What a good idea!

[englishangel]

I got this from a Canadian friend today. I think they would all work here too.

Now this is worth a try - especially the junk mail one.

Tips for Handling Telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work !!

(1)The three little words are: 'Hold On, Please...'
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking o ff (instead of
hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more
time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's 'beep-beep-beep' tone,
you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has
efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other
end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and
records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a 'real' sales
person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to
immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as
quickly as possible This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it
kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your
name in their system any longer ! !!

(3) Junk Mail Help:
When you get 'ads' enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these
'ads' with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk
mail away.

When you get those 'pre-approved' letters in the mail for everything from
credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the
return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them
more than the regular 37 cents postage 'IF' and when they receive them
back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50
cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that
case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these
cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza
coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just
send them their blank application back!
If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything
you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them
guessing! It still costs them 41 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their
own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let
them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're
paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail
is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to
increase postage costs a gain You get the idea !

If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- I have been doing
this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.

[sejintenej]

I got this from a Canadian friend today. I think they would all work here too.

Now this is worth a try - especially the junk mail one.

Tips for Handling Telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work !!

(1)The three little words are: 'Hold On, Please...'.

Ta muchly - I like it!!!

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other
end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and
records the time of day when a person answers the phone..

It is also used by would-be burglers to see if anyone is home.

(3) Junk Mail Help:
When you get 'ads' enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these
'ads' with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk
mail away.

When you get those 'pre-approved' letters in the mail for everything from
credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the
return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them
more than the regular 37 cents postage 'IF' and when they receive them
back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50
cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that
case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these
cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza
coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just
send them their blank application back!
If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything
you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them
guessing! It still costs them 41 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their
own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let
them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're
paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail
is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to
increase postage costs a gain You get the idea !

If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- I have been doing
this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.

I suspect it is of doubtful legality but I keep a collection of such junk mail.
After removing identifying words I then put Company A's blurb in Company B's
envelope, company B's blurb in Company C's envelope (ad infinitum / absurdum
and mail them

Having two valid addresses I also use the French address for offers to put in
"special offer" windows and doors etc. For telephone salesmen I have been
known to discuss the merits of their system against the competition for up to
25 minutes before suggesting that they come and measure up. They then
"check" the address in their records before I point out that their call has
been forwarded and I am in the Pyrennees! Amazingly I have yet to get any
swear words when I drop that bombshell. I then also point out that they have
wasted 30 minutes of me time, my number is registered for no sales calls
and I am reporting them with a request that action be taken against the salesman!

Sadist - they name is David!

[midget]

At one stage we kept a supply of labels printed "Unsolicited mail. Please return to sender", but returning junk from other firms sounds much more fun. Unfortunately, a lot of our junk comes from charities we have never heard of (and don't want to hear from again)

[englishangel]

I admit I usually write 'Deceased return to sender' on unsolicited charity mail, to make them feel REALLY bad.

[sejintenej]

I admit I usually write 'Deceased return to sender' on unsolicited charity mail, to make them feel REALLY bad.

Be careful with that. I have a mail forwarding contract with the Post Office though clearly I misunderstood it. They returned my subscribed copy of the RHS magazine "The Garden" as "Gone Away" so the RHS stopped sending any . They also returned correspondence from my stockbroker as "gone away" or similar so my account was blocked - cost me a few hundred quid and the Post Office simply ignore my complaints "we're sorry" or summat. Tried the post "ombudsman" who reckoned it was unproven despite my stockbroker's written confirmation.

So, if you say you are dead then the Post Office may take you at your word.

[matthew]

When you get 'ads' enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these
'ads' with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk
mail away.

A better solution for your Canadian friend: http://www.epost.ca/. No paper bills, no annoying bill inserts. It's almost wonderful.

[Jo]

(3) Junk Mail Help:
When you get 'ads' enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these
'ads' with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk
mail away.

When you get those 'pre-approved' letters in the mail for everything from
credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the
return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them
more than the regular 37 cents postage 'IF' and when they receive them
back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50
cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that
case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these
cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza
coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just
send them their blank application back!
If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything
you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them
guessing! It still costs them 41 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their
own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let
them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're
paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail
is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to
increase postage costs a gain You get the idea !

If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- I have been doing
this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.

It's a good wheeze just from a malicious enjoyment point of view, but if you do it anonymously, how do they know who to stop sending junk mail to?