Help for Parents and future pupils?

sejintenej · Post by **sejintenej** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:33 pm

Reading the "Any Other CH Parents here? thread it seems that the thread has been of help to Huggermugger and lonelymom. We have previously had visits from parents considering when sending their offspring to CH so you are not alone.
Equally and on the other side of the equation, her thread (which she had the courage to start) seems to have helped Gemma to understand and actually look forward to going to CH. She is not the first "future" pupil to post questions and (I hope) get honest straightforward answers so it seems there is a latent demand for knowledge.
Importantly, for my purposes here, there has been nothing in the threads referred to which anyone could reasonably consider as improperly detrimental.

A thought; do those named three specifically and everyone else in general think that an introduction to the Forum might be useful to parents considering sending their offspring to CH and to the offspring when presented with the fact that CH is where they will be going (either like it or lump it!).

I accept fully that it is a matter for Julian to decide (and the number of hits on the site may increase overheads) but if there is a resounding positive response then perhaps suitable keywords can be put on say Google which would point aspiring parents / pupils to these threads or even an introduction page designed for them.
I also accept that it is unlikely that the school would include a pointer to us in literature sent to aspiring parents / presenters though I do note that we get an Honourable Mention on the CHA site

It appears important to consider whether we would be usurping over the CHA's job? To me that is uncertain.
a) The Forum is headlined "Unofficial" which is pretty clear
b) IF it is the CHA function (or that of another august body) is it able to carry out / carrying out such function as well as might be?
c) The Forum seeks not to work against the interests of the school and the CHA - the Forum can be positive or it can be neutral and I think it succeeds well in this aim.
d) The CHA "seems" understaffed and those there do not have the breadth of experience of nearly 100 active and nearly 900 members in all.
e) However willing she may be, I cannot imagine Wendy being allowed to write unfettered about so many aspects of CH life with such clarity and openness and with the immediacy of answering that this Forum can offer.

Your thoughts please.

Can we get some lurkers involved please? Some of you might well be would-be / current parents of CH pupils or pupils who went to the school and are only now discovering what Gemma discovered months ago. Is the Forum or has it been of help to YOU and how?

David

lonelymom · Post by **lonelymom** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:00 pm

Hi sejintenej

I was a 'lurker' for quite a few months before I posted a comment on a thread. I actually found the website from a Google search one day when I couldn't remember the CH website addy.

I probably wouldn't have joined if I hadn't seen the title of the thread which was clearly aimed at current parents rather than past pupils. Until that point I thought all the postings were from Old Blues.

I think it would be very useful to other new parents to know of this forum's existence. Even better would be to give out Mrs C's email addy to all new parents because she knows EVERYTHING!

Momto2 · Post by **Momto2** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:14 pm

I agree with lonelymum - I've actually had one child at CH for 4 years and one for 2 years but it was only really Huggermugger's original post that prompted me to come out of the woodwork as I assumed that most members were Old Blues.

Again, I found the site by googling and I do think it would be very useful for new/existing parents to be aware of this site.

Mrs C. · Post by **Mrs C.** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:32 pm

lonelymom wrote:I think it would be very useful to other new parents to know of this forum's existence. Even better would be to give out Mrs C's email addy to all new parents because she knows EVERYTHING!

ermm... I don`t think so!

sejintenej · Post by **sejintenej** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:47 pm

lonelymom wrote:Hi sejintenej

I was a 'lurker' for quite a few months before I posted a comment on a thread. I actually found the website from a Google search one day when I couldn't remember the CH website addy.

I probably wouldn't have joined if I hadn't seen the title of the thread which was clearly aimed at current parents rather than past pupils. Until that point I thought all the postings were from Old Blues.

I think it would be very useful to other new parents to know of this forum's existence. Even better would be to give out Mrs C's email addy to all new parents because she knows EVERYTHING!

Firstly, apologies to Momto2 for not referring to her also - my oversight and I grovel at her feet (metaphoricaly of course).

lonelymom (perhaps not so lonely now you have found us

):

Sorry; I have to disagree about publicising the email address of Mrs C - or anyone else's for that matter.
Mrs C is a busy lady and if the idea were to catch on:
a) she could easily be overwhelmed
b) she might not want the responsibility
c) she sees things from one perspective and could be "blamed" if her views are not those of her husband's employer; with a large number of Forum posters, each with a different perspective plus moderators who can and will step in if needs be there is less fear of retaliation (even if fear is unwarranted).
d) she is more than capable of posting IF she thinks a wrong message is being sent or when/if she considers it appropriate.
e) she is able to pm or email a prospective parent / pupil if SHE considers it appropriate; we shouldn't force it on her.
e) she is likely to move on in due course whilst there will (hopefully) always be posters on this forum; JR and I might be pushing up the daisies but there will be others more than capable of filling our shoes (or football boots)

