Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

Oh CHAZ.

Yes, perhaps my mind was going round and round in correct guess mode...

You will never know the shock I felt when I played in my first rugby match! I had heard of rugby before I went to CH but never played it nor did I know anything about it.
There I am freezing cold and very nervous, wanting to create a good impression. Then this teacher ( Mr Plumley) says here lad, take this ball and run with it, Adam Fenn will show everyone how we tackle. I came around 10 minutes later having been hit at full speed by Adam aka The human canon! Then I am told that due to my build, I am to play in the scrum. This won't be too bad I thought. How wrong could I have been.
I bend like I am told to and even put my arm around the boy next to me (getting a bit worried now as where I came from boys NEVER hug boys), then it happens....................The boy behind me shoves his arm between my legs and grabs the waist band of my shorts! Nobody warned me about that so I spun around and decked him! Welcome to my first detentions and first dose of the slipper from dead eye super power Plumley, I couldn't sit down for the rest of the day. Needless to say, I was never a great fan of rugby.
As for toilets with no doors, I only remember one plce where that was true and nobody ever used them except when suffering from the kitchens two step!

Blimey Sean, welcome back.

Welcome back, Sean. I'm sure an experience like that would put you off ANY games for life.

Sean wrote:You will never know the shock I felt when I played in my first rugby match! I had heard of rugby before I went to CH but never played it nor did I know anything about it.

.The boy behind me shoves his arm between my legs and grabs the waist band of my shorts! Nobody warned me about that so I spun around and decked him! Welcome to my first detentions and first dose of the slipper from dead eye super power Plumley, I couldn't sit down for the rest of the day. Needless to say, I was never a great fan of rugby.
As for toilets with no doors, I only remember one plce where that was true and nobody ever used them except when suffering from the kitchens two step!

I also had a bit of a problem with rugby. In his intro Kit simply stated that we had to get the ball over the line at the other end of the pitch and we couldn't throw it forward. Sounds simple.

There's me with a wall of malintentioned thugs descending towards me at an incredible rate so I turn round and throw the ball backwards over my shoulder. The ref simply blew the whistle. Second time he stops the game and told me that if I threw the ball "forward" again I would be punished. OK so I throw it backwards over my shoulder a third time (bl**dy stupid language these Sussex fellas speak when backwards is forwards) ) and get my knees and kidneys assaulted (can't remember if it was cane or slipper that time) for saying I had thrown the ball backwards.

Well I have to be honest, house cricket matches bore absolutely no resemblance to the game played at Lords! It was something more akin to Rollerball (for those who have seen the film).
Why do I get the feeling that I am going to get a certain smiley and be told to get back on subject?

While we're on the subject of rugby: is there anyone else who was at CH for 8 years and never managed to get even into the 5th XV? Rugby was hell on earth, especially on a cold. wet Saturday afternoon.

Curiously, though, I thought 7-a-sides was quite fun. But I suppose it wasn't "character building", i.e. didn't prepare you for four years in the trenches, so we didn't have it much.

As for house cricket, there was a thing called "Third Leagues". Basically asphalt cricket played on grass with a hard ball.

michael scuffil wrote:While we're on the subject of rugby: is there anyone else who was at CH for 8 years and never managed to get even into the 5th XV? Rugby was hell on earth, especially on a cold. wet Saturday afternoon.

Curiously, though, I thought 7-a-sides was quite fun. But I suppose it wasn't "character building", i.e. didn't prepare you for four years in the trenches, so we didn't have it much.

As for house cricket, there was a thing called "Third Leagues". Basically asphalt cricket played on grass with a hard ball.

I was so utterly incompetent, I never made it that far. I was usually relegated to touchman in rugby and scorer in cricket.

michael scuffil wrote:While we're on the subject of rugby: is there anyone else who was at CH for 8 years and never managed to get even into the 5th XV? Rugby was hell on earth, especially on a cold. wet Saturday afternoon.

5th XV - never heard of it in my nine years so obviously I also failed miserably (which is par for the course).
OTOH some later mug saw potential and I played (pretty poor) international rugby later! There's hope for you yet

bum sliding in the lav-ends... were they deliberately designed so u could flood them?

(coughs politely)

Still none the wiser re. soggy biscuits and helicopters over here.

Will someone please spell it out for the benefit of the old and feeble?

And did this sort of thing (whatever it is) go on as a mainstream activity or was it for connoisseurs of depravity only?

little_r wrote:bum sliding in the lav-ends... were they deliberately designed so u could flood them?

I always thought they were designed to keep the sicker full of concussion victims! The times I slipped as I walked to the sink to brush my teeth or wash my face.
Also why is it that every time I got the chance to have a bath, someone always dropped what smelled like raw sewage?

Chrissie Boy wrote:(coughs politely)

Still none the wiser re. soggy biscuits and helicopters over here.

Will someone please spell it out for the benefit of the old and feeble?

And did this sort of thing (whatever it is) go on as a mainstream activity or was it for connoisseurs of depravity only?

This may be censored but what the hell...

Soggy Biscuit....exciting oneself and leaving one's life on the biscuit
Helicopters.... grabbing ones fish and tackle and rotating at great sped liek a helicopter

I shall probably be banned for life form this Forum. It wa sgreat while it lasted guys and gals!!!

As a moderator, I think I can just about live with that Chaz............

However, there are others !