Letters from the distant past

Share your memories and stories from the Hertford Christ's Hospital School, which closed in 1985, when the two schools integrated to the Horsham site....

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Jenny Pardington
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Post by Jenny Pardington »

I've just returned from my travels (Moldova, since you ask) and plucked out the next letter - another from S.A.W. I'm glad to say! Nothing special - just a general ramble about this and that.

"J.M.B.

There is not much prep of any importance to be attended to so I will write a nice long letter, heaven only knows what about as I only saw you this afternoon. Of course I will take the photo. Lead me to the camera. It will have to be when she doesn't know.

Tomorrow we will get our chemistry results and I shall know the worst. Oh I don't want to get under 20 - I fear to think of my parents' reactions as I have got to get it at O Level next year. If only I was at a secondary mod. and no-one expected me to pass any stupid exams. Pray for me after break, I sure will need it.

You haven't given me your famous advice on V.U. yet. I wait in anticipation (pleasurable?). What I meant by my mysterious message at break was that you gave me nightmares last night (don't worry, it's quite a common occurrence, I always have them). I got you being blown down the field by an anti-H bomb and M.K.P. standing on the side line shouting "Mind the wire netting" and then there was another one and it was coming straight for me and I tried to run and my legs wouldn't move. It blew me off my feet and I felt a terrific crash and I woke up to find myself on the floor clutching my animal and my pillow. I didn't realise where I was for ages and I thought the end of the world had come. It was rather funny though of course I didn't think so at the time - I was terrified. By the time I remade my bed and calmed myself down I was absolutely wide awake and I couldn't get to sleep for ages. I kept thinking of you being blown up by a bomb and I'm sure you were such a sweet little baby.

Q.M.B. has given us these foul Latin newspapers to read for prep and I can't make head nor tail of them whilst everyone else sits and sniggers at the witty jokes (in Latin of course).

I am sadly hungry and I have eaten all the Jaffa cakes. All that remains are three blackcurrant Murrayfruits which I must save for emergencies. What are you making for school needlework? Mine isn't even joined together yet. Honestly I'll never finish. I shall have to stay behind at end of term and do it!

I do hope you will be one of the lucky 7. Remember to bring back a graphic description of him.
(I have no idea what event this was, though I do remember being one of a small group that entertained Trevor Huddlestone to tea. Ed)

I shall get my hair cut tonight so look out for urchin cuts tomorrow. Prep draweth to an end without me comprehending a word of Latin newspaper. Oh well, there isn't a lesson until Monday. I don't think I want tomorrow to come at all.

S.A.W.

P.S. Have you read any of BB's books and do you like them? I seem to be in splendid isolation in my love around here."
Jennifer Bore, 5's and 8's 1953-1960
Jenny Pardington
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An unsent letter

Post by Jenny Pardington »

Now - here's a curiosity: a letter from me that I didn't send for some reason. Perhaps it will remind some of you of the embarrassment of having little "admirers"? As I was an assistant Mon. to 5's and took netball and swimming with both 1's and 5's I had more than my fair share of these and I never really knew how to cope with it. Anyway, here's the letter I wrote to one poor mite - luckily she never received it! Reading it through, it seems to give so many mixed messages I reckon it would just have confused the situation!

I have mixed feelings about sharing this letter as it doesn't show me in a very good light, but what the h*ll, here goes -

"Dear K,
I thought it might be a good idea if I wrote to you while I was at home as this is far easier than speaking to you at school. It is difficult enough to see you alone, leave alone speak to you.

I would like to tell you now, once and for all, before any illusions are broken in an unfortunate way, that I am not worth crying over. It is very flattering to hear that you do, but it is no better for me to hear that you do it, than it is for you. One of these days you will know what I mean. I know that you have liked lots of people in senior wards since you have been here and I wonder if you still like them in the same way? I am not used to having people "cracked" on me as I have been brought up to be friendly with everyone without silliness or sentimentality. There are one or two people in the school who have tried to be "cracked" on me but they have found it does not really work so they continue to like me as a person but be on a friendly basis instead.

