'Elf n Safety gorn mad !

[Mid A 15]

Don't worry everybody!

Dave has mounted his white charger and will save us!

http://conservativehome.blogs.com/theto ... lture.html

The fact that it is an EU competence so he can do sweet F A is neither here nor there!

[anniexf]

I will endeavour, in future, to avoid upsetting Angela, who seems to have a particular dislike of jokes which she regards as "Gender Issues "

All you have to remember, NEILL, is to check the use-by date of some of your "jokes"! (They are a bit pre-war, aren't they? and I'm not specifying which war....)

[Fjgrogan]

Perhaps the Bore (sp?) War? Sorry Neill, we all love you really!

[anniexf]

Perhaps the Bore (sp?) War?

Oh Frances, you are naughty ...

[Jo]

Don't worry everybody!

Dave has mounted his white charger and will save us!

http://conservativehome.blogs.com/theto ... lture.html

The fact that it is an EU competence so he can do sweet F A is neither here nor there!

As I understand it, much of the nonsense comes not from the legislation itself but from overly zealous interpretation of it. How is he going to deal with that?

[Mid A 15]

Don't worry everybody!

Dave has mounted his white charger and will save us!

http://conservativehome.blogs.com/theto ... lture.html

The fact that it is an EU competence so he can do sweet F A is neither here nor there!

As I understand it, much of the nonsense comes not from the legislation itself but from overly zealous interpretation of it. How is he going to deal with that?

He won't!

I was being ever so slightly sarcastic about our Dave!

This is mere froth to rally the leaflet delivering blue rinse brigade and nothing more.

[Jo]

Don't worry everybody!

Dave has mounted his white charger and will save us!

http://conservativehome.blogs.com/theto ... lture.html

The fact that it is an EU competence so he can do sweet F A is neither here nor there!

As I understand it, much of the nonsense comes not from the legislation itself but from overly zealous interpretation of it. How is he going to deal with that?

He won't!

I was being ever so slightly sarcastic about our Dave!

This is mere froth to rally the leaflet delivering blue rinse brigade and nothing more.

Yes, I realised that - my question was rhetorical

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

Christmas Carols---
Little Donkey-- little Donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load.

The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard as to heavy a load that a donkey, of small stature, is permitted to carry. Also included in the guidelines, is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour Plodding Period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks, to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles.
The donkey has expressed his/her discomfort at being labelled "Little" and would prefer, simply to be referred as Mr, Mrs, Miss or Ms Donkey, to comment upon his/her height , or lack thereof, may be considered an infringement of his/her Equine Rights.

[J.R.]

Nasty dangerous implements, hoes - should be banned by Elfin Safety!

In African American dialect, the word has a completely different meaning !

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

Christmas Carols -----

Away in a Manger -- no crib for a bed -----

Obviously a case for Soccial Services !

[Fjