Any other CH parents here?

[blondie95]

although i cant comment about going away so young, i went to ch at 16. Although my dad taught there those two years of living in a boarding house set me up for uni. I learnt how to live with people, how to cook (to an extent) and generally take care for myself.

If you did not miss him then i would be surprised. Im sure he thinks about you and when you do get to see him you will have so much to talk about.

[huggermugger]

Gosh, what a lot of replies! Thank you all for your kind thoughts and warm welcome (s). You have all been very kind but I must warn you that at this stage kindness affects me strangely...

Thanks for sharing your own experiences. I do have a daughter of 21 who is at Liverpool Uni but she didn't go away to school so I seem to have done the whole thing back to front. I have to say that at the time she was being so foul it was quite a relief to have a break from her! (She grew up fairly quickly & went back to being lovely) So One wasn't really preparation for the other.

As for sending them away at 8 & not seeing them during term-time - ouch.

[huggermugger]

"Seriously, lots of letter writing may help - the children love receiving letters from home, friends, relations, especially as everything is done by text or phone these days ..... and it might encourage them to write back! "

Some hope, Mrs C! He has had parcels from me (Forgotten toothbrush etc), my mother (souvenir from her holiday), his big sister (new compass & spare ink cartridges) and his godmother (a photo of me as she was astounded I hadn't left him with one) as well as cards/letters from at least three of his friends and a further two of mine... none of which has so far jogged him into replying to any os us, Herrumph.

I know no news is good news; I just don't like it.

[Mrs C.]

I can imagine how you feel - but to be honest , he probably has no time to write back, he will be so busy. The children really do lead a very full life here, particularly to start with , when the emphasis is very much on getting them settled and feeling part of the school, leaving little time for much else.

Rest assured, he`ll be fine - you`d soon hear if he wasn`t! Honestly!!

He`ll probably talk non-stop at Leave Weekend - or sleep! And eat!

[huggermugger]

Thanks for posting this. I've had 5 minutes of free auto-therapy from it this morning.
Years and years after CH, I talked to my mum about this. I had always assumed that they dropped me off at school and then never gave me a second thought until I miraculously turned up at Sheffield Station 10 weeks later! I interpreted their happiness and pride that I'd got the big chance of going away to school, as "glad to be rid of me". I think what I'm saying is, it would have been nice for ME (perhaps not everyone) if my parents had told me, not that they were miserable, just that they were thinking about me a lot. (Just once would have been enough, I wouldn't have wanted them to go on ad on about it!) It's an important lesson to learn in life; that you can live quite happily while still missing someone.

This is interesting - I told him before he went that I would miss him (he told me he'd miss the dog) but I think the received wisdom is that we musn't tell them we miss them as that will set them off, either missing us or worrying about us. I agree with the important lesson - it's one I'm trying to learn right now...

I think he does know I miss him & love him, but I guess your parents thought so in your case. What's obvious to one side is not always so obvious to the other, particularly as children don't necessarily have the tools to see things the way we do. Thought provoking - thank you!

[huggermugger]

I can imagine how you feel - but to be honest , he probably has no time to write back, he will be so busy. The children really do lead a very full life here, particularly to start with , when the emphasis is very much on getting them settled and feeling part of the school, leaving little time for much else.

Rest assured, he`ll be fine - you`d soon hear if he wasn`t! Honestly!!

He`ll probably talk non-stop at Leave Weekend - or sleep! And eat!

Mrs C, you're very kind, thank you. And I do know that I would have heard if things were going badly. I do trust people at CH to look after him; his housemaster is lovely and he has an absolute star of a nursemaid. I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself, not helped by the fact that I've had a bug for the last few days. It would be a lot easier if I could be busy - less time to brood!

[Mrs C.]

I`ve sent you a PM

[huggermugger]

I remembermy first two and a half weeks fairly vividly. I was so homesick, it was unbelievable. I cried and cried. I plotted to get expelled. I called home and begged my parents to come get me. I wrote them letters telling them that they surely didn't care about me, because i was suffering and they weren't doing anything about it.

