The Morning After

Area for current parents, past parents and future parents of Blues or Old Blues.

Moderator: Moderators

Tinkerbell
2nd Former
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2011 9:39 pm

The Morning After

Post by Tinkerbell » Thu Sep 08, 2011 8:55 am

Hello, I was just wondering how everyone is feeling? I haven't been able to bring myself to go into my son bedroom. I've just been sitting here doing...... well, nothing...... I knew yesterday when I left him at CH it was the best thing ever and what an amazing privilege and opportunity it was but this morning my heart is so heavy I cant even move.
Tink

cupcakemom
GE (Great Erasmus)
Posts: 120
Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2010 12:59 pm
Real Name: Sophie Winship (nee Mourilyan)

Re: The Morning After

Post by cupcakemom » Thu Sep 08, 2011 9:20 am

Hey Tink - for once I can say with authority "I know how you feel". I also haven't been into my dd's room and know I have to at some stage - it looks like a bomb site and there's bound to be festering food in there somewhere! I was SO proud of her yesterday - she looked so wonderful in her uniform - like she'd been wearing it for years ... socks down and arms linked with her nursemaid! I have been given a piece of advice to help cope which I think has helped me ... look at it in three week bites ... not by half term, term or longer. It's just two and a half weeks and they're home. I think what Mr Franklin said yesterday was true - it's tougher on us than them. They're having a blast! The waves of absolute loss I feel I know will become fewer and fewer .... soon, hopefully!
Never underestimate the power of a Mummy!

Ineedacoffee
3rd Former
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 10:34 am

Re: The Morning After

Post by Ineedacoffee » Thu Sep 08, 2011 9:45 am

Oh Tinkerbell, my poor baby. Just know your son is having an incredibly busy and fun day today. A more inspiring day than he would ever have at home. I got a quick glance at today's schedule which included morning classes, lunch with the matrons and a swimming assessment. It is much more quiet here at home, but any sadness gets swept away by the knowledge that not only will dd's brain be challenged, but she will become more physically fit and will undoubtedly flourish in the sisterhood environment. The older students are such a carrot for me. I mean they all seem so incredibly friendly, helpful and lovely. I like the thought of my dd having those girls as role models. I am sure it is not all roses, but it seems like such a thriving environment managed with expertise by the house mistresses/masters and matrons.
My concerns are that dd can be organised in all departments so that she can benefit from what's on offer.
I know I am just blabbing on, but these are the thoughts swimming around in my head this morning. It was suggested to parents yesterday to write letters. Not only do the dd's and dss love letters, but it is prob very therapeutic for parents as well.
I'd say that yesterday was a bit rushed. Just a bit. I would have liked another 10 min or so just to go over a few things with dd, but I guess I always walk away from CH feeling this way. It is such a well oiled machine. It scoops up the very willing and excited 2nd formers and gets on it's way. I guess that's the way it should be.
Good thoughts and big hugs to you tinkerbell. X

Katharine
Button Grecian
Posts: 2937
Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2005 10:44 pm
Real Name: Katharine Dobson
Location: Gwynedd

Re: The Morning After

Post by Katharine » Thu Sep 08, 2011 9:52 am

All good wishes to you all experiencing the morning after. I was not a CH parent but was a parent of children at boarding school and can still well remember the first few days/weeks. It will hit you at all sorts of times, times you thought were capable and coping, perhaps when in the supermarket and see something that child particularly loved/hated. Other times you will be uplifted by thoughts and comments of others. You will get through! It is harder on you than them, though they may tell you otherwise after three weeks!

Love and empathy to all experiencing the morning after today, come and cry here, there are plenty of shoulders here.
Katharine Dobson (Hills) 6.14, 1959 - 1965
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia!

Volupturaptor
GE (Great Erasmus)
Posts: 187
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:14 pm
Real Name: Suzy
Location: Devon

Re: The Morning After

Post by Volupturaptor » Thu Sep 08, 2011 10:16 am

Oh dear... I've just had a call from the health centre to say that my daughter is there as she has been sick a couple of times. I'm pretty sure it's just "nervous tummy" as it's not unusual when she is nevous/excited for her to be this way. I even suspect that it was the case when she had to leave the residential assessment early due to illness, as that too was sickness, and she recovered nicely on the way home!