I remember that I had my share of seniors, some of whom I admired secretly and some of whom I admired openly and directly. I often wonder which was the best way and I am rather inclined to think the first as then, when my enthusiasm waned, it did not hurt anyone a scrap. You may think it funny, but when seniors do have little admirers, it does hurt a bit when they just drift away. It is difficult to get used to being looked at and watched but it is infinitely more embarrassing when you have to talk naturally to someone who was once rather silly about you. When I was in the LIV I was cracked on one of the UV in 8's but after a term in the UIV, my first year in 8's, I drifted away because I discovered this girl was not really the 7 wonders of the world after all. Even now I find it difficult to speak to her because we can't speak on ordinary friendly terms.

I do not flatter myself that you will still feel the same way about me until I leave, if you still do when you have read this letter, but I do hope that you will be far friendlier and not just "worshipping from afar". I like to talk to people and know what they are like, what they like doing, about their families and pets and wildest dreams and I don't like just smiling at someone rather vaguely and thinking "Well, I've seen that face somewhere before...."

I don't ask that the next time you see me you come straight up and talk as if you were the same age, but I do ask that I'm not met with shy giggles and stutters. Please smile outright if you want to. I can't promise a return of this for various reasons but that doesn't stop you, I'm sure.

This all probably seems like one long lecture. I'm sorry, but I have to show some people what I'm like some way. Both Clare and Lucy Lissant like me and any illusions Lucy may have are very quickly shattered by Clare, I'm sure. She doesn't think I'm beautiful, I can promise you! You are the very first person ever to say such a thing to me and it came as rather a shock that someone could be so wrong. People look very different from a distance, you know. Really I have spots and a bent nose, my eyes are too small and I have a ridge over my eyes - hardly qualifications for beauty - but thank you very much, all the same, for saying it, as compliments always brighten a dull day.

Another thing about your crying. You say I probably don't care, but I do. It hurts me when anyone cries and I wanted to come and cheer you up or something but it was obviously impossible. But please don't do it again - especially not over me. I said at the beginning of this letter that I am not really worth it, and I mean that. If you knew me properly you would not think of crying over me. What was it exactly that happened? I heard someone "I take it all back" so possibly they said something about me. My answer is - let them! They only do it to tease you, not really to hurt me at all. If you take no notice they'll soon lose interest. I don't care what people say, some people get on all right with me, so why should it affect you?

This letter seems to be getting quite long even though it is only a lecture. You won't broadcast it too much that you've had a letter from me, will you? You can tell Jane or Penny if you like, as they wouldn't tell anyone if you ask them not to, but I'd rather you didn't say anything to One's. I don't want any of the staff to get to hear of it - they might, you know. I expect it is surprise enough to you that I have written at all. Are you in the infirmary? If Sister asks any questions you can just say I'm a devoted aunt or second cousin or something like that. I hope you are able to read my writing. It is pronounced illegible by some people!

With love from Jennifer"
Jennifer Bore, 5's and 8's 1953-1960
Jenny Pardington
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Post by Jenny Pardington »

I'm reading "Away from the Bombs and the Boys" at the moment and am astonished at how little the school changed between 1937 and 1960. Audrey Griggs could be writing my own experiences - of school, that is; her home life was very different.

Letters received in the holidays tended to be hugely long - 40 to 50 closely written pages of angst about parents, siblings, missing each other etc but this one from S.A.W. is a gem, I think, and thankfully shorter than most!

Saturday
Dear Jennifer,
I haven't got your letter yet but if I start writing now it won't be so much rush later. We are home at last and my report hasn't arrived yet. I have wild hopes that it has got lost. I am writing this whilst having lunch, that's why it won't be excessively tidy.

Sunday
Am now in bed trying to catch up with my diary - a hopeless job. I am starving but I can't have anything to eat as I am going to Communion at 10.30. At the moment it is 7.30 and what I shall be by lunchtime I dread to think.

We managed to get the letter out OK but there were piles more people hanging round and in the end we just opened the gate and walked innocently out.

