A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

This section was setup in August 2018 in order to move the existing related discussions from other sections into this new section to group them together, and separate from the other CH-related topics.

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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by scrub » Sun Jul 08, 2018 9:42 pm

Thank you for posting this. The amount of courage and determination you've shown to see this through is truly amazing and the personal toll you've paid is on a scale I can barely comprehend.

To echo other's words, this should never have happened to you or anyone else. There is a deep-felt sorrow that it did and no small amount of anger that it took so long to be brought into the light.
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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by Jim Rayner » Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:09 pm

Thank you for sharing this message. I can't think of anything adequate to say. It's just heartbreaking to hear what you've been put through.

I hope you will be able to draw strength from seeing Husband and Dobbie put behind bars, and that you get all the support you will need to help you rebuild your life.

Like everybody else I am so very sorry and angry about all that you and the other victims have had to endure.
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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by Observer » Mon Jul 09, 2018 7:31 am

There will be no one who can remain unmoved by the power of this statement and we are all humbled by its author's bravery.

I feel embarrassed as an Old Blue that my old school could treat the complainant so contemptibly and that the Chaplaincy was so utterly corrupt and cowardly at the very moment that it was called upon to do its moral and Christian duty.

I have been fairly passive as an Old Blue over the years (this is my first post on this forum having visited anonymously for years), however, I cannot stand by any longer. I have to come out, and would urge fellow Old Blues to do the same, to show support for all the victims so badly let down by our old school, a school whose proudly vaunted Christian ethos should have guaranteed support for the vulnerable.

Instead, as this desperate lady found, what should have been a refuge from an abusive home was the sexual playground of two devious and manipulative child abusers; with, it seems, several others lurking in the shadows.

One of the most poignant parts of an otherwise harrowing statement was the strength the author drew from reading the comments posted on here. We should thank and acknowledge the exemplary role Julian Taylor has played in facilitating communications during its unfolding.

May those of us who have survived, flourished and prospered as a result of our time at CH show support for others who have been let down by it and express our displeasure with an institution that failed to live by the standards it inculcated in all who passed through it’s doors.
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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by DeletedAccount » Mon Jul 09, 2018 8:19 am

Observer/Sandy: Spot on!
Very well put.
On all fronts
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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by jakew » Mon Jul 09, 2018 10:01 am

I think that my more direct awareness - due to being male - of what Dobbie was up to meant that I was initially more angry about Dobbie than about Husband.

Reading this has changed my perspective about the whole affair.

No more words other than to wish the victim the best in rebuilding her life from here.

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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by marty » Mon Jul 09, 2018 10:51 am

jakew wrote:
Mon Jul 09, 2018 10:01 am
I think that my more direct awareness - due to being male - of what Dobbie was up to meant that I was initially more angry about Dobbie than about Husband.

Reading this has changed my perspective about the whole affair.

No more words other than to wish the victim the best in rebuilding her life from here.
I have to admit that whilst I thought Dobbie was eccentric I never thought it was any more than that. However I had cause to revisit my naive views on him in late 2016. We had our 20 year reunion in June 2016 in central London. The school booked us a room in The National Gallery for 2 hours after which we all piled in to a pub over the road. Although I didn't see him myself, Dobbie appeared (briefly) outside the pub (accompanied by a young boy) only to be promptly told to leave. At the time I simply thought this was odd as this was an OB only event and no teachers (past or present) attended. However, a few months later in November the news of the arrests broke - Dobbie had been arrested in January and presumably was on bail or under caution. It became apparent that his appearance at the reunion was unlikely to have been a friendly social call, or at the very least was highly inappropriate.

And yes it was reported to the police and statements were taken from those who saw him.
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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by richardb » Mon Jul 09, 2018 12:09 pm

I think this thread epitomises why the forum should remain open.

Everyone should be able to read this without needing to register.
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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by Janey Jam-Jar » Mon Jul 09, 2018 12:11 pm

To the author of the statement and to other victims.

Thank you for coming forwards. In doing that you not only affect your own life in moving forwards, but you directly help every other victim of abuse. I might not know you personally but I hold you in my heart and I sincerely hope that you are able to find resolution for yourself. I wish you peace.

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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by Mid A 15 » Mon Jul 09, 2018 12:18 pm

richardb wrote:
Mon Jul 09, 2018 12:09 pm
I think this thread epitomises why the forum should remain open.

