Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

Happy Birthday to all those of you with one born on Nov 6th! Going to see mine on her 14th tomorrow and cannot wait. x

Have a lovely day - I hope the weather remains dry!

Will hopefully see you both down there!
It is hard when they have birthdays at school.

I will hopefully be at C.H as well, Happy Birthday to your daughter!

are any children going to be there? We're also going

Happy birthday to all the birthday girls and boys

Happy birthday to my dd's lovely room-mate too - another Nov 6th birthday

My DD and BOTH her squits are Nov 6th - a busy day in Thornton A but lots of cakes and sweets!!! Great concert, lovely lunch at the Queen's Head (thanks to YadaYada and L for help with singing!!); just wish it was a bit nearer.

yesterday was also the birthday of my sister in law and her son!

It's my DD's birthday on the 17th, we are fortunate enough to live a stones throw away. We thought we would drop a birthday cake round to the house despite them coming home the next day, in fact she's placed her order already. I also thought it might be nice to get some doughnuts or the like for the house but I'm now wondering if that's appropriate.

Any thoughts?

P

Pibble wrote:It's my DD's birthday on the 17th, we are fortunate enough to live a stones throw away. We thought we would drop a birthday cake round to the house despite them coming home the next day, in fact she's placed her order already. I also thought it might be nice to get some doughnuts or the like for the house but I'm now wondering if that's appropriate.

Any thoughts?

P

A nice though.
She`ll certainly have lots of friends if you buy for the whole house!!
I`m sure they won`t complain!

I feel a bit rotten reading all these posts as, much as I might want to, I just can't afford a birthday visit to my child, or treats for their friends or house. I remember, when they first started at CH and a matron cheerfully suggested that it was always fine if I wanted to come up to school at weekends and take the child out for a meal (not so easy without a car anyway), thinking how totally out of our means that kind of thing was. I'm just wondering now if this kind of birthday celebration is a relatively new thing at the school or if there's always been this sort of obvious gap between the people who can manage visits and treats and those who can't? Don't get me wrong - I think it's lovely for the people who can do it and part of my feeling rotten is nothing more than plain old jealousy, but on a more general note I worry that as the number of full-fee payers at the school increase then so will the ways in which the differences in background among the children at the school become more marked. I know I'm not the only one who loves CH for the sense of equality that it can give to children from poor backgrounds and I do think it'd be a shame if this quality were to be lost.

Antinous

Antinous1 wrote:I feel a bit rotten reading all these posts as, much as I might want to, I just can't afford a birthday visit to my child, or treats for their friends or house. I remember, when they first started at CH and a matron cheerfully suggested that it was always fine if I wanted to come up to school at weekends and take the child out for a meal (not so easy without a car anyway), thinking how totally out of our means that kind of thing was. I'm just wondering now if this kind of birthday celebration is a relatively new thing at the school or if there's always been this sort of obvious gap between the people who can manage visits and treats and those who can't? Don't get me wrong - I think it's lovely for the people who can do it and part of my feeling rotten is nothing more than plain old jealousy, but on a more general note I worry that as the number of full-fee payers at the school increase then so will the ways in which the differences in background among the children at the school become more marked. I know I'm not the only one who loves CH for the sense of equality that it can give to children from poor backgrounds and I do think it'd be a shame if this quality were to be lost.

Antinous

Hi Antinous please don't feel rotten, I should have thought through my post first. We are very lucky in that we are very close to the school and can visit, I'm also very aware that most parents can't just pop in over a weekend and to that end we always try to visit when we know our DD will be with others, getting ready to march in for lunch on a Saturday, or if there is a house match on, so that we can say hi and chat with them as well, if they want too that is. I'm not sure that this makes much difference to the kids but it seems to be the right thing to do.

I very much understand how cost prohibitive life is and normally I wouldn't be able to consider such a thing but I've been lucky this month and feel able to share in what would be a rare treat. But perhaps this urge was more for my benefit than anyone else and perhaps some attempt at appeasing my guilt for the home sickness she is struggling with. Does that make sense.

We too are so often unable to flourish gifts on our kids and so when I hear of new friends with second homes, ponies and the like my heart breaks a little because I can't offer her anything like those things. However, she never seems jealous and doesn't seem to have been singled out as the 'poor friend'.

I think in any school environment there will be a sense of haves and have nots which is more apparent to us as parents when we can't get the latest what ever is in fashion this week for our kids and perhaps in a boarding school environment the difference is more stark, but again I suspect that this is only really obvious to us parents. Kids see beyond socio-economic/ cultural/ religious etc barriers far better than we do and I'm sure that the housey and a sense of 'we're in this together' really helps with that.

I know it wasn't your intention but I'm sorry if my comments were upsetting I really hadn't intended to make anyone feel rotten as I've felt the same when I've read some posts on other threads and I'd hate to think I've done the same thing to someone else.

P

Sorry, Pibble! I really wasn't complaining about you (or anyone else), I was just having one of those "everybody but me can ....." moments - I get them when the newsletters arrive from school too with their tempting concerts and plays and suchlike. Childish, I know, and in fact I think you are probably right and our children mind less about what they haven't got than we do on their behalf. Housey is a wonderful equaliser and I would fight tooth and nail to preserve it for that reason alone.

Birthdays are very odd with the child not actually there, aren't they?

Antinous

Hi Antinous1,

Please don't feel bad. I can assure you that for SAS and I visiting CH is a rare treat - we both live up in Lincolnshire and petrol costs are horrendous. It's not something I take for granted at all.

The boarding houses organise cakes for birthday students so there is no expectation that the parent provides anything like that - I certainly didn't last year when DS had his birthday in school. I also didn't go and see him on his birthday or go down especially for the weekend before it.

I guess I'm lucky in that DS2 was a summer baby, so is always at home for birthdays (although, according to last week's news, his August birth might disadvantage him in numerous other ways... Oh well, I imagine his chances of captaining England at football were always going to be remote!). DS1, who is now at school locally, will be 18 later this month (and don't we know it!!). While he was at CH we always tried to visit on the Sunday nearest his birthday and take him out to lunch, but TBH I sometimes got the feeling he was itching to get back to his mates.

Antinous1, don't feel bad. You're doing your very best for your son, and I'm sure that to him you're the most wonderful mum in the world!