After huge Sunday lunch
Any minute now a loud shriek will inform me that my presence is required for the washing up - a loathsome job. My hair has been sticking up ever since yesterday morning when I had a rather high class Eton crop. I can't look in the mirror without wanting to burst into tears and pull what little hair I have left out by the roots.

Yesterday afternoon we went to Covent Garden to see Danses Concertantes and Giselle. It was a very good programme and the scenery was simply lovely, specially Giselle. Anya Linden and David Blair took the leads and were both extremely convincing, doing a wonderful "mad scene". I got through two boxes of chocolates. I was so far away that my hand went mechanically into the box, as I explained to Mummy afterwards.

There is a new curate at church who, according to Paula (my friend) has livened things up considerably. I have been invited to an Easter Monday ramble and a Merrie England, St George's Day Social Dance.

We had an exhausting April Fool's morning. At 6 a.m. we posted warnings on Littledorm door. Exactly 30 minutes later we descended upon them and yanked them out of bed, leaving behind three mounds of bedclothes on the floor with three mons underneath them (Fran replaces Ann Mac as D.R.'s mon who replaces E.P.C. as 6's mon). They retaliated by filling the urn up with hot water and watching our faces as we were served with bowls of hot water. We all bore up nobly and our table swigged it back and demanded more.

I have broken the news to Mummy that I intend to be a kennel-maid and she has really taken it quite well. I am waiting for my report to arrive before I tell Daddy as I hope the caustic comments of the staff will press home my point. Anyway he knows that I have come second to bottom because I, in a foolish moment, told Mummy who of course rushed off and told him. Then they both got in a flap and phoned D.R. who saw them and told them that I don't work hard enough and I don't bother about my work and exams. This last gets my goat as I couldn't possibly have revised harder. Does she think I enjoy getting into an exam and finding I can't do a single question on the paper? Does she think it's a nice feeling? Because I can assure her it definitely is not. Never tell parents anything is my motto from now on. It just doesn't work. Tea is on the table so I must stop for a bit.

Monday afternoon
Back from an exhausting West End shopping session to find Daddy home from work and in bed with gastric flu. We have bought me a pair of brown casuals after trekking for miles and miles and miles. They weren't quite what I wanted but my feet were aching and Mummy's arthritic leg was crippling her so I took a deep breath and grabbed the nearest of the sea of shoes, much to the attendant's relief.

Tomorrow I meet Chris, but I can't for the life of me remember whether I said 11 or 11.15 and I don't know what we are doing as he didn't say. It's going to be one huge mystery trip.

This morning I babysat for Mummy's friend - 3 kids under five - I don't know how she stays sane. I spent the whole time stopping Janey pinching Pete's balloon and Micky from falling off the armchair where I wedged him for safety. At frequent intervals we all sat quietly while I doled out sweets for good behaviour. Then of course it was out with the flannel as they smeared all the chocolate round their faces. It was with great feelings of relief that I handed them over to their mother at lunchtime.

The ice cream van is in the next street and I am going to rush out and get one in a minute - my eighth since Friday!

Wednesday
We have just had the biggest row of all times about me being a kennelmaid and I'm so sick of it. We go round and round getting seemingly nowhere and all it does is get Daddy into a furious rage and make me so mad that I cry with fury. So it has been a lovely morning so far and I feel utterly sick and miserable and I hate everybody. I wish I was back at school. At least you are left to yourself a bit there. Then when I get back to school I want to be at home. I'm never satisfied, it seems.

My report arrived and it was quite good on the whole. Miss Gerrard let herself fly on chemistry, what with not attending in form and not trying. You just wait 'til I see her next term. But apart from this they must have been in a benevolent mood when writing it. Miss Mercer said my history was very promising. Ashy said "Stephanie continues to work well". I fear she would not be of this opinion if she saw what I do under cover of my angelic smile. Mrs Fiddaman said that I work well and make progress. Sure, when I miss half my lessons and most of my practices. Miss Wilson had the cheek to say that my work is sometimes thoughtless. I don't know how she can think things like that of me.

