feeling very odd!

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kerrensimmonds
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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by kerrensimmonds » Sun Sep 12, 2010 5:09 pm

This is amazing in terms of a cultural change. When I went to CH in 1957 there were no e mails, no internet, no mobile phones. Apart from weekly letters which we wrote on Sundays (these were vetted before they went in the post) and replies from our parents (which we may have spotted on the shelf inside the House corridor first thing in the morning, but had to wait until the mid-morning break to receive/read them), we were totally on our own at school, with our next reunion with family being the first ''Long Saturday" which must have been 4-5 weeks into the term.
I am not sure that I/we felt disenfranchised or disadvantaged by the distancing from our families.
Having said that, goodness knows what effect this had on our parents (mine are long gone, so I cannot ask), but for us girls, we just accepted things and got on with life, stoically.
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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by J.R. » Sun Sep 12, 2010 6:07 pm

Sunday letter writing was the same at Horsham at the same time, but I have no recollection of censorship !
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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by DavidRawlins » Sun Sep 12, 2010 6:14 pm

One just had to write.
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kerrensimmonds
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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by kerrensimmonds » Sun Sep 12, 2010 6:31 pm

We had to leave the envelopes unsealed, so that the housemistress could check what we were saying to our parents. And letters to other people were even more subject to censorship, just in case the intended recipient was 'unsuitable'.
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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by Pixie » Sun Sep 12, 2010 6:52 pm

Because of all that Kerren has described we told our parents very little of our feelings when we started at the school. For me it was mind-numbing despair which I felt I couldn't share with anyone. I realise that the school environment is very different these days and there are plenty of opportunities for you new parents to gauge how your children are coping.
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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by anniexf » Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:12 pm

As Kerren and Pixie pointed out, the CH culture now is light-years away from what we Hertford old fogeys endured - and hurrah for that! But even temporary separation is hard to cope with, however much you tell yourself it's for the best of reasons, and I do sympathise with you "new" parents - the not-so-new too! - as you struggle to get used to it. Just count down the days until leave weekend - it'll be here sooner than you realise! :D

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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by midget » Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:25 pm

All letters had to be sent through your parents unsealed. I know that several girls wrote to "Dear Uncle ******" as long as their parents were willing to forward the letters, in fact one girl had a visit on Long Sat after her mother had written to Miss Norris to say that she approved a visit from "Uncle".
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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by juicymum » Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:46 pm

Thank you Yada Yada, feeling a bit better today :) .Have still got just the one email from DS. Was hoping to hear from Housemaster................ maybe tommorow.
I did not think it would be this difficult. Well only 12 days more to hear all the stories and what they have been up to.Just received a call from the housemaster. DS is doing very well and has settled in well. Hurray. I can have a good night's sleep for the next few days until I take elder son too to uni . :(

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Mid A 15
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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by Mid A 15 » Mon Sep 13, 2010 1:21 am

Well I'm not long back from dropping my youngest off in prior to her second year at uni.

One would think that after 7 years at boarding school myself plus experiencing two older children going through uni that I would take it all in my stride. However I can tell you that I don't! Why I don't know. Maybe it's because she is "the baby" and was there to distract me when the other two went away but all I know is that I miss her.
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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by CHDad » Mon Sep 13, 2010 7:26 am

juicymum wrote:Thank you Yada Yada, feeling a bit better today :) .Have still got just the one email from DS. Was hoping to hear from Housemaster................ maybe tommorow.
I did not think it would be this difficult. Well only 12 days more to hear all the stories and what they have been up to.Just received a call from the housemaster. DS is doing very well and has settled in well. Hurray. I can have a good night's sleep for the next few days until I take elder son too to uni . :(

I think that receiveing just one brief e.mail is a very good sign. If D.S was unhappy or not enjoying himself you would have received several long e.mails. I have received 3 or 4 very short e.mails now, however all of them convey the impression that he has frantically dashed in to send a quick message before getting on with enjoying himslef again!

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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by fra828 » Mon Sep 13, 2010 11:57 am

How nice to be 'eased' into boarding school life these days, rather than being 'thrown in' as we were! It still hurts to remember the aching homesickness that started from the moment that my mum left me on the first day at Hertford in Sept 1967. I hadn't set eyes on the place before, it was all so strange. Nothing fun to help you settle in, you just had to accept it, or run away! When you started to make friends, it did get easier. And whether it made us stronger people for having no contact with home at all (apart from letters) for weeks is debatable- what does anyone else from previous eras think?!

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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by wurzel » Mon Sep 13, 2010 1:22 pm

My mum still points out that in 7 years she received 3 letters from me - 1 after 1 week, 1 2 weeks into 2nd term and a note under the windscreen wiper when taking my half brother to the nursery next to the tuck shop (we only lived 3 miles away) saying."run out of tuck and money - can I have chocolate biscuits and £5 on leave day please"

My phoning also was at <once a week

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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by SAS » Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:20 pm

YadaYada wrote:Hope you are feeling better today JuicyMum. I seem to remember shedding a tear or 2 most days for the first 3 weeks. It's part of the process I think.

My son texts and calls everyday and I have had a postcard this week too. He's Third Form and loving it. Not ALL boys are uncommunicative!!
Thank GOD ours are friends! Otherwise I would know nothing!x

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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by CHDad » Tue Sep 21, 2010 4:51 am

Well only 3 full days to go now before Friday and the start of leave weekend. It has been easier to get used to than I thought mainly because D.S seems to be enjoying himself so much. In jest several people have suggested to me that it is probably his Housemaster sending the e.mails as they are so positive! It now seems a very long time since we last saw our son which seems strange. I also know that this weekend is going to rush past and before I know it I will be driving him back on Sunday eve, that will be difficult but at least he will have a telephone this time to keep in contact.

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Re: feeling very odd!

Post by englishangel » Tue Sep 21, 2010 8:47 am

CHDad, I think you will also probably find your son seems to have grown-up about 3 years in the past 3 weeks, until possibly Sunday evening when he goes back to being 4 years old. Enjoy the weekend.
"If a man speaks, and there isn't a woman to hear him, is he still wrong?"

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