Well!
The contract arrived! Posted on 3 Oct, it survived the postal strike to arrive on 13 Oct. Signed, after careful and frequently baffled perusal, and a puzzled call to the Pet Solicitor.
There seemed to be so much in it that didn't apply to our purchase at all!

Then I realised that we must have a one-size-fits-all standard effort.
This made the current husband a bit furious. He told the assistant of the Pet Solicitor that, considering the money we were paying, we should have a made-to-measure contract.
Anyway!
Another letter yesterday with a copy of a letter from the Brown Fangs solicitor
"(Dum di dum di) with regard to matters generally our client must wait for the terms of the Consent Order and his Divorce to be agreed before he can proceed to an exchange of Contracts".
Making a noise that must have sounded like
"Aieeeee" I was beating on the Estate Agents door in a flail of arms, legs and teeth by 0900hrs.
Venetia knew nothing of this, and was dialling Mr Brown Fangs in a trice.
It's not so bad. There is
one divorce document which ex-Mrs Brown Fangs has to sign, and Venetia assures me that she is eager to have her affairs wound up.... I was filled with fear that maybe divorce proceedings would bIgger up the imminent exchange! Whilst I was being soothed by Venetia, the Brown Fangs' purchaser rang up, also filled with fear, having received the same letter.
How could I have been so complacent?
Mistake! It all seemed to be going so smoothly!
Through a glass, darkly
Munch
"Baldrick, you wouldn't recognise a cunning plan if it painted itself purple, and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing "Cunning plans are here again.""