I feel slightly more cheerful now, thank heavens and not so much like throwing myself under a bus. I am going to meet A.M.W.P. and Orlaith and Margaret Stone at 11.30. We are "doing" the National Gallery to improve Margaret's mind as we have all agreed that it needs improving.

Later
More row and now they have definitely refused to pay for my training as a kennelmaid. How I hate them. I have to stand for hours listening to D's bosh about what he could have done if he had had the opportunities that I have. He doesn't seem to realise that he is thwarting and pushing aside my ambitions in exactly the same way that he is moaning about. Well, I suppose I shall have to be a vet now, and a jolly fine one I shall make, I'm sure. It's so stupid and I shall detest every minute of it. Mummy, trying to be kind, said that I can go to a kennels for some of the holidays. Talk about rubbing salt in the wounds, me having to see kennelmaids doing the very job that I want to do. Oh parents, they make me sick! I only wish the holidays were over. They're just trying to do what's best for me, as they keep forcing down my throat, and make me happy. I can just see how happy I shall be with eight years training ahead of me, even if I can scrape into a vet college, which I doubt. Sorry this letter is mainly taken up with grumbling but I've just got to tell someone or I shall go absolutely nuts here. Why can't they let me arrange my own life? If only I had parents who didn't care and said get on with it.

We had a nice time today in spite of the rain this afternoon. When we met in Trafalgar Square we saw people already lining up to see President and Mme de Gaulle go by so we decided to stay too. We were right at the front and were able to take our pick of the policemen. The one we stood behind seemed extremely interested in our riotous conversation and kept turning round. Margaret disgraced us all by shrieking "Vive la France" as the open carriage went by. After this we made a dash for Lyons and had a Wimpy and a milkshake. Margaret had brought some sandwiches so we sat on the grass in St James's Park and ate them. We also tried on each other's shoes and borrowed Margaret's coral pink lipstick and powder compact. We had a rather unfortunate episode in the Ladies as we were all determined to get in free and there was only one official free one which I grabbed. Margaret, not to be outdone, waited until a woman came out of one and put her hand on the door before it shut. Unfortunately the attendant (renamed by us the bog-hag) spotted her and dragged her out to put a penny in, muttering dark insults about people who tried to cheat. Needless to say we were all in fits which didn't improve the bog-hag's temper.

After this we visited the National Gallery and bought several postcards before retiring to the cafe for sustenance. In the summer we have decided to hire a boat and swim in the Serpentine.

I have just finished reading "The Kraken Wakes" by John Wyndham. Have you read any of his? They terrify me in places but it's impossible to put the book down.

We are going down to Weston on the 13th for nine days and it should be quite a hectic family party as an aunt and uncle arrive back from Kenya with two smallish cousins and we are eight already. I foresee that it will fall to my lot to keep the four kids amused.

Friday morning
I am now reclining in bed with gastric flu - the last one in the house to succumb. Anyway, it's some excuse to stay in bed. Mummy is sure that I ate too much. I don't see that it's gastric flu either as the worst thing is a ghastly headache which gets to bad at intervals that I can hardly see.

Saturday morning
Thanks for your letter. You ask for a quick reply so here it somes first post and I only hope it won't be overweight. I am up once more from my bed of pain. Daddy has just announced that he has got tickets for "The Merry Widow" at Covent Garden next Tuesday which should be good. We are going on a shopping spree next week to buy me a new swimming costume (school), new white shoes, gold cross and chain and white continental raincoat (birthday present).

I don't think there's much more news but may as well leave some room for stop press news if any.

R(pronto).S.V.P. Love from Stephanie

P.S. Glad you liked the card. I hoped you would. Chin up. Love S"
Jennifer Bore, 5's and 8's 1953-1960
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englishangel
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Post by englishangel »

Now I really want to know, did Stephanie become a vet, a kennelmaid or what?
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Post by Ajarn Philip »

It's been suggested before, Jenny, but I'll say it again. These are so interesting that you really should consider some sort of publication. How many are there?
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Post by Katharine »

More great stuff Jenny.