You happened to see the title of the thread which is exactly why I suggested a page specifically for people like you and addressed to you explaining that the Forum is not purely for OBs and specifically pointing to chosen threads which might be of the greatest immediate interest such as the two mentioned (there are a few more on similar lines) but not preventing people looking at other threads. Threads do die and get relegated to previous pages of threads and disappear - these may be important enough to merit being brought to the attention of parents etc. even if there have been no posts for a year.

huggermugger · Post by **huggermugger** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:49 pm

I think this is a really good idea - I lurked here for ages - maybe a year - before joining & then 6 months before posting. Funnily enough, I was encouraged to post by the statistics displayed elsewhere on the site re: how many people join & don't post. I reasoned that at least a few of them would be parents so my question was really a cry into the ether. What I hadn't realised is how many ex-pupils would also talk to me & help/reassure me. Also, the resonance it would have for some of you in terms of your own experiences, which in turn has been extremely thought provoking for me.

I think there must be many more parents/potential parents out there who would benefit enormously from the shared wisdom. There will continue to be those who read & don't post, who presumably don't cost anything to service???

I don't know what the CHA is, but I can't see you'd be usurping anyone's role because the information just isn't out there. Believe me, I spent two years looking for it.

In particular, I looked for info about the application & selection process, as well as info about how the school treated the children & parents. I found very little and had to rely on anecdotes locally - this area has a particular connection with CH through the West's Gift so there are a number of CH parents here & I had a few friends who knew someone who'd got a child at the school. A bit convoluted.

The thing about sending your child away to school is that you don't have the community knowledge to draw upon like you do if you send him/her to the local school(s). You are reliant on official handouts & rumour. It's an unsettling position. And once your child is at school the sense of isolation is immense. I have no knowledgeable local community to support me or offer support to. There is no school gate or PTA meetings at which to swap information or check on how things are going - no informal networks.

So you've become my school gate - it's good to lean!

huggermugger · Post by **huggermugger** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 10:07 pm

Sorry, waffled on a bit - to answer some specific questions -

An intro would definitely be useful, tho not sure exactly what form it would take. Presumably you're thinking of a "sticky" in order to ensure it doesn't get buried?

I'm not sure why a signpost from other CH sites wouldn't be appropriate/possible - "helpful links" are on most websites & don't imply endorsement. It would seem to be a sensible course. However, I'm not versed in the politics of the situation & will leave that to others.

Agree that Mrs C cannot carry the weight of all new parents on her shoulders. To be fair I don't think that was the suggestion, but rather a lighthearted reference to how much help she's been. Maybe she should be available on the NHS...

Can't comment on the CHA/Wendy aspects cos I know not of what you speak...

lonelymom · Post by **lonelymom** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:44 am

lonelymom wrote:Sorry; I have to disagree about publicising the email address of Mrs C - or anyone else's for that matter.

Sorry sejintenej, I wasn't serious about Mrs C's email address!

lonelymom · Post by **lonelymom** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:54 am

huggermugger wrote:Agree that Mrs C cannot carry the weight of all new parents on her shoulders. To be fair I don't think that was the suggestion, but rather a lighthearted reference to how much help she's been. Maybe she should be available on the NHS...

Thanks huggermugger, that's exactly what I meant. You obviously have a better way with words than I do (as it apparent from your postings compared to mine - lol).

I didn't mean to cause offence to anyone.

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:09 am

Perhaps it could even be a separate forum. "Parents forum" or something like that. Goodness knows where that might wander knowing where the Hertford one has gone.

Ajarn Philip · Post by **Ajarn Philip** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:54 pm

lonelymom wrote:I didn't mean to cause offence to anyone.

And you didn't, least of all to Mrs C, I'm sure. Keep posting, and keep speaking your mind.

Ajarn Philip · Post by **Ajarn Philip** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:58 pm

englishangel wrote:Perhaps it could even be a separate forum. "Parents forum" or something like that. Goodness knows where that might wander knowing where the Hertford one has gone.

Not a separate forum, but perhaps a separate 'whatever it's called' - section?-within this forum. I think that's a good idea.

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 2:02 pm

Post ?
Thread ?
Subject ?

Euterpe13 · Post by **Euterpe13** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 2:16 pm

... nuthouse ?
( as the new Mums will swiftly discover, most OBs are a trifle deranged, and have a terrible sense of humour - read the "Jokes" thread....)

Welcome to you all - I am both an OB and a former CH-Mum, so I understand your situation !

(btw, why only Mums and no Dads???)

B.

englishangel · Post by **englishangel** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 2:50 pm

Euterpe13 wrote:... nuthouse ?
( as the new Mums will swiftly discover, most OBs are a trifle deranged, and have a terrible sense of humour - read the "Jokes" thread....)

Welcome to you all - I am both an OB and a former CH-Mum, so I understand your situation !

(btw, why only Mums and no Dads???)

B.

They think if they get involved it will bring back (bad?) memories of their own schooldays.

And by the way JR it is called a forum, after you have posted it says in the window "click here to return to forum". this is the thread