FIRST LEAVE WEEKEND

[Momto2]

Just wanted to send a big smilie face to all the new parents who have waited so long for this first leave weekend to arrive

It's here and I hope you have a wonderful few days with your little darlings

x

[lonelymom]

Thanks Momto2

My husband and I (oooh, doesn't that sound posh???) have been looking forward to this day for what seems like forever! We were just saying how we think she'll come running out, massive grin on her face and launch herself at us for hugs!! On the flip side, we'll probably get 'hi' from our eldest, and then she'll go round giving all her friends hugs goodbye!

Can't wait to get there!

[anniexf]

Just to wish you all a safe journey, lovely weekend weather and lots of fun with your children! It's going to be very quiet on this forum for a while....

[Mid A 15]

Enjoy yourselves with your "babies!"

[Momto2]

Well, it's 8.45pm on Sunday evening now.

Have just got back from a dire Grecians' parents' evening ... there just has to be a better way of organising those things

Hope you all had a lovely leave weekend - they fly by unfortunately.

x

[lonelymom]

We had a lovely weekend . My daughter wanted to go shopping to spend her birthday money, and wow, can she shop! It wasn't exactly relaxing, but it was wonderful to spend some time alone with her. She told me she was 'kind of' looking forward to going back to school, has made lots of friends and is enjoying the school side of it, but just misses us.

She was fine about going back, until the point where we said goodbye, then she got a bit tearful. About 30 minutes into my return journey I had a text saying 'Wait mum. I can't stay here for another three weeks!', but after a quick call I managed to persuade her that she could. I think she is actually starting to settle at CH, but I'm sure I'll get more texts about being homesick over the next 3 weeks

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

We are back to the problems engendered by "Leave" --- Weekends "Off" etc.

I know that this is a different CH from the "Old Days" --- but I don't think it helps homesickness.

Comments ?

Actually, I think we have been through all this before !

[lonelymom]

Obviously I can't speak for everyone, but I know that if my daughter had to do a full term, with no Leave Weekends, she wouldn't have coped. I think, for her, knowing that she was coming home for a couple of days, gave her something to look forward to and cheered up her so that she was able to enjoy the whole CH experience a bit more. If she hadn't had that to look forward to I think she would probably have been unhappier in general and wouldn't have been able to give it her 'all'. I'm sure there are some kids whose homesickness is made worse by frequent visits home, but I don't think my daughter is one of those.

[Jo]

That's an interesting point, lonelymom. I'm sure I was the same. I remember the heart-stopping realisation, about an hour after my parents left, that I wouldn't see them, my brothers, or my home again for weeks. It truly felt like the bottom had fallen out of my world. In those days we didn't have leave weekends, just Saturday or Sunday visiting, and first years weren't allowed a visit before Long Saturday, which had no prep, longer than usual visiting hours, and was mid-term. If I hadn't had Long Sat to look forward to, I don't know how I'd have coped. I suppose it was about three weeks away because we did the four-term year and so the Autumn and Christmas terms were only about six weeks each. As it happened, my parents couldn't make the first Long Sat as my father had already committed to take a wedding, so my aunt and uncle came instead. It was nice but it wasn't the same.

After two or three years (why it took so long I don't know!) we realised that actually we lived close enough so that it was worth going home for the day rather than just outings to local towns and attractions around Hertford. That made such a big difference - I am sure I was settling by then in anyway, but looking back, it made me much happier being able to see my home and experience a bit of temporary normality every few weeks rather than only during holidays.

[fra828]

That's an interesting point, lonelymom. I'm sure I was the same. I remember the heart-stopping realisation, about an hour after my parents left, that I wouldn't see them, my brothers, or my home again for weeks. It truly felt like the bottom had fallen out of my world. In those days we didn't have leave weekends, just Saturday or Sunday visiting, and first years weren't allowed a visit before Long Saturday, which had no prep, longer than usual visiting hours, and was mid-term. If I hadn't had Long Sat to look forward to, I don't know how I'd have coped. I suppose it was about three weeks away because we did the four-term year and so the Autumn and Christmas terms were only about six weeks each. As it happened, my parents couldn't make the first Long Sat as my father had already committed to take a wedding, so my aunt and uncle came instead. It was nice but it wasn't the same.