This must be Easter 1960, from the comments about Ann Mac and EPC. They were two of the 3 Senior VI in 6s in my first year. There were dire comments about EPC deserting her cricket team by leaving then - I never saw her play cricket, so can't comment about that. I remember Ann went on to do medicine (Edinburgh?), can't say about the others.

I'm surprised Miss Mercer was there then - I thought we still had Miss Page for History and Miss Mercer came at the end of that year.
Katharine Dobson (Hills) 6.14, 1959 - 1965
Jenny Pardington
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Post by Jenny Pardington »

englishangel wrote:Now I really want to know, did Stephanie become a vet, a kennelmaid or what?
Oh, I do wish I knew. We lost touch in the early sixties as our lives separated. I'll have to ask A.M.W.P. if she ever knew.
Jennifer Bore, 5's and 8's 1953-1960
Jenny Pardington
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Post by Jenny Pardington »

Katharine wrote:This must be Easter 1960, from the comments about Ann Mac and EPC. They were two of the 3 Senior VI in 6s in my first year. There were dire comments about EPC deserting her cricket team by leaving then - I never saw her play cricket, so can't comment about that. I remember Ann went on to do medicine (Edinburgh?), can't say about the others.

I'm surprised Miss Mercer was there then - I thought we still had Miss Page for History and Miss Mercer came at the end of that year.
You're definitely right on the date, though I'm ashamed to say I can't remember Ann Mac or EPC in any detail.

Nor can I put a date on when Miss Mercer arrived, but she definitely tried to see me through my A Level History that year; Miss Page died (of some kind of leukaemia??) and I was utterly devastated. She had begun my love of history and was hugely encouraging. She taught me never to take a second or third party source as accurate, but always to search for the primary source to get as near to the truth as possible. However, I believe Miss Mercer got better results!
Jennifer Bore, 5's and 8's 1953-1960
Jenny Pardington
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Post by Jenny Pardington »

Ajarn Philip wrote:These are so interesting that you really should consider some sort of publication. How many are there?
I think they're interesting, too! But I am wondering how they would best be put together. I haven't counted them, or even attempted to sort them (hence the double coverage of some things like Sports Day) and some of the great fat wodgy ones are less about school than about families and the horror of school holidays.

Maybe when I reach "the end" some idea or another will occur?

Does anyone know how you can get old black and white negatives printed these days? I've found a few and would like to see them properly!
Jennifer Bore, 5's and 8's 1953-1960
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Post by englishangel »

I think the 'Kodak' shops you see around should still be able to print black and white pictures, and restore them if the negs are a bit scratched.
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Post by icomefromalanddownunder »

englishangel wrote:I think the 'Kodak' shops you see around should still be able to print black and white pictures, and restore them if the negs are a bit scratched.
Yes, they can.

Even my cheapo home Epson scanner (designed to scan slides and negatives) will do it.

xx
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Post by Jenny Pardington »

Thanks for info about printing from old negatives - I'll search around for a place that can do it.

Next letter covers the thorny position of people who left CH to go to other schools. I kept in touch with at least two of them but, as you can tell from the contents, our usual attitude was somewhat hostile! The writer of this one went to Greycoat Hospital as a day girl.

"26 May 1959

Dear Jennifer,

Thank you very much for your card and note. It is wonderful to hear that you are in such high spirits and have restored me to my former place of affection! (That sounds good, don't it?). You will get your hanky from Sarah West. I was in fear and dread of writing to you and getting hellfire in return. So if Sarah appears worried at the breach between us, just assure her that all is well.

On Wednesday (tomorrow - I've just realised) I've got to go to the optician. I've told my mother I refuse to wear glasses, but I've got to go as the school doctor said I ought.

Jim (writer's brother or sister's boyfriend - I can't rmember. Ed) came down at the weekend. He bought me a lovely present - one of those clothes brushes with a leather top (genuine pigskin!) that zips open and inside is a comb, needles, darners, mending thread, scissors, nail file etc. Really very useful indeed for travelling. They are awfully expensive I know, so I dread to think how much it cost. He bought P. a heart-shaped locket that opens and she's put pictures of them both inside. Love! I am glad of this as it so happened that once she had another locket given to her by my aunt ages ago, and as she had not worn it for ages I gave it to Gillian for a leaving present! She has now stopped wondering where it got to, thank goodness.