Everyone should be able to read this without needing to register.
In the context of your comment on another thread: 'LIKE'

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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by Bishbashbosh » Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:33 am

If you could pass this on to the relevant lady, and indeed any other victims with whom you are in contact:

I'm one of the other victims, and was questioned in court. All I will say is I am male and Dobbie not Husband. I have no idea how large or small a part my testimony played as I am wholly unaware of the other victims identities and what was done to them beyond the press coverage.

We are not at fault. We never were. We were children. Doubly vulnerable by dint of being away from family and friends. The only fault in any of this lies with the perpetrators, not us.

Eating disorders are not uncommon among abuse survivors (and we are all survivors), due to the nature of sexual abuse and the removal of autonomy. Eating disorders tend to crop up as a form of regaining control over some aspect of your life. That is also not your fault. Looking ahead, there is no magic wand to fix things, it is a process over time for things to improve, but you, more than any of the rest of us, took control back in the biggest way possible: You made the case happen. Without you, I would likely never have come forward. Without you, I would have had to endure the struggle to be believed, and I don't know if I would have had the strength and resilience you showed throughout.

You will bounce back. Slowly, to be sure. But the hardest part is over. They were found guilty of all charges. We were believed. We were vindicated. Finally. So thank you. Thank you for coming forward, and making them listen. Thank you for allowing me to come forward and tell what happened to me too. Thank you for opening the door, and then holding it open, to justice. I never thought it really affected me, what happened. What was done to me. But the sense of relief when I heard the verdict proved otherwise. A weight I didn't even know I carried was lifted (such a cliche but it really describes it perfectly).

So, just... thank you.
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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by richardb » Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:42 am

Thank you for sharing how you feel.

There is unanimity amongst the former pupils on here that all over you were absolutely appallingly treated and deserve our unqualified and unconditional support. We all believe in you and many of us were willing the jury to find them both guilty.

You are right that it will be a very long and slow process in rebuilding your lives. The extent to which the ordeal of giving evidence and being accused of lying shatters you as a person should not be underestimated.

We know not if the school is doing anything to help and support you at these difficult times. If not, then the school should be.

I think I speak on behalf of all former pupils in expressing the hope that if there anything that any of us can do to help, you need only say.

You have all shown incredible courage and we all salute you.
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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by Katharine » Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:53 am

richardb wrote:
Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:42 am
We know not if the school is doing anything to help and support you at these difficult times. If not, then the school should be.

I think I speak on behalf of all former pupils in expressing the hope that if there anything that any of us can do to help, you need only say.

You have all shown incredible courage and we all salute you.
I'm sure I speak on behalf of Hertford Old Girls to echo that, as soon as I hear BSB are helping, my donation will be in the post.

I've read the posts on here in mounting horror, and growing sorrow that an institution I had revered all my life could have let this happen. I have been at a total loss of words to say.
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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by jtaylor » Wed Jul 11, 2018 6:09 pm

I've been sent the following, from the original poster above, just to provide some first-hand experience of the police' response:
I know you have already suggested that people go directly to the police and give their details, but if it's possible, please would you tell the forum that the Sussex Police Complex Abuse Team are enormously supportive and highly professional while still being human and compassionate?

Without the support of two police officers in the team I really don't think I would have been able to get through the whole initial complaint to court process. They were even hugely supportive in court. I was enormously impressed with them. I highly recommend going directly to the police where they will find officers who listen, care, and have empathy while being impressively professional.
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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by KerryKidd » Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:28 am

I think that any attempt to help victims needs to be aware that the school may have also sanctioned or allowed abuse to continue of vulnerable parents as well. Please delete this post if it is not appropriate.

A close relative, who is unfortunately now dead, was approached by an office colleague in some distress. She was a single mother who was applying to have her daughter come to C.H. as a Presentation candidate. One of the governors considering her daughter tried to suggest that a presentation award might be forthcoming if she slept with him. My relative contacted the school on her behalf. The school official laughed and said that particular governor was notorious for that and they would have a word with him.

I have very little faith in an enquiry. But any enquiry would need to cover the situation of vulnerable parents as well.

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Re: A post on behalf of one of the Dobbie/Husband victims

Post by richardb » Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:36 am

You don't surprise me in the slightest.

The press ran the stories - at least in part - on the basis that pupils were from disadvantaged families. So the parents would be desperate to get their children into the school. Hence exploiting the parents.

The other angle of course was the £31000 a year fees. Doesn't sit happily with disadvantage.

This just gets worse at every turn.

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