Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

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wurzel
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Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by wurzel »

Bit of a tricky question. By the way i am an old blue LHB/A 81-9

My son is 8 but has been accelerated a year at primary level (he jumped yr 1 went from reception straight to yr 2. This leaves us with a dilemma, he is obviously academic enough for CV exams (doing extra special maths on top of the extra maths groups work) but he is immature socially (read geeky nerd)

Now that you only get 1 crack at the exams no matter what date your birthday is we have a dilemma

Do we put him in for the exam basically a year early and hope he passes - don't think so remember how some people ended up repeating a year after passing exam but floundering after that

Take him out of state education for a year and let him live with his aunt who is a primary school dep head thinking of a sabattical anyway

Let him go to the local (very good) grant maintained boys grammer school for a year while he takes the exam, sees if he passes, has a choice of switching schools or not and if he goes to CH redoing his yr 7

Finish primary school then instead of going into secondary ed put him into a prep school to resit yr 6 while doing the ch exam.

Answers on a postcard please - also anyone know who at the counting house I should speak to for the party line and when the next open day for prospective parents is.
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by Mid A 15 »

wurzel wrote:Bit of a tricky question. By the way i am an old blue LHB/A 81-9

My son is 8 but has been accelerated a year at primary level (he jumped yr 1 went from reception straight to yr 2. This leaves us with a dilemma, he is obviously academic enough for CV exams (doing extra special maths on top of the extra maths groups work) but he is immature socially (read geeky nerd)

Now that you only get 1 crack at the exams no matter what date your birthday is we have a dilemma

Do we put him in for the exam basically a year early and hope he passes - don't think so remember how some people ended up repeating a year after passing exam but floundering after that

Take him out of state education for a year and let him live with his aunt who is a primary school dep head thinking of a sabattical anyway

Let him go to the local (very good) grant maintained boys grammer school for a year while he takes the exam, sees if he passes, has a choice of switching schools or not and if he goes to CH redoing his yr 7

Finish primary school then instead of going into secondary ed put him into a prep school to resit yr 6 while doing the ch exam.

Answers on a postcard please - also anyone know who at the counting house I should speak to for the party line and when the next open day for prospective parents is.
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by blondie95 »

wurzel wrote:Bit of a tricky question. By the way i am an old blue LHB/A 81-9

My son is 8 but has been accelerated a year at primary level (he jumped yr 1 went from reception straight to yr 2. This leaves us with a dilemma, he is obviously academic enough for CV exams (doing extra special maths on top of the extra maths groups work) but he is immature socially (read geeky nerd)

.
based on that i think you also need to remeber it is not just the exams that the child is amitted to the school on..they spend two days at the school where their behaviour/social side is also looked at! Also there is strong evidence that those born in the spetember are quite often more socially/academically forward than those born in the august as there is pratically a year between them. Therefore your son may find he slots in within the spectrum that there is likely to be between children at such an age

i personally think for academic and socail development the option of the local grammer school and then giving him the choice-however its just my opinon.
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by wurzel »

Thanks all (and the PM's) I will PM Great Plum to pass my details to his father.

By the way I know it is based on how the exam social side goes. For several years I used to be one of the helpers as I lived do close to school and Bob Sillett used to ask ours opinions on who we thought would and wouldn't "fit in".
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by blondie95 »

wurzel wrote:Thanks all (and the PM's) I will PM Great Plum to pass my details to his father.

By the way I know it is based on how the exam social side goes. For several years I used to be one of the helpers as I lived do close to school and Bob Sillett used to ask ours opinions on who we thought would and wouldn't "fit in".
me too....when the kids are away from the eyes of 'staff' they do change
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by nastymum »

Hello1

I am Jenny- Hertford 71-77- only nastymum because I make my kids eat greens , talk to me and do their prep!

I think if your son is happy at his school then leave him there;too much chopping and changing might not allow him to feel settled. if he is really bright he will achieve his potential anyway as it sounds like the school recognise his abilities. My eldest daughter is really bright but we were forced to move a lot and the thing she complains about most is not having a group of friends for long enough. Now she is settled she still retains her geeky nerdiness but is more sociable and confident.
For what it's worth,in my experience as a teacher, boys don't care for much organising and are best left to their own devices.It just takes a bit of bravery to trust them to do well where ever they are.

Regards

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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by wurzel »

Can't just leave him be as he is at junior school and will have to move somewhere, the question is whether we engineer him ending up back in the correct age/academic year if so how so or whether we just leave him accelerated and go for the local grammar. The local comp is a definate no go as it is a "sport's specialist" college full of people who care more about having the right trainers than learning and that is just not him.
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by englishangel »

The Americans sem to have much better grasp of this than we do.

A friend of mine moved to US when her son was 8 (his birthday is in May) and when they tested him they put him in the year ahead, he was also on the accelerated maths and english for that Grade. When he got to about 13 his parents were called in by his english tutor and told that although he was still doing very well on his accelerated path his English composition was rather emotionally immature for his Grade although they did realise that he was one of the younger ones in the group. His parents asked if the tutor realised that not only was his birthday in May but he was a full year younger than anyone else. The tutor hadn't realised this and had wondered why he was physically immature as well. he left him in the group and made allowances.

Tom graduated from High School at 16, went to College and graduated at 20 at the top of his class.

His parents never pushed him, he had been the youngest of 3 with two almost grown-up sisters so his parents never realised they had a genius on their hands.
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by jtaylor »

Here's my view for what it's worth...