I have just been sorting out old papers, etc. and reading letters from Gillian, Linda and others to me at C.H. It's awfully queer to read them now. It's a very sad thought that I'll never again see, talk to, or even write to them, but it's just something that has to be faced. I can't forget them, but they seem so completely removed from my life now that I can think of them without it really touching me, if you know what I mean. Please tell me any news you ever hear about O.Gs, especially those two.

I will stop now and write a letter to you all in general. By the way, I think Elizabeth's got some cheek. She wrote a postcard to thank me for a birthday card I sent her, and asked me to write, as she was interested to hear about G.C.H. She said "no hard feelings etc." You had better not read her this, but I think that's cheek, as I wrote a letter to Music Room ages ago, and got no reply except from you, who were corresponding with me anyway (that sounds good!). Also she does not know the private reasons why I left and has no right to talk of hard feelings. It's not a crime to leave one's school, especially if there is a good reason, which there was in my case. I hope you don't share these sentiments. Please tell me honestly - do all the others think like Elizabeth and condemn me for leaving? I have not heard a word from Rose or Sarah, with whom I was very friendly. Do you think they'd write if I made the first move and wrote to them themselves, not just a Music Room letter? It's a really horrible feeling that you will never have anything more to do with people with whom you've lived for nearly 5 years. Please can you answer this seriously and truthfully, as I'd hate them to feel obliged to write when they did not want to have anything more to do with me.

2nd thoughts - if they condemn me for leaving, what are their reasons? What am I accused of having done? Or is the fact of leaving an abstract horror which must inevitably be looked upon with loathing? If I am rather despised for deserting my friends, please believe me when I say that this was not done lightly, and I miss you all ever so much.

Sorry to have turned so serious. I will now forget all that. Longing to hear all your news. Thank you again for your gorgeous card. I trust you didn't celebrate in that manner.

Yours with lots and lots of love from Caroline"
Jennifer Bore, 5's and 8's 1953-1960
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Post by Alexandra Thrift »

Thankyou so much Jennifer for going to the trouble of publishing your letters on the internet for us.

They are a wonderful social document.

Liz Jay ( Plummer 6s number 30 ...wasn't it ?) left to go to a forces day school in Germany where her father taught (?). I think it was after the Lower fifth. I was devastated and felt quite deserted and unloved....I wondered if I had done anything "wrong" but I didn't really hold a resentment towards Liz. I accepted that these were my own feelings and not Lizzie's fault. We kept up a lively correspondence (with illustrations even) for some time. I wonder if Liz still has any of those letters?

I don't think I ever told Liz how abandoned I felt.Somehow it just wasn't done.

I felt similarly when Caroline and Susan Knight left. I guess everything is so intense at that age ,especially in the micro-cosmic world of CH Hertford.
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Post by icomefromalanddownunder »

Alexandra Thrift wrote:I felt similarly when Caroline and Susan Knight left. I guess everything is so intense at that age ,especially in the micro-cosmic world of CH Hertford.
I was so relieved that my parents were willing to support my escape, and miffed at myself for not having expressed my wishes earlier, that I'm not sure that I stopped to consider the feelings of those I left behind. Plus, my self esteem took such a battering during my early days at CH (think it's just about recovered in last few years) that I didn't like myself at all, so couldn't have imagined that anyone else thought too much of me, or would miss me.

I haven't yet scanned or posted Alex's contribution to my autograph book, as I wasn't sure which thread to stick it into. All has now been revealed - if Jenny is OK with it I will post it here, but not until Monday, as I forgot to bring the book into Uni with me and the on button of my home computer is stuck in the off position :?

xx
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Post by englishangel »

I never felt anandoned by anyone who left, just miffed (what a lovely word) that they had got away and I hadn't.
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