Parental Contribution

[wurzel]

I know how you feel. After the CH rejection we where invited to try a different independent school for a specialist Maths scholarship that stated it would be to cater for gifted mathematicians irrespective of financial circumstance or background. Son was assessed as truly gifted (we knew that as he has been doing work with local secondary school and been graded at Lv8a in Maths) and we were advised he would be offered a scholarship place and details on way - they arrived and were 30% of full fees which as he would have to board meant still £16k pa so well well well outside our limits and hardly irrespective of financial circumstance.

Now some local anonymous busybodies have also tried to trigger a ballot to force Reading School (that he has been offered) to lose it's grammar status and ability to select on ability with an 11+.

I hope you have a decent local alternative and can still get a place - but any child capable of a CH offer is going to be able to do well whever they end up - they may just need more fo your time and support

[TrueBlue]

The level of contribution, or sacrifice, or measure of financial need will vary from school to school. If you have a gifted child, you are fortunate in that many schools, day and boarding, will wish to have your child as an exemplar to others in the school. If this is the case then my advice is to seek a number of scholarship/bursary places, even after the closing dates. Believe it or not, many Independent Schools are finding it difficult to properly and fully allocate their bursary funds as not enough clever poor children apply.

[wurzel]

Sorry looked at that - unless you qualify for free school meals you do not classify as poor enough for most schools (helps with their charitable status). We have 3 children under 11 and live in Berkshire so need a high headline salary to even meet basic costs of housing and childcare before food clothing etc. My wife works and almost all her salary goes on the childcare to cover her working (over the summer she loses money every week)

[CHDad]

I think that sorting out your children's education is ridiculously stressful. I have two children in state schools and we have to help them a lot in the evenings and weekends to make sure they attain their potential. Now they are doing their GCSEs this is particularly stressful. I have one child at CH and there you have the stress of affording the fees! Even then he came home at half term worrying about end of year 2 exams - more stress!

Either way it is difficult, I think the only solution is to be very wealthy! However most of the wealthy people I know are unhappy, divorced, workaholics etc etc !!!

[juicymum]

That is very true. I have one in university .one at CH and a nine year old. I am a single parent, and I find that I have hardly any money left at the end of the month.
My fees have gone up by almost 10% this year, because I do not have childcare costs any more. It is tough,and I guess I have to start looking for the recipe for imaginery beans on toast and stone soup for the next few years. Younger daughter also wants to come to CH). On a more positive my son has BLOSSOMED into a fine young man. Its only his first year and his confidence has just soared. He LOVES the school and is doing very well. Dare I complain

[YadaYada]

Don't know why I torture myself reading this thread! Still waiting for the assessment for next year's fees. Pay frozen but am expecting fees to go up - just want to know by how much. I wonder why some people have had their re-assessment already and others haven't.

BUT, it is definitely worth any sacrifice.

[Dr Mummy]

It is interesting that similar themes seem emerge which make the contribution feasible or not. Notably - low to middle income earners seem to suffer as a drop in tax credit,fr example, is not reflected in a drop in fees; living in parts of the country which are more expensive for the basics; other unaviodable costs that are not taken into account e.g essential work related costs and travel; having a mortgage that is high in relation to ones salary; and having other children at home. For oneself sacrificing all but the essentials maybe an option but when one has other young children this is neither possible nor fair. The fact that some parents are forced into remortgaging suggests that the assessment process does not fairly reflect individual family circumstances. This was not even an option open to myself as I have already done this to pay for essential maintenance!!

[lonelymom]

I'm wondering how remortgaging works as an option? Not that I can, I was just wondering?

[cupcakemom]

Yada Yada - I too have watched this thread develop with an impending sense of doom ... I too have yet to receive my fee notification ... I simply assume it's because my surname begins with a "W" and perhaps they are done in alphabetical order ... oh, for my surname to be Aardvark!

Dr. Mummy - if I had the words to express how I feel about your situation I would have posted them - and I doubt I'm alone in this. Gutted is about all I can come up with right now.

When I applied to CH for my dd I also applied to a local independent school who advertised up to 100% bursaries (the local state school at which my dd was given a place has currently banned bicycles ... because the tyres keep getting slashed ...!). I had a dreadful conversation with the bursar of said independent school late one evening with regards my application. They were offering me 30% discount of fees for my dd .. not to be sniffed at but certainly not what I could afford. This "delightful" woman asked me what I "did" for money. I do just about anything I can to bring in the money - I'm self employed which allows me to do several different jobs at the same time - baking, clerical work, bookkeeping, sewing, alterations, soap making, car boots, all sorts ... as long as it's legal! She then informed me if I "bothered" to look for salaried employment I should be able to afford full fees .... With no "high end" qualifications under my belt and a single parent with two children to support - all I would be able to do would be make enough money to pay for child care .... a no win situation in my opinion. I may not have much "disposable income" but I'm able to be at home for my girls, a sacrifice worth making in my opinion.

Not sure why I've shared all this - I have a feeling I've bottled it up somewhat! At least here I can share it with like minds and sympathetic ears ... well, let's hope so!

I think what I'm trying to say is had I thrown in the towel and done absolutely nothing with regards earning money and showing my children a positive work ethic I would probably be better off financially - thanks to state support.

All I need to do now is find out how much I'll get if I sell a kidney and hope that'll cover a few terms at CH for my dd!! Hmmm, I wonder if my mother needs 2 kidneys at 71?!

[lonelymom]

If you get a good price for your kidney can you let me know, cos I have one I can sell too! I also have one eyeball I could sell, some hair and half a liver - all with only one previous owner (was going to say 'careful' but realised I could probably get sued for mis-advertising)

[Dr Mummy]

Cupcakemom - this is my gripe too. As a single mum I seem to work every hour under the sun to provide for my children. If I claimed off the state instead I would no doubt not have had to withdraw my daughter from CH! A bitter pill to swallow!

[pinkhebe]

regarding remortgaging, I'm not sure this is exactly what we are doing. We have an offset mortgage so we can reborrow the fees, I just have to re adjust my repayments. I've worked out my repayments on a mortgage of 5.5% (currently with the favourable rates it's 2.9%) so we're overpaying at the moment.

My P60 arrived today, postmarked 26th May! So maybe your contribution notification is also sitting in a royal mail black hole

I am however having a huge wobble about it all because of the fee issues, and need a slap with a wet kipper

[englishangel]

Oh, you guys crack me up with your humour when everything seems to be crashing around you.

I say 'seems' because with parents like you lot your children can only do well wherever they are.

[pinkhebe]

Yadda, it's interesting what you say about it being worth the sacrifice, I agree, but I worry about my second son, who is not academic. I feel I am treating him as second best, because there is no way we can afford to give him the same standard education that our first son will receive

[Fairy]

All of us are doing the best we can for our kids, we work hard and take pride in what we do and for that we can be proud. Whatever their course in life these wonderful children have loving, supportive parents and they are going to be amazing adults. Dr Mummy the offer is still there x