The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

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Angela Pratt
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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by Angela Pratt » Tue Jul 16, 2013 10:00 am

Am I the only person who loved it at Hertford? I thought all of us did and was amazed when on this website I heard so many didn't (tho' not my close friends..).As an ex-teacher I know things in school are not always pleasing to pupils, but so many of you have awful stories of how you felt for lots of the time, Hertford and Horsham.(And of course there were 7 of us in my family at both!)

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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by Fjgrogan » Tue Jul 16, 2013 12:04 pm

Angela - did all seven of you love it? Perhaps your parents had a better understanding of things than mine did. In any dispute my parents would always side with the school against me; I think they were very conscious of how lucky we were to get all that 'charitable benevolence' and keen not to offend anyone! I was one of those children who, having been punished at school, would then be punished again at home for being punished at school!! Plus they never realised that a child who is top of the class at primary school will inevitably slip down the ratings once he/she is in competitiion with others who were also top of the primary school class. In their eyes I stopped trying once I got to CH.
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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by Katharine » Tue Jul 16, 2013 2:05 pm

I certainly have far more happy memories than others of my time in Hertford.

Had I had a different Housemistress things may have been very different ...., even more happy memories!!
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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by Fjgrogan » Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:42 pm

Katharine - if we had had a different housemistress I would probably have been perfectly happy at Hertford. To this day I still blame that woman personally for destroying my self-confidence; unfortunately I have since heard from several other members of staff that they felt obliged to agree with her - it was not the done thing for staff to speak out against other members of staff! In a less strictly enclosed institution it would not have mattered so much, but we had no contact with the outside world - no telephones even, no e-mail, Facebook, texts etc, just a weekly letter which was liable to be read by the housemistress. Institutional bullying! Perhaps I shouldn't have been such a sensitive soul!!
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Angela Pratt
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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by Angela Pratt » Wed Jul 17, 2013 10:50 am

Sounds like I was lucky in 8's with my housemistresses....never really got into trouble or had any punishments (or perhaps was never found out!). Yes all 7 0f us liked it most of the time. I was the only one of us who went a bit downhill academically. I got into teachers training college but only a certificate in those days and I'm the only one of the 7 of us without a degree!

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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by rockfreak » Wed Jul 30, 2014 7:12 pm

Nick's latest book is called Wounded Leaders and in it he concentrates much more on the effect of early boarding on our national leaders. He claims that the need to survive and compete at boarding school can have a downside later in life with an absence of the emotional and empathetic qualities. The "survivor" has had to build a protective skin early in life and is hothoused into adulthood too early. This is perhaps more applicable to the Eton and Harrow type schools than at CH, but Duffel claims that it can be disastrous since statesmen need all sorts of skills these days. You can see what he means when, for instance, David Cameron is denied permission to bomb Syria, but instead of accepting the democratic will, he goes purple in the face, bangs the dispatch box and shouts, "all right, I GET it," like a child who's had his sweets taken away. Or Boris Johnson, under questioning from the opposition at the London assembly, who can't think of a ready answer and shouts, "rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb!" Pure Greyfriars/Bunter. Whenever I see these people; Cameron, Osborne, Johnson, Hunt (head boy at Charterhouse) I'm always reminded of the head of house conducting evening prayers; the smooth assurance, the "entitlement illusion" as Nick Duffel calls it. In my life I've had my own wife and girlfriends tell me that I'm self-contained and hard to know. Is this a product of early boarding? Nick Duffel says that his mailbag since he started conducting his investigations has thrown up some fascinating stuff.

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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by Angela Woodford » Tue Aug 05, 2014 1:02 pm

Angela ... Katharine ... Shouldn't we be debating "happiness at Hertford" in the Hertford Memories section? That's where so many of us have written in detail of our experiences. My downfall and deterioration I feel sad about - entirely to my failure to cope with senior bullying and peer rejection. I feel the greatest regret at DR's 'A' and 'B' streaming system. Disaster!
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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by Angela Pratt » Wed Aug 06, 2014 11:41 am

Well yes my Happy Hertford does include some happy memories!

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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by J.R. » Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:01 pm

Angela Pratt wrote:Well yes my Happy Hertford does include some happy memories!

Much like Horsham.

There werre some miserable days and some fantastic days.
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.

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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by Angela Woodford » Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:17 pm

Angela Pratt wrote:Well yes my Happy Hertford does include some happy memories!
But only 21 "happy " posts.

The older I've got, the more happy memories I have. Maybe it's because I've resigned to acknowledging that I was way behind the general standard of cleverness, late in life. I deeply resented the general view that I was the comedy person of the time. But I couldn't resist being funny.

No careers advice! That was the awful thing.
"Baldrick, you wouldn't recognise a cunning plan if it painted itself purple, and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing "Cunning plans are here again.""

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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by J.R. » Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:27 pm

Angela Woodford wrote:
Angela Pratt wrote:Well yes my Happy Hertford does include some happy memories!
But only 21 "happy " posts.

The older I've got, the more happy memories I have. Maybe it's because I've resigned to acknowledging that I was way behind the general standard of cleverness, late in life. I deeply resented the general view that I was the comedy person of the time. But I couldn't resist being funny.

No careers advice! That was the awful thing.

There's a good reason for that, Angela. It's a known fact that the older you get, the more your brain tends to remember the good times and blur the bad times.

I can say that with some confidence being somewhat more senior than you. :shock:
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.

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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by Angela Pratt » Thu Aug 14, 2014 11:20 am

Presumably I am the same age as you JR and our memories similarly efficient, but both more mature than Angela Woodford.....

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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by sejintenej » Thu Aug 14, 2014 3:30 pm

J.R. wrote:
There's a good reason for that, Angela. It's a known fact that the older you get, the more your brain tends to remember the good times and blur the bad times.

I can say that with some confidence being somewhat more senior than you. :shock:
I understood that the brain has a filter to hide the bad things; just think what you would be like if you had vivid memories of everything nasty that has happened to you. Such a filter keeps you sane though too many bad things (like war) can overstretch the filters.
It is hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by Fjgrogan » Thu Aug 14, 2014 6:14 pm

I can't say it works for me! Angela Pratt and I were the same year at Hertford - she remembers all the good stuff and I remember all the bad, but I tend to do that about life in general anyway!!
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Angela Pratt
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Re: The Making of Them by Nick Duffel

Post by Angela Pratt » Fri Aug 15, 2014 11:16 am

Perhaps I was a pratt......!

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