I was one of the youngest on my year, and technically in the wrong year for my birthday. I skipped the last year of junior school, and started at CH when I was 10.
I wish I hadn't skipped that year - my maturity at school was not what it should have been, and I always felt as though I was playing catch up with everyone else. I tried to be more mature than I really was, which of course doesn't work! It took me a long time to really relax and be who I was. I had more friends on the years below and the year above than on my own, which was because I never really felt I emotionally fit in with my peers - I was in the wrong year, and should have been in the year below emotionally.

So my view would be to honestly assess his emotionally maturity (NOT just whether he can talk to adults/others of different ages, but how he really relates to his peers) and whether he's comfortable in his own skin. If he's not, then I'd try to find the year in which he feels most comfortable, and seems naturally to be able to make friends with.

Good luck - I think it's great that you're really thinking about this and care enough to get it right. Too many parents just assume that some form of accelerated progression is good, and will brag about it to their friends like some sort of status symbol....this won't help the child if they're in the wrong year group, and don't develop socially as they should.

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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by englishangel »

I think that's what I meant to say Julian, but in the US it was more the norm that people were out of 'their' year group so they might have less angst about it and younger students would have others that they could relate to. Just look at the Simpsons, or not.
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by wurzel »

Have an update on this - the local grammar is out. I spoke to admissions and they will only accept accelerated pupils whose B'day is pre dec 31st (his is January) and if he goes into year 7 at any other school they will also not accept him. Apparently this is their published policy agreed with the local education authorities and not subject to any flexibility. They suggest repeating yr 6 at primary (not an otion) or repeating year 6 at prep school with extra coaching to stop boardom which would be great if their suggested prep school didn't charge for "SEN" coaching at a rate of £29 per hour and all they would count all extra time with teachers out of mainstream classes as SEN.

So it looks like CH or bust (or argue with the local education authority that as they suggested the acceleration they have to continue appropriate free provision)
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by Hopeful_2009_Dep »

wurzel wrote:Have an update on this - the local grammar is out. I spoke to admissions and they will only accept accelerated pupils whose B'day is pre dec 31st (his is January) and if he goes into year 7 at any other school they will also not accept him. Apparently this is their published policy agreed with the local education authorities and not subject to any flexibility. They suggest repeating yr 6 at primary (not an otion) or repeating year 6 at prep school with extra coaching to stop boardom which would be great if their suggested prep school didn't charge for "SEN" coaching at a rate of £29 per hour and all they would count all extra time with teachers out of mainstream classes as SEN.

So it looks like CH or bust (or argue with the local education authority that as they suggested the acceleration they have to continue appropriate free provision)
Good luck, I've been reading through this thread as it developed, hope you get the result you want!
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by wurzel »

looks like it is CH or bust

Coucil stae that consultation for next years admisions policies finishes this Fri but the grammar apparently finished theirs 2 week ago. Their stated policy is

Children who are not in the normal age group
Such boys must be studying in Year 6 at the time of testing.
Applications will not be accepted from any boy whose birth date is before 01.09.98.
Applications will not be accepted from any boy whose date of birth is after 31.12.99.
Applicants who sit the tests early, i.e. whose date of birth falls on or between 01.09.99-31.12.99, and are not successful , will only be permitted to apply again the following year provided they are repeating Year 6. Written confirmation from the school will be requested. Any boy who has moved on to Year 7 will not be accepted.

Reading council have said they have approached them in the past re accelerated children and they have ALWAYS said no. Wokingham council (our authority) although we are in the Reading school catchment area just say "speak to Reading as we have no control over that school". They suggest another secondary that is outside cycling distance and has no bus connection plus is only marginally better than the terrible one.
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by wurzel »

looks like we are going to tell the school that we want him to repeat year 6 and then see what happens - we tried talking to the LEA and they said school first point of call. That way he gets back into his correct year group and can spend an extra year getting his literacy up to the standard of his maths plus doing more of his music

I will fill Mr Holdsworth and Pam Brake in so they know.
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Re: Prep School, 1 year at state secondary or tutoring ?

Post by jhopgood »

I wish you luck with whichever route you take. I had a similar situation with my two son's and the US system (at least where we were) is just as rigid as anywhere else.
My son's are 27 months apart and in the British system, were 2 years apart.
On a transfer, they had to go into a US school (no British school available) and for reasons I could not get satisfactorily explained, ended up in years 7 and 8. When I said it should be either 6 & 8 or 7 & 9, I was told that it would be reviewed at the end of the year. One of them got bored for the year after which we took them out and they went to an Accelerated Learning Centre where they learned at their own rate.
Next transfer they were again put one year apart and as the elder was about to do his last year, the school brought in the IB. They both did it and were effectively in the same year as the elder one stayed on in the equivalent of a first year at US college to complete. He then went on to a UK university and ended up with a PhD. We refused to let the younger go to University as he would be socially well out of his depth and sent him on a gap year, working in McDonalds in Buenos Aires and a library in Brunei. We also made him look for work which was pretty soul destroying for him.
He then had to do an extra year before University and so effectively got back to where he should have been before it all started.
Despite being almost in the same academic year for most of their secondary education, their circle of friends was very different, and I think that is the important factor.
At the end of the day, with parental support, they should achieve educationally, the level they are capable of achieving. (similar to the Peter Principle). It is on the emotional front where parents have more difficulty in helping, and it is there that, in my opinion, they should be with children at approximately the same stage of emotional development, which doesn't necessarily mean, the same age, but is probably, closely related.
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