Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

marty wrote:I attended a service in chapel once (can't remember what for) in which a young pupil was reading the lesson. He made the classic mistake of pronouncing the word "Gentiles" as "genitals" - most amusing!

Also commonly sung during the 'Nunc dimittis', I think -

"....a light to lighten the Genitals, ...."

I attended a service in chapel once (can't remember what for) in which a young pupil was reading the lesson. He made the classic mistake of pronouncing the word "Gentiles" as "genitals" - most amusing!

2 or 3 years ago, the unlucky person doing the reading in chapel tripped over the wire connecting the lecturn's microphone, and fell right over - also caused much laughter!

Well back on the topic, I know of two quite good ones:

Q: What is germination?
A: To become a German citizen.

Q: What is a vacuum?
A: A large empty space where the Pope lives.

A favourite of mine, in the responses:-

Versicle:- "O God, make speed to save us"
Response:- "O Lord make hash to help us" (haste)

....and 'Amen' was replaced (by Derek & Clive fans, at least) by 'Arseholes'.

This was also possible while reading Grace in Dining Hall - "So season and refresh arseholes with thy Heavenly Spirit...." etc.

Had to try to be a bit subtle there, though, as it was a solo performance. Taking a breath after 'refresh' usually did the trick.

marty wrote:I attended a service in chapel once (can't remember what for)

- I think they must have been compulsory, it's certainly the only reason I'd ever have gone.

Q: What are residents of Paris called?
A: Parisites

What was the statutory punishment for skipping chapel? Must have been a detention, I suppose.

Seniors were supposed to attend Compline on Wednesday evenings - sitting in a bush smoking roll-ups seemed a much more sensible option at the time. Plainchant was clearly wasted on us heathens.

Sitting in a bush smoking roll-ups instead of compline?! Tusk tusk, Mr. Ruck.
Those in the know used to smoke roll-ups in compline. Think about it: warm, dry, the last place they'd look, dark, smokey anyway, free sources of ignition given on entry, prep-doss.....

I always found it difficult to smoke while I was sleeping, though.......

Compline was always a bit soporific.

I used to really enjoy compline!

I did no revision for Chemistry O level and to the question "What is a salt?" my answer was "The opposite of a pepper"

I failed, deservedly.

huntertitus wrote:I did no revision for Chemistry O level and to the question "What is a salt?" my answer was "The opposite of a pepper"

I failed, deservedly.

And so you should.

As any fule kno, it's the opposite of pepper, not of a pepper!

Look at the question, Mr Ruck, Look At The QUESTION!!!

All this makes me think of Baldrick's definition of a cat :

"Not a dog...."

huntertitus wrote:Look at the question, Mr Ruck, Look At The QUESTION!!!

Oh all right then....

so the answer could have also been "a landlubber"