I don't exactly know what happened next, but we had a leave day (oh, yes just one day) after three weeks, and I couldn't wait to get back. Half term came three weeks later and I enjoyed the break, but again, i wanted to get back. CH had become my home then, and being on holiday meant just that. It was temporary. Going back to school after a long break was always a bit tough, but only because I had gotten into the habit of being lazy, and suddenly had to do work again. The independence that CH bestowed on me was perhaps the greatest part of the whole experience.

So to the mothers out there, don't worry about your kids. It's much harder on you than it is on them.

This probably wasn't meant to make me laugh, but it did - shades of that record "Hello Mudder, Hello Fadder" about the boy who went away to summer camp - showing my age I think

I'm incredibly glad I'm not on the receiving end of all that! Sorry - I don't mean to be unsympathetic. I would just find him being that homesick almost unbearable. I'm glad for all concerned that you came through it.

[midget]

How lovely to have CH parents here.

Like Mrs C's, my daughter is off to Uni at the end of this week (her Facebook comment "I am so excited I could wet myself") and I am going to miss her like billy-o. I still have 2 boys at home.

My husband is a twin and I can remember his mother saying that when he and his brother went to Uni at the same time she and Dad walked around the silent house bumping into each other for about a week before they realised they could get their life back.

For the thoughts of someone from the other side (albeit going to CH for the first time at 16) you should check the "Deputy Grecian 2007-?" forum

(edited - I really should read what I have written before I post)

Welcome from another (very) old Blue. I'm sure you'll find reassurance from the thread quoted above- Gemma has kept us enthralled by her excitement for the past few months. I was well used to being away from my parents by the time I went to CH at 11, as I had been evacuated from the start of the war-1939, until the end of 1943, and had seen my parents at most once a year.
Children are mostly pretty resilient but they do LOVE to have letters.

[huggermugger]

I've just had a call (unsolicited) from his housemaster (lovely man) to say that he is "immensely happy and having a wonderful time"

(you haven't got a "put the flags out" or "phew, what a relief" emoticon...)

Darn children. If I'd known, I'd have stuck to dogs.

[Mrs C.]

I won`t say it.....!!!!!

I`m pleased to hear that - but didn`t doubt it for a second!

[huggermugger]

I won`t say it.....!!!!!

Feel free!

I expect you've seen it all before..

[Mrs C.]

OK then - " told you so!!"

[huggermugger]

I think we still have the stamped addressed postcards somewhere - I don't think I ever received one even though the post box was in sight of his House

The trouble with the Leave Weekends is that I find the children are exhausted on the Friday night, sleep in late on the Saturday and don't really "defrost" until the Sunday when it's time to go back again!

I seem to be painting an awfully dark picture for you but to be quite honest my children love CH so much that they can't wait to get back to their friends and though I feel sad that they're off again I also feel really pleased that they're happy and then I know we've made the right choice. It definitely does get easier I promise you.

I think it really helps too to have houseparents who are parent-friendly - we've been lucky! I think also the children are kept so busy that they have very little time to be homesick.

HTH - next Friday will be here before you know it and a couple of weeks after that they have the two weeks for half term

This was & is really helpful - thanks. We have been warned they'll be really tired which could make for an interesting weekend as he is foul when tired & that weekend is also my daughter's 21st birthday so we will have a lot of visitors/family party etc. Only another week and a bit to go!

PS - I'm glad you came out of the woodwork!

[Katharine]

As for sending them away at 8 & not seeing them during term-time - ouch.

In September 1982, when our elder son started (all of 8 years 6 months) I had brought him back to Britain leaving younger one, Patrick, and husband in Sabah. We went to buy the uniform and the ghoul behind the counter looked at her lists and said 'Ooh we had another lady from Borneo last week - she'd left her little one behind, it got stung by a jellyfish and died' I can still hear the ghoulish glee in her voice. You can imagine how I felt. What I did not know was that my husband had had an urgent call to Kuala Lumpur and Patrick was then living it up staying with his best friend in the Governor's Residence and being taken to school in the Rolls!