Me, I'm fine, life goes on as normal here. It's not unusual for her to be away from home for the odd couple of days here and there, and I still have baby to look after, but I felt quite sick myself on the way home after leaving her yesterday...

lonelymom
Button Grecian
Posts: 1767
Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2007 10:56 am
Location: Maidstone, Kent

Re: The Morning After

Post by lonelymom » Thu Sep 08, 2011 11:05 am

Hi, I know you're all feeling really low, I felt the same - both times (hence my user name). I missed my girls like mad, still do, and they're in their 5th and 3rd year now. But you do get used to it, I promise! Not sure if any of yours are in Barnes B, but when I texted my youngest yesterday afternoon to see what she was up to, she said her and her friend were chatting to the new second formers, and that they were all lovely! :D
lonelymom :rolleyes:

cupcakemom
GE (Great Erasmus)
Posts: 120
Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2010 12:59 pm
Real Name: Sophie Winship (nee Mourilyan)

Re: The Morning After

Post by cupcakemom » Thu Sep 08, 2011 11:23 am

BARNES B!! That's us!! What a great bunch of girls! My dd's nursemaid did a brilliant job yesterday - I had my dd wrapped up in my arms in floods in the dining hall yesterday after Mr Franklin said his bit. I was in floods too so just indicated to her nursemaid to take her back to the house ... she did it so kindly - making some joke about whether my dd could get back into her skinny jeans! When I left I could see them all walking back to the house in a little gang - laughing, messing around and just having a giggle. Makes it so much easier knowing she's in kind hands.
Never underestimate the power of a Mummy!

lonelymom
Button Grecian
Posts: 1767
Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2007 10:56 am
Location: Maidstone, Kent

Re: The Morning After

Post by lonelymom » Thu Sep 08, 2011 11:25 am

Cupcakemom, I think I've just remembered that your daughter is in Barnes B? If so, she was definitely okay yesterday afternoon :) x
lonelymom :rolleyes:

lonelymom
Button Grecian
Posts: 1767
Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2007 10:56 am
Location: Maidstone, Kent

Re: The Morning After

Post by lonelymom » Thu Sep 08, 2011 11:26 am

Our messages just overlapped. They're a lovely bunch of girls, she'll be absolutely fine, promise :) x
lonelymom :rolleyes:

pinkhebe
Deputy Grecian
Posts: 455
Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:57 am
Real Name: Helen
Location: Brighton

Re: The Morning After

Post by pinkhebe » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:39 pm

Actually it's my younger ds who's struggled the most, he was in floods last night and this morning, which has meant that I haven't concentrated on how I'm feeling!

But knitted Housey Frog went to school with him and he's much better now (helped by the 2 friends he has round :lol: )

I don't think my son will be able to find ANYTHING though, and I had to write to tell him that I hadn't unpacked his postcards and tell him where they were (If only we'd been told they could have mobile phones BEFORE yesterday :roll: )

Ineedacoffee
3rd Former
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 10:34 am

Re: The Morning After

Post by Ineedacoffee » Thu Sep 08, 2011 4:02 pm

Volupturaptor - I hope dd is on the mend from a nervous/excited belly! Sorry that I didn't say goodbye to you yesterday! Meant to, but then before I knew it we were racing for the train! Lots of good vibes to you, your dd and everyone else on this forum! XO

Volupturaptor
GE (Great Erasmus)
Posts: 187
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:14 pm
Real Name: Suzy
Location: Devon

Re: The Morning After

Post by Volupturaptor » Thu Sep 08, 2011 4:09 pm

I think we were all probably somewhat preoccupied with our own thoughts!
I'm sure she'll be fine...

