Weddings...

[englishangel]

Well if that's the way your mind works Philip!

[Angela Woodford]

Thanks very much, Philip!

Tell you what, when all this wedding stuff is over, I'll ring up Billy Crystal and we'll come and do the restaurant scene for one of your drama classes.

I haven't seen the film for a bit, but I'm always up for a bit of impro!

[englishangel]

The first time I saw it was on a plane, and they hadn't cut the restaurant scene because of young children, I suppose they thought they wouldn't understand it.

[CHAZ]

I'll have what she's having...CLASSIC....

I guess from that day on, all men knew that women really do FAKE!!!

PS I think the lady who witnessed the scene was in fact Billy Crystal's Mum!

[J.R.]

I'll have what she's having...CLASSIC....

I guess from that day on, all men knew that women really do FAKE!!!

PS I think the lady who witnessed the scene was in fact Billy Crystal's Mum!

You are absolutely correct, Chaz.

[Ajarn Philip]

I guess from that day on, all men knew that women really do FAKE!!!

Sorry, I have to set the scene before I say this - super-cool middle-aged man, shirt unbuttoned to reveal a hairy chest and a gaudy gold chain; sunglasses perched precariously above forehead on dark toupee which does not match grey sideburns; beer belly that can be held in for a few seconds, but only a few...; drives an 8-year old mid-range sports car...; nodding knowingly, smiling condescendingly:

"Not all women, Chaz, not all..."


Damn, you got me!

[CHAZ]

I guess from that day on, all men knew that women really do FAKE!!!

Sorry, I have to set the scene before I say this - super-cool middle-aged man, shirt unbuttoned to reveal a hairy chest and a gaudy gold chain; sunglasses perched precariously above forehead on dark toupee which does not match grey sideburns; beer belly that can be held in for a few seconds, but only a few...; drives an 8-year old mid-range sports car...; nodding knowingly, smiling condescendingly:

"Not all women, Chaz, not all..."


Damn, you got me!

Oh no Philip, not a gold chain and toupee!! Surely not you the suave and loquacious ex pat in Thailand...?

[Ajarn Philip]

Getting back to topic (sorry, Angela!), I might just post a wedding photo or two next year and you'll be able to see for yourself!

[gma]

Getting back to topic (sorry, Angela!), I might just post a wedding photo or two next year and you'll be able to see for yourself!

Is there something that either you or M'sell Blondie95 would like to share with the group, Prof U?

[Ajarn Philip]

Not unless she has a hairy chest and wears a toupee, etc, etc...

Nah, I'm tying the knot (literally, as a matter of mild interest) in March!

[kerrensimmonds]

Will there be a water buffalo in the wedding photo.....?
Congratulations anyway - hope you have a wonderful day. In Thailand, I presume?

[icomefromalanddownunder]

Nah, I'm tying the knot (literally, as a matter of mild interest) in March!

My daughter and sil also included a hand binding in their wedding ceremony, and I was given the task of actually tying the knot, the only instructions being that if the knot came undone the marriage would fail.

I was quite excited at actually being given a part to play in proceedings, other than passing over handfuls of dollar bills, scouring ebay for cheap marquees, chocolate fountains, etc, and was assured that the Celebrant would give me full instructions at the rehearsal, scheduled for 1pm the day before the wedding.

I also suggested that, rather than using a piece of pink (choice of colour very important, due to certain symbolisms) ribbon provided by the Celebrant, that I embroider a length of pink linen. 'Yeah, OK' enthused my grateful daughter.

I had such plans: their names and the date, of course. Roses, lavender and sheaves of wheat for England and John's agricultural leanings. Wattles, bottlebrushes, gum leaves and something equestrian for Jess. Found some linen. Purchased some embroidery silks. Remembered how to perform drawn thread work, and edged the strip of linen. Practised bullion knots, and more bullion knots. Purchased new glasses with stronger prescription, that made threading the needles much easier, but exposed my bullion knots as below standard

After much lamenting and tearing of hair I confessed to Jess that the task was far beyond my current capabilities, and that all I could manage was to cross stitch their names and the date. 'Yeah. OK' enthused Jess.

Jess' Hens' Night was held two nights before the wedding (I was rostered on at the path lab and didn't attend), and my family arrived from England early the following morning. The plan was that we would all be at the airport to meet them, settle them at their apartment, then head for the wedding rehearsal. Jess was not at the airport and didn't answer her phone. I couldn't drag myself away from the family and didn't make the rehearsal, so still had no idea what was expected of me.

The great day dawned. The ceremony was scheduled for 1pm. After rescuing my repaired flat tyre, surviving a persistent and strident fire alarm at the supermarket ("No need to evacuate, it's just the smoke from the bbq'd chickens') while purchasing soft drinks and tomato sauce, not strangling my mother for her disparaging remarks about my outfit, I asked where the embroidered linen was. Jess had no idea. 'Oh well' I chirped 'never mind. Here's some blue ribbon, we can use that'. The Celebrant turned the colour of the ribbon, explaining, through clenched teeth that the colour is all important and that her inspirational words would explain why Jess and John had chosen to be bonded with PINK ribbon. Fortunately Jess flipped from rude, stressed out bride mode to 'disconcertingly organised' (according to her current boss) stablehand mode, and found the linen.

I bound them together by means of a tight, tight reef knot (I think that I was supposed to use a bow) and so far, despite the fact that John doesn't put out the rubbish, leaves his dirty undies in the middle of the bedroom floor, and makes a mess when he cooks, they are still cohabiting.


xxx

[CHAZ]

Not unless she has a hairy chest and wears a toupee, etc, etc...

Nah, I'm tying the knot (literally, as a matter of mild interest) in March!

Have you seen her avatar?! can't imagine Blondie being anything like that!!! Indeed she did mention on a thread that she is tall 5"9 and leggy!!!

Anyway march is soon around the corner so we want PICS!!!

[blondie95]

363 days to go!!!!!!!

[Angela Woodford]

My daughter and sil also included a hand binding in their wedding ceremony, and I was given the task of actually tying the knot, the only instructions being that if the knot came undone the marriage would fail.

I also suggested that I embroider a length of pink linen.

I had such plans: their names and the date, of course. Roses, lavender and sheaves of wheat for England and John's agricultural leanings. Wattles, bottlebrushes, gum leaves and something equestrian for Jess. Found some linen. Purchased some embroidery silks. Remembered how to perform drawn thread work, and edged the strip of linen. Practised bullion knots, and more bullion knots.

After much lamenting and tearing of hair I confessed to Jess that the task was far beyond my current capabilities, and that all I could manage was to cross stitch their names and the date. 'Yeah. OK' enthused Jess.

After rescuing my repaired flat tyre, surviving a persistent and strident fire alarm at the supermarket

I bound them together by means of a tight, tight reef knot

EEEEKK! AARGHHH!

I was just amazed by this, and have quoted the bits by which I feel particularly amazed!

(Terrific writing by the way, Caroline...)

Imagine getting one's Needlework in on time, whilst being plan-and-organise MOB! And being able to change a tyre!

Perhaps somewhere from way Down Below Down Under, SWSNBN, her solid form lit up against the infernal fires is nodding with quivering jowls in a sort of grudging approval. (I imagine that one of her tasks for the rest of all eternity is picking lost needles out of the cracks of an endless landcape of parquet flooring. For every needle retrieved, cackling abusive demons drop another 100 ahead of her, taunting her with charity status, with the prospect of Never Finishing and an inevitable Below Standard. Yeah... )

I particularly like the concept of the bullion knots - best representation of future prosperity these days - and the Reef knot - very antipodean!

So I feel that, as a representative of those never-forgotten grim days, you must be awarded a

Commendation!

from us all. If not the Bookends themselves!

4 days to go. I think if I'd got a hand-binding to perform I'd be even more terrified.