we packed everything, which was really only tuck and sports clothes, in a trunk, which was then sent by rail. During term time they were stored in the trunk room in the Tube.
The trunk was also used on the couple of times we went on a family holiday, poking out of the back of the boot of an A35. The boot would not close, I'm sure it would be totally illegal these days.
It then spent the last years of it's life as a toy box.
A suitcase doesn't seem to have the same versatility.
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Re: Not wanting to go back - is this common?

Post by Fjgrogan »

H'm, I wonder what happened to my college trunk - last heard of languishing in my brother's loft - that would indeed make a good toy box.
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