Tinkerbell
2nd Former
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2011 9:39 pm

Re: The Morning After

Post by Tinkerbell » Thu Sep 08, 2011 4:16 pm

Volupturaptor wrote:Oh dear... I've just had a call from the health centre to say that my daughter is there as she has been sick a couple of times. I'm pretty sure it's just "nervous tummy" as it's not unusual when she is nevous/excited for her to be this way. I even suspect that it was the case when she had to leave the residential assessment early due to illness, as that too was sickness, and she recovered nicely on the way home!

Me, I'm fine, life goes on as normal here. It's not unusual for her to be away from home for the odd couple of days here and there, and I still have baby to look after, but I felt quite sick myself on the way home after leaving her yesterday...
Dear Volupturaptor.... how awful for both you and your daughter! Nerves can be so difficult to deal with and present themselves in a variety of ways. I do hope your daughter settles soon and that you are okay. At least you have your baby to distract you!



Hello peeps.... thank you all so much for your lovely replies full of reassurance. I know over time it will get better and I will get used to it, but I'm not sure I want to get used to it. It's like an emotional roller-coaster..... for a while earlier I had forgotten and hadn't thought about him and now I feel guilty because I've forgotten him already! It's really hard as my husband is away on business and even though people ask how you are and nod and say how they understand.... actually they don't.... but you all do...... and I keep re-reading all the replies! Luckily my daughter is so supportive. They were so close to each other and I worry for her. She misses him but she keeps her emotions well hidden. Yesterday she was at school and she went to the school office to ask permission to phone him to say goodbye. I know it was hard for them both. We used to play silly car games like spotting post boxes and if there was a litter bin next to it then you lost points or spotting a Mini as in the car.... and now I keep seeing post boxes and Minis everywhere and I feel like my heart will break. I'm so scared he'll grow distant from me. Someone had said to me nearly 2 years ago when we first considered CH how children at boarding schools grow apart from their parents and siblings and it's playing on my mind. He was so different yesterday....... and I don't know if I'm more worried that he wont miss us or that he will!

Tink

Tinkerbell
2nd Former
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2011 9:39 pm

Re: The Morning After

Post by Tinkerbell » Thu Sep 08, 2011 4:28 pm

pinkhebe wrote:Actually it's my younger ds who's struggled the most, he was in floods last night and this morning, which has meant that I haven't concentrated on how I'm feeling!

But knitted Housey Frog went to school with him and he's much better now (helped by the 2 friends he has round :lol: )

I don't think my son will be able to find ANYTHING though, and I had to write to tell him that I hadn't unpacked his postcards and tell him where they were (If only we'd been told they could have mobile phones BEFORE yesterday :roll: )
Hi Pinkhebe, its so very hard for the siblings left behind...... its the same here only my daughter wont cry she just goes very quiet and withdraws. Maybe its her age shes 13 and a half now. I'm not sure which one would be better! My son virtually moved into her room over the summer holidays with a crash bed squashed up next to her bed! They said it was because they wanted to be together..... actually I think it was so they could play on their DS's till all hours and get straight back on them in the morning!!!

I hope he starts to feel better soon.... only 15 sleeps to go!!!

Tink xx

lonelymom
Button Grecian
Posts: 1767
Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2007 10:56 am
Location: Maidstone, Kent

Re: The Morning After

Post by lonelymom » Thu Sep 08, 2011 6:21 pm

Tinkerbell wrote:I'm so scared he'll grow distant from me. Someone had said to me nearly 2 years ago when we first considered CH how children at boarding schools grow apart from their parents and siblings and it's playing on my mind. He was so different yesterday....... and I don't know if I'm more worried that he wont miss us or that he will!
I don't think it's true that they grow apart from us at all. I think it's just that they grow up very quickly - I know my two are much more mature than the kids round here that they went to school with. Also, they form extremely close friendships at CH, they work/eat/sleep/socialise together for 3 weeks at a time, and that is something that must be unique to boarding school. I know my eldest misses her friends so much when she's home! So I don't think they grow apart from us, they still love us and need us, but they also love and need their friends too.
lonelymom :rolleyes:

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest