Any other CH parents here?

lonelymom · Post by **lonelymom** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 11:44 am

My child has just joined Second Form at CH too. I've found this site really useful over the past couple of months while I was preparing myself for the inevitable separation process. It's an awful thing to go through but everybody keeps telling me that the children love it there, it's the parents who have a bad time accepting it. I just have to keep telling myself that it's a wonderful opportunity and it's only for 7 years! (to be honest, it'll probably take me that long to get used to it).

I'm just wondering how I'll feel when the first leave weekend comes to an end and I have to say goodbye again. It was hard enough the first time.

What a school though! I'm totally in awe of it and still can't quite believe that my child is there.

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 11:52 am

Welcome to the site. I expect by now you will have had time to look at some of the threads on here - Some serious and some far less serious.

There are plenty of people on here than can help and advise from pupils, Old Blues and people connected to the CH Staff, so don't be frightened of asking !

lonelymom · Post by **lonelymom** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:34 pm

Thanks JR. I have had a look at lots of threads already. It makes me (and I'm sure most other new parents) feel much happier when we receive helpful advice and tips from past pupils, and hear about your happy years at CH!

cj · Post by cj » Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:48 pm

lonelymom

Don't be sad - you won't have the daily hassle of the traumatic teenage years, with hordes of uninvited hormonal youths and youthesses trailing through your house and emptying the fridge, except when they are invited in the holidays!

lonelymom · Post by **lonelymom** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:58 pm

Thanks for the reply. Funnily enough, I miss all the friends too - especially at weekends when I've normally got at least one extra child sleeping in my house, sometimes two or three. The house seems so quiet, although I'm sure it'll be made up for on leave weekends and holidays.

I think this first 3 weeks is the most difficult because there is no phone contact allowed. I can understand the reasons behind it, but it is extremely hard.

But, as you say, I won't have to deal with the teenage moans and groans!

Can I ask you something? As an Old Blue yourself, would you consider sending your child to CH?

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:04 pm

As a grand-father, I'd be happy for any of our Grand-Children to go.

As a father of two daughters in the 70's - No !!

lonelymom · Post by **lonelymom** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:08 pm

J.R. wrote:As a grand-father, I'd be happy for any of our Grand-Children to go.

As a father of two daughters in the 70's - No !!

Why wouldn't you have wanted your daughters to go there? If you don't mind me asking?

Katharine · Post by **Katharine** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:11 pm

I would have been very happy for mine to have gone (I am a second generation Blue, and one of my nieces went as well). As we worked overseas, we felt we had to make arrangements early for them and not wait until the previous year.

lonelymom · Post by **lonelymom** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:20 pm

Thanks Katharine. I think if past pupils would happily let their own children go to CH it is the best recommendation you can get.

I'm sure one day I'll get used to being asked why I've 'sent' my child away. I feel I have to keep justifying myself to other people, who probably don't believe me when I say that it wasn't my decision, I let my 11 year-old choose. Of course, I was ecstatic when the choice was made, but I would never have 'sent' my child away.

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:21 pm

lonelymom wrote:
J.R. wrote:As a grand-father, I'd be happy for any of our Grand-Children to go.

As a father of two daughters in the 70's - No !!
Why wouldn't you have wanted your daughters to go there? If you don't mind me asking?

A very long story. It took me many many years to get over the trauma of being shunted off to boarding school - almost as if I'd been abandoned for weeks and weeks by my Mother. In those days there were no leave weekends - No half terms and you were only allowed three visits a term, for Saturday afternoons. I suppose as an adult, I rebelled against this sort of schooling.

Things have changed and are now far more relaxed.

I'm Mrs C would confirm that I often moan that the standards at CH are now possibly TOO relaxed.

Then again - With a new Headmaster ????

lonelymom · Post by **lonelymom** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:34 pm

J.R. wrote:A very long story. It took me many many years to get over the trauma of being shunted off to boarding school - almost as if I'd been abandoned for weeks and weeks by my Mother. In those days there were no leave weekends - No half terms and you were only allowed three visits a term, for Saturday afternoons. I suppose as an adult, I rebelled against this sort of schooling.

Things have changed and are now far more relaxed.

I'm Mrs C would confirm that I often moan that the standards at CH are now possibly TOO relaxed.

Then again - With a new Headmaster ????

It certainly does seem to have changed a lot JR, and all I can say is that if it hadn't there is NO WAY I would have been able to wave goodbye to my daughter on that first day. I would have missed her too much! Three weeks is definitely long enough for me. I'm glad things have changed!!

Katharine · Post by **Katharine** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:50 pm

lonelymom wrote:It certainly does seem to have changed a lot JR, and all I can say is that if it hadn't there is NO WAY I would have been able to wave goodbye to my daughter on that first day. I would have missed her too much! Three weeks is definitely long enough for me. I'm glad things have changed!!

Lonely Mom if you look at this thread viewtopic.php?t=2336 you will see that I had to do just that when mine were only 8. Perhaps I should say that we chose to do that, rather than that we had to. If John was to stay in the British Council doing a job that we both believed in, and thought essential, we had to face the fact that the best and most consistent education for our sons would come from boarding school in Britain. It may have helped me that I had been a boarder myself. It was never easy.

lonelymom · Post by **lonelymom** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 2:09 pm

Katherine, I know every parent has to make hard decisions about their child's upbringing, and we all do what we think is for the best, don't we? And we just hope we made the right decision! Maybe it did help that you knew what boarding life was like. I wonder whether my future grandchildren will be CH pupils.......

I don't suppose it will ever get any easier waving my daughter off, but at least I know she's safe there. I failed abysmally on the 'don't cry in front of your child, save it till you get in the car' request, and I've no doubt I'll fail time and time again. At least I wasn't the only one in tears, there were mums, dads, grannies and grandads crying everywhere!

cj · Post by cj » Sat Sep 15, 2007 4:59 pm

lonelymom wrote:Can I ask you something? As an Old Blue yourself, would you consider sending your child to CH?

If I felt that my girls needed/would enjoy the education and community that was provided at CH, and if things had changed sufficiently from my day in terms of the pastoral care, then I might consider it. But my little one is only 3, so that day is far off, and the other one is 13, happily settled at her secondary school and we are pleased with her development there. She'd probably get on well as a new Dep, but she always says she wouldn't want to go away.

cj · Post by cj » Sat Sep 15, 2007 5:06 pm

lonelymom wrote:Katherine, I know every parent has to make hard decisions about their child's upbringing, and we all do what we think is for the best, don't we? And we just hope we made the right decision!

I was speaking to someone about the insecurities and worries of being a parent recently, and she rightly pointed out that you are never going to get it right all the time, and you will never make a perfect job of it. Most of us are trying our hardest to do our best for them and they will never realise that until they have children of their own. And if the decision you make about something is not the right one, then you do have the power to change it.