Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

bluegrunt wrote:

NEILL THE NOTORIOUS wrote:Didn't get bullied, at all, in Ba B in the 40s.
This may have had something to do with the fact that I was from Pre-War Stockwell SE9 !

Not wishing to rain on your parade, but since when was Stockwell in SE9?

My guess is that Neill meant SW9.

"W" and "E" are next to each other so an easy typo to make.

(That's the last time I defend you Evans! )

Mid A 15 wrote:

bluegrunt wrote:

NEILL THE NOTORIOUS wrote:Didn't get bullied, at all, in Ba B in the 40s.
This may have had something to do with the fact that I was from Pre-War Stockwell SE9 !

Not wishing to rain on your parade, but since when was Stockwell in SE9?

My guess is that Neill meant SW9.

"W" and "E" are next to each other so an easy typo to make.

(That's the last time I defend you Evans! )

SE9 was where I grew up, Eltham.

Council estate all my life, except for CH, of course.

Initially I took my father's advice to fight back, until I realised that my opponent was considerably larger and older (7 to my 5), and I found other ways of surviving.
Can't say I noticed bullying in Barnes B (59 - 66), but that was probably me not bothering to get involved.

jhopgood wrote:Can't say I noticed bullying in Barnes B (59 - 66)

There was very little bullying in Barnes B in my time (46-52)...
But I was once severely 'bullied' by the House Master who was standing behind me when I was busy rubbing out one side of the letter 'U' in the notice on the back door which read "PLEASE SHUT THE DOOR"

Surely Stockwell is in S.W. 9 not S.W. 19
Chris Bartlett

I think the whole bullying thing is constantly looked on with rose-tinted glasses by a lot of people as "part of growing up". At the time it is a horrific experience and quite often you feel so alone and embarrassed even trying to seek help.

Not everyone gets bullied, but if you are not seen to "conform", this often sets you up as a target. From my own experience it was all about them a) wanting a reaction and b) trying to make themselves feel superior in the House pecking order. If it can be taken with a bit of tongue in cheek humour and no reaction it does eventually subside. It never goes away, because that's what teenagers are like - there's always time to have a dig at someone else's expense. Thankfully I was never subject to much physical bullying (a good right hook helped in one instance - not something I'm proud of) but the mental side can be draining and debilitating, especially if it's constant.

I met up with a contemporary who was quite cruel on occasion some 20 years after we left CH (no names mentioned) and he had the decency and courage to apologise for being unpleasant. This was something I did not expect and it was a very nice surprise. Once out of the environment where you don't have to "prove" your worth things are very different. There will always be the "cool" crowd in life, but I have often found them to be extremely shallow individuals who only know one to better themselves and that is to belittle others. I'd sooner be happy than shallow.

So sorry that was your experience, CHBlogspot. That can leave deep wounds. Hope the rest of your life has been happier.

I'd like to apologise for taking this important thread off topic with my quest for geographical accuracy.

I have to say, and I don't know if it's a factor of the time which has passed, but I really don't have any significant recollections of bullying from my time at CH, back in the late 60s / early 70s. I do remember that the boy who was assigned to look after me in my early days (can't remember the term - nursemaid? surely not), was himself not the most pleasant individual, but still I can't recall any bullying. Perhaps my unconscious has grown a veil over my memories, or possibly I was just very lucky.

Bullying is a very subjective thing but I can remember being given a fairly hard time whilst at Horsham. It helped me to grow a thick skin which led to a huge brick wall which in turn has caused me all sorts of problems!!!! With a little thought - bullying is never right and should always be challenged and I regret that i didn't!

While the sample size is small, I am surprised by the apparent trend. It seems that under the old, pre-Seaman 19th Century model, bullying was relatively rare: under the more enlighten 70s-on regime, it has become more prevalent. I don't know if there have been published studies on this (not just at CH), but any explanation might be enlightening.

LongGone wrote:While the sample size is small, I am surprised by the apparent trend. It seems that under the old, pre-Seaman 19th Century model, bullying was relatively rare: under the more enlighten 70s-on regime, it has become more prevalent. I don't know if there have been published studies on this (not just at CH), but any explanation might be enlightening.

I think this probably rings true.

The mental bullying in Prep (B, at least), was allowed to contine in 1958/9 under C.M.E.S's captaincy, and I certainly suffered from it.

Having said that, it was this that toughened me up to 'take-no-prisoners' in later life, both at school and after leaving. I'll leave it to you to decide if this is a good thing or bad thing !

J.R. wrote:

LongGone wrote:While the sample size is small, I am surprised by the apparent trend. It seems that under the old, pre-Seaman 19th Century model, bullying was relatively rare: under the more enlighten 70s-on regime, it has become more prevalent. I don't know if there have been published studies on this (not just at CH), but any explanation might be enlightening.

I think this probably rings true.

The mental bullying in Prep (B, at least), was allowed to contine in 1958/9 under C.M.E.S's captaincy, and I certainly suffered from it.
Having said that, it was this that very toughened me up to 'take-no-prisoners' in later life, both at school and after leaving. I'll leave it to you to decide if this is a good trhing or bad thing !

I don't remember inter pupil bullying in the Prep though things did get a bit violent of necessity in order to simply progress (for example to escape that starting ballgame - I don't recall the name - one simply "bowled" in such a manner that it was safer for the masters to move the bowler to cricket than to risk the batsman being hit)

"...that starting ballgame - I don't recall the name..."

Stoolball.

LongGone wrote:While the sample size is small, I am surprised by the apparent trend. It seems that under the old, pre-Seaman 19th Century model, bullying was relatively rare: under the more enlighten 70s-on regime, it has become more prevalent. I don't know if there have been published studies on this (not just at CH), but any explanation might be enlightening.

That Newsome's regime (in the 70s) was "enlightened" is new to me. As I said above, I suspect that the increased privacy afforded by studies, cubicles etc. had something to do with it. Before that, lived was lived so much in public that bullies (not popular people) had a harder time. Of course there are some people who seem to positively invite bullying by almost the entire community. That is a different matter.

Seaman in his first year or so mounted a huge campaign against sexual shenanigans (in the quaint language he employed in his crusade, "interfering with the private parts of other boys"). However, much of this was undoubtedly consensual, so I don't think it was aimed at bullying, the extent of which in any one house clearly depended on the housemaster.

michael scuffil wrote: Seaman in his first year or so mounted a huge campaign against sexual shenanigans (in the quaint language he employed in his crusade, "interfering with the private parts of other boys"). However, much of this was undoubtedly consensual, so I don't think it was aimed at bullying, the extent of which in any one house clearly depended on the housemaster.

Such "interfering" was tried on me just once; I indicated that the approach was unwelcome and it was never repeated by anyone. This was in Seaman's days though I never heard anything about Seaman's campaign idea at any time I was at CH.

Foureyes wrote:

"...that starting ballgame - I don't recall the name..."

Stoolball.

Quite possibly stoolball.

Still very popular around leafy Surrey and Sussex. Our local village has a very good ladies team.