Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

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Spoonbill
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Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by Spoonbill »

I generally don't mention to anyone at all that I went to any sort of public school and that's pretty much how it's been since I left education. Perhaps it's partly because I worry slightly about other people's ill-informed preconceptions about private schools and the people who've been to them, but mainly it's because I tend not to spend too much time contemplating my stint at CH (an understatement) and anyway it's such a distant memory nowadays that I wonder sometimes whether actually I just dreamed it all.

If I ever find myself in a conversation about what sort of schools we all went to, I generally say that I went to Bash Street School and leave it at that, but if pressed, I'll say that I attended various schools, one of which was a 'charity boarding school.' If anyone asks for clarification, I draw parallels with institutions like Chailey Heritage School, Muntham House or the school where Frank Bruno was sent and I stress that it cost my parents nothing at all to send me there. If exhorted to expand further on the subject, I tend to mention the rather spartan nature of the place and the fact that many of the pupils were from low-income, single-parent backgrounds and had dads who did things like deliver milk or drive trucks or taxis. Describing the plank beds is pretty effective too. I never mention the name Christ's Hospital though, because that's my business and no-one else's.

Since leaving university, I've never told anyone that I attended a public school and with every passing year there's even less chance that I ever will. Besides, the average CH pupil of my own day was was so utterly unlike the kind of kid whom people think of when the words public school are bandied about that I've always struggled to see myself as ever having been to a public school at all. Architecturally it was one perhaps, but I have to say I never felt like a 'public school boy' even while I was a serving pupil there.

So am I normal in not wishing to consider myself to be an ex-public school pupil, let alone bruit it abroad? I'm certainly not ashamed of CH, but as for telling the world I went to public school, forget it. In my book, I went to a rather grim and austere charity school which used to be in London but now isn't. It served me well, but at no point was I ever at risk of being at a public school.
Last edited by Spoonbill on Sun May 05, 2019 1:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by rockfreak »

Ha ha! Well done Spoony. You really must read pyschotherapist Nick Duffell's books 'The Making of Them' and 'Wounded Leaders'. He divides the people he sees in his consulting rooms who went to boarding school as Compliers, Rebels and The Crushed. Compliers buy into the whole silly establishment nonsense of the English public school and then go into establishment jobs which replicate the hierarchical structure of their schools, often joining those ridiculous exclusive gentlemans' clubs in London where you have to be proposed for membership. Then there are the Rebels who never accept the school ethos and rebel by whatever means they can - no-one ever quite apes the Malcolm McDowell character in Lindsay Anderson's film 'If', mowing the b*ggers down with a machine gun from the roof. We mostly just seethe and find more subtle ways to signal our annoyance. And then we go into jobs where you don't perhaps need to attend tedious conventions all the time while listening to portentous speeches and wearing a lanyard round your neck. And then there are The Crushed. These unfortunates are so traumatised by the whole system that they never quite recover and turn to drink and drugs later in life. By his posts I've sometimes felt that Banker Brown fell into this latter category, but only he can tell us. Of course sometimes these categories overlap - a bit of one and a bit of the other.

And yes, as Duffell observes, some of these people deliberately don't cultivate a posh accent to the extent that people wouldn't know they'd been to a public school. This too is a way of signalling your detachment. But your post adds to a discussion that is already going on under the thread called "Did anyone else hate it there?" which I think is also under General - CH Stuff. Most interesting and guaranteed to wind up the public school propagandists who have long since been huffing and puffing about my input (I've been banned from the CHOBA site by the way). Keep up the good work.
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by MrEd »

I wouldn't presume that anyone was interested in the school that I went to, nor would I be interested in anyone else's schooling, or even University. But if people I know (e.g. work colleagues) ask, (I think some perceive my manner of speaking as a bit 'posh' but not aristocratic, e.g. I don't pronounce 'house' as 'hoice', but who does these days?), I tell them that I went to Boarding School and if it goes further, mention the School and provide some context, as Spoonbill says, and I find that a brief explanation is rather harder than a longer one. I am happy to mention the School, and don't avoid the 'historical' allegations if asked, since any 'net search will throw them up I expect.

I find that the uniform usually generates astonishment amongst those not familiar with the older part of the charitable school sector. Then people ask what it was like, and tales of the relatively spartan conditions usually generate some discussion.

I suppose I could also tell people that had I gone to my local Comp, I might well have been a contemporary of the Shoe Bomber, Richard Colvin Reid, who is now in a much less pleasant institution, details here. https://www.bop.gov/inmateloc/#
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by loringa »

I don't boast about it and tend to say that I went to boarding school when asked though I am very happy to mention Christ's Hospital if folk want more detail, which some of them do. Some of my work colleagues and friends went to independent schools, some didn't, but as I currently work abroad most of us send our children to independent schools, either here in Kuwait (because there is no other option available) or back in the UK. One family, at least, is fortunate enough to have got their kids into a state boarding school. The unifying factor for all of us is that we have opted for the type of education that we think is going to be best for our children; it has very little to do with the 'snob factor' or wish to access any sort of 'old boy or old girl network'.
For a while I worked in a number of inner-city schools in Bristol. On one occasion, I heard the pupils refer to me as 'that posh bloke' (which I quite liked) but I was more than happy to defend both independent schools and selective education to both staff and students if it came up in conversation, though it rarely did. Most teachers were far too busy trying to impart some form of education to their charges to worry about where their colleagues went to school or how they chose to educate their kids.
As an aside, very few of the teachers I have ever known have ever allowed politics to enter the classroom. They work hard under very difficult conditions and, quite frankly, have better things to do. The radicals of the NUT (now NEU) you hear at 'conference' are very much the minority.
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by sejintenej »

If the subject comes up I point out that my mother was in service, the family did not want servants' kids around so they sent me away to a charity school where my mother didn't have to pay. As "he" told me, "go to that school or you and your mother leave here"
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by J.R. »

Simple answer - YES, if it comes up in conversation.
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by AMP »

Don't get the chance.

People are more interested in talking about themselves
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by J.R. »

AMP wrote: Thu May 02, 2019 12:31 pm Don't get the chance.

People are more interested in talking about themselves
Time to change your pub, then !
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by scrub »

If anyone asks, I tell them, but it rarely comes up in conversation these days. Seems to me that between the ages of 30 and 60 most people don't care that much, their memories of school have faded and nostalgia hasn't kicked in yet so it's way down the list of common grounds to talk about. Any/all of football, kids, spouses, work, booze, TV, movies, books, etc are way more interesting.

My accent has softened a bit since coming back to the UK, but more often than not, people still just assume I'm Australian and went to school there before moving (back) here.
What I have noticed is that outside the UK, people are curious about it and interested in hearing some stories, but it's treated more like a curio or oddity, a real life version of something they'd seen on TV. A lot of times you'll hear "oh, that's an actual thing? Is it really like that TV/movie/book ...". After that though it's left alone and we get on with things as they were.
There is usually a different response when you talk about it here though. IMO, a lot of that is due to the hang-ups the UK still has about the class system, which are much more noticeable when you return here as an adult. It can really change the tone/dynamic of a conversation as people start mentally sorting you into "one of those/them".
A little annoying when it happens, personally I think that the school I went to is one of the less interesting things about me but so it goes.
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by Mid A 15 »

No.

As may be the case possibly with AMP, I find it easier to listen rather than talk so the situation rarely if ever arises. Most people enjoy talking about themselves which suits me just fine.
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by Janey Jam-Jar »

If pressed I might say I went to boarding school depending who I'm talking to and whether I want to answer questions about it, but I've never thought of it as a 'public school' so I wouldn't use those words.
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by Sergiu Panaite »

Sometimes, if relevant or if I'm asked; and if that means some people trot out their preconceptions, then frankly, I couldn't care less. Yes it's had a large influence on who I am now, but it's not what defines me.

It usually gets mentioned in a "I went to boarding school, if you think you can wind me up then you'd better be very good at it" kind of way :wink:
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by Avon »

I honestly can’t remember the last time I was asked the question; it’s a bit non-u, surely?

Should it arise again, I think I’ll say that I was at the Royal Mathematical School. It sounds like a splendid place; no predatory priests, no rapist history teachers, no eloping musicians, no kinky parties, no untoward risks in the woodworking department. Also, no incompetent and lazy senior management team.
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by michael scuffil »

I say I went to a boys' boarding school in the 50s/60s. I say it quite often, not least because the experience was so alien to anything my children, let alone their children, underwent that it relativizes all experience.

When talking to my teenage grandchildren, I point out that when my grandfather was born, there were no cars; when my parents were born, there was no radio; when I was born, there was (in practice) no television; when my children were born, there were no home computers; when they themselves were born, there were no smartphones. I invite them, on the basis of this information, to imagine what they might tell their grandchildren. It makes them think.

That's the technological side; CH circa 1960 represents the sociological side.

I don't talk about 'the good old days'. I just say that's how it was.
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Re: Do You Tell People That You Went To Public School?

Post by CHAZ »

I live in France and so rarely do people understand the concept of boarding as over here un internat is Monday to Friday and for kids that seem to struggle in public system and need monitoring. There is also complete incomprehension as to why parents don't wnat to be around their kids for 8 months a year!

In US not an issue if some were to ask me if i went to Public School as I can say happily yes. I always found it funny how they twisted it all. Prep schools are our public schools, college is university and grad school is post grad....
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