Funny things your children have said

[englishangel]

When my son was 2-ish we were going through the relatives

Auntie Sarah is Mummy's sister etc. and he was also realising that adults called each other by a different name Mummy is Mary etc.

We got to Grandpa is Mummy's Daddy and his name is "Sid", then moved to Grandma is Mummy's Mummy and her name is "Oh Mother!!", collapse of Mummy and Mummy's Mummy - and Daddy and Miummy's Daddy.

[Jo]

My mother was a primary school teacher. By the time she retired, she was teaching second generation in the same school. She would often try to work out who were the parents of a child with a familiar surname, particularly if there had been several brothers and sisters in the first generation. However, she found that the average 5 year old's answer to "what's Mummy's (or Daddy's) first name?" would simply elicit the answer "Mummy", so she resorted to "What does Daddy call Mummy?" That brought some interesting answers

[Ajarn Philip]

My mother was a primary school teacher. By the time she retired, she was teaching second generation in the same school. She would often try to work out who were the parents of a child with a familiar surname, particularly if there had been several brothers and sisters in the first generation. However, she found that the average 5 year old's answer to "what's Mummy's (or Daddy's) first name?" would simply elicit the answer "Mummy", so she resorted to "What does Daddy call Mummy?" That brought some interesting answers

Miss Gibson was my primary school teacher very early on. Nice lady; I can remember going to the local shop at lunchtime to buy unsalted butter for her, which was considered a huge privilege. (That would have been on the way back from the chip shop...)

One day I was so eager to answer a question that I shoved my hand up and yelled, "Mum! Mum!" So trivial, but the fact that it has stayed with me for 45 years speaks volumes.

Talking of Mum, family 'history' has it that when I was 4 years old and we sat down for tea (now dinner), I said "Mother, I observe your nose is like a figure 4". Personally, I hope it's one of those apocryphal stories that have no real basis in truth. Otherwise I'd wish myself strangled at birth. Mother, Gawd bless 'er, is long gone, so I can't refer to the source.

[kerrensimmonds]

Talking of Primary Schools...I am the eldest of three. My mum went into our Primary School one day, to collect my brother (the youngest) from the Reception class. She had with her the young son of our local GP. She stood outside the classroom door, and the teacher could see her through the square glass window which was about two thirds up the door. The teacher opened the door, saw Peter holding my mother's hand, and involuntarily exclaimed 'Oh no, Mrs. Simmonds, not another one.......'

[Ajarn Philip]

Talking of Primary Schools...I am the eldest of three. My mum went into our Primary School one day, to collect my brother (the youngest) from the Reception class. She had with her the young son of our local GP. She stood outside the classroom door, and the teacher could see her through the square glass window which was about two thirds up the door. The teacher opened the door, saw Peter holding my mother's hand, and involuntarily exclaimed 'Oh no, Mrs. Simmonds, not another one.......'

There speaks a big sister...

[kerrensimmonds]

Wasn't me, honest. I was, and still remain, a docile, compliant and law abiding citizen (in fact at the time I had already gone to CH Hertford, but the exclamation went into family folklore). Can't say the same for my siblings, one of whom went late to another 'public' school (failing to get into CH) and the other went to a Grammar School. Maybe Mrs. Meadway (the Reception Class teacher) had some foreknowledge......This Forum does not need to know what happens for my siblings now (though I would reassure you that there is nothing overtly criminal going on...) but I would say that I am glad that my parents have departed to better things and are not party to family developments these last five years. Being the 'Big Sister' makes life very difficult for me, at times... even though I am now officially an OAP!

[Sallz]

My youngest brother has a tendancy to forget words, so for 3/4 of my time at ch he refered to me as "my sister, the one thats not called Christine..."
He also calls crumpets trombonas. We think this happend when he called one a trumpet, and then forgot the word for trumpet and so moved on to trombonas.
The list can go on, but I think the best had to be a few weeks ago. In the innocent way only an 8 year old can manage, he exclaimed "the only reason caravans were made was to give poor people somewhere to live!" Amazing.

I also went through a phase when learning to talk of calling everything cat, including my dog (in my defence a yorkshire terrior could be easily mistakable for a cat to a small child)

[Sean]

One day my 16 year old daughter told me something I didn't believe so I said "oh yeah and I'm a Ducthman's uncle" (God alone knows where I got that expression from). a few days later my 17 year old son said something my 4 year old daughter didn't belive so she said "and I'm a Dutch bun's toggle". She might just have a future as a stand up comedienne!

[Angela Woodford]

Sean, I love that!

I was reminiscing with my oldest friend - our parents were stalwart members of the same church and John and I were at Sunday school together. He and I were both subject to the same "Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it Holy" routine at home. Only Godly activities were approvable.

(My sister was furiously reproved by "Auntie" Molly XXXX for wearing earrings whilst singing in the choir. "She has the Devil in her!" raged Auntie Molly. Little did she know that my sister went dancing on a Saturday night under cover of attending a Young Peoples' Fellowship Prayer Meeting.)

Anyway, here is John's recollection of a quick witted fellow child's response to Sunday restrictions.

A family sits quietly on Sunday afternoon, doing improving activities. Suddenly, there is whirring and rattling from one child's bedroom. A model railway in action! The father calls up the stairs.

Father: Are you playing with your trains? (Sternly) You know it's Sunday. Stop that now!

(Silence. Father returns to reading gospel commentary. After a while there is more whirr and rattle. The father throws down his book in exasperation.)

Father: Stop playing with those trains at once!!!!

Child: (Very reasonably) But Daddy - these trains are carrying Bibles to the missionaries!

[midget]

And the child grew up to become a politician.

[Angela Woodford]

And the child grew up to become a politician.

The child grew up to be a missionary! It's true, Maggie!

[gma]

No children so have to steal other's lines

Good friend has two children and lives in the wilds of Norfolk and was desperate to be sure that the children could identify themselves and where they lived if they ever wandered off so had a ritual where he got them to repeat their names a lot.

He wanted to show off their 'trick' to us at a party and asked his 5 year old daughter to tell us her name. She proudly announced "My name is Rachel Mary B********* and I live at ... etc etc".

He asked his 3 year old son to perform and he proudly announced: "My name is Thomas Shut Up"......long silence and much dashing by guests to the garden to rotfl !

[englishangel]

My daughter has a very good voice which she doesn't use much nowadays but when she was little she would sing at the drop of a hat. We were going out so when the baby sitter arrived (a woman of around my age, she came with her new boyfriend)
we suggested that Helen sing all three verses of Mary Had a Little Lamb which she proceeded to do with her finger up her nose as far as the second knuckle. I thought the new boyfriend was going to have a stroke stifling his laughter.

I hope she never sees this or I am DEAD

[nastymum]

Not my own child but sweet all the same. I taught class in a rough school where sometimes the children would be withdrawn for extra help. They went to The Special Needs Department. Paul got up to go and I had forgotten he had to leave and asked hin why he was out of his seat. He said he was going to The Special Helps Department. I asked him if he would go to the photocopier on the way . He said he would be glad to but did I want the item 'biggened or smallened?'...

[Sallz]

We had a childrens christmas service at church the other day. The vicar asked the children if they could tell him the name of the baby that was born at christmas. One little one jumped up and down looking proud and announced the his name was Wayne. The vicar explained that his name was Jesus, but the little boy was adament it was Wayne. When the vicar asked who told him its name was Wayne, the boy said he learnt it in a song at school. The vicar looked a bit worried and asked the child to sing him the song...
"a wayne in a manger!"
Priceless!!!!!