After two or three years (why it took so long I don't know!) we realised that actually we lived close enough so that it was worth going home for the day rather than just outings to local towns and attractions around Hertford. That made such a big difference - I am sure I was settling by then in anyway, but looking back, it made me much happier being able to see my home and experience a bit of temporary normality every few weeks rather than only during holidays.

Yes, the four term-year was a real godsend that first very homesick few weeks. As a new girl, I wouldn't have coped either with a long Autumn term with only one Long Sat. And that day flew past didn't ?! I seem to remember it was 10am-7pm, but it depended on where your parents/visitors had to travel from, and my mum couldn't get there till noon. I remember looking longingly out of the wardrobe room window in anticipation of her arrival. By the 4th year, we met up in London which was so much better, we had more time and choice of things to do. A few of us did the same thing, got the train to Liv. Street. DR must have let us travel in a group cos there were younger ones there too. The main things I recall about spending Long Sat in Hertford was the wonderful mixed grill we used to have in 'The White Hart' (?). Unbelievably delicious after weeks of school food! And memories also of stocking up on home jams and tuck in 'Fine-Fare' -supermarket that's long gone!

[Momto2]

I'm very much in two minds about Leave Weekends.

I count the days and absolutely long to see the children and I know they love coming home but even after 6 years it's so blooming hard to say goodbye again on the Sunday evening and it feels like Groundhog Day every time. I think we are lucky in that we live within half an hour of the school and can quite easily get to matches etc so that probably helps in our case.

Strangely my daughter who is now a GE told me that she had never wanted to come home so much as on this Leave Weekend - not sure why that was the case this particular time but she went off to her house quite happily yesterday.

My own mother was at boarding school in India and didn't see her parents for 9 months at a time!

[lonelymom]

I count the days and absolutely long to see the children and I know they love coming home but even after 6 years it's so blooming hard to say goodbye again on the Sunday evening and it feels like Groundhog Day every time.

I agree that it is hard to say goodbye after each Leave Weekend, but I think it would be even harder to say goodbye at the start of each new term if it wasn't for the fact that it is only for 3 weeks. I think that saying goodbye for 6 weeks or possibly even longer would be awful, and I don't think I could do it!

[Katharine]

I don't want to belittle anyone's feelings so please take this as a genuine query.

John worked for the British Council for many years, which meant that our boys went to boarding school at the age of 8. We had brought them up from the time they could understand the concept of schooling that they would be going to a boarding school at some time, many of their friends at Primary school overseas also went to board. Most CH pupils have not had this upbringing, the possibility of boarding only appears a year or so before starting, and many of their friends don't go to board.

It was never easy saying goodbye, but I don't remember the traumas that some of you are describing. When we were overseas we never saw them from one end of the term to the next, but we did see them every holiday, unlike earlier generations of expat parents.

Was I an unfeeling Mum - or was I lucky, I don't know?

My stepgrandson, aged 11, has just started as a weekly boarder, and they have traumas every weekend. His housemaster wishes they were back to full boarding, and had the children for longer before they went home for the first time.

[MKM]

I'm sure you weren't unfeeling Katharine. I wonder if it was easier for you because you had no real alternative to boarding for your children. Also, they were so young that you probably couldn't involve them in the decision, or discuss it much with them. You had to emphasis the positives, for their sake. It still can't have been easy for you to wave goodbye.

Like you, I don't want to belittle anyone's feelings, particularly as my own children never went to boarding school.

[Vonny]

Even as recently as the late 80's (OK, so it's not THAT recent!) we didn't have leave weekends. Just the "Long Sats" at Hertford & then similar at Horsham (can't remember if they were called "Long Sats" at Horsham ). I used to look forward to those days at Hertford but as we lived in Dorset it was a long way to travel just for a few hours. Hence as I got older I remember agreeing that my mum wouldn't come up. I do recall one such day when another girls parents took pity on me & invited me out for the day with them. We ended up having a meal at the pub along Fore Street (Salisbury Arms maybe?). At Horsham I generally used to go out with friends or the boyfriend for the day.
It must be hard for the children whose parents live miles away. Not only that but the cost of the travel, time off work to make the journeys etc. I am sure I would never have been able to go home for such frequent weekends. Do pupils HAVE to go away for leave weekends?
Were our terms really only 6 weeks or so long? 6 weeks now seems nothing but back then 6 weeks would have seemed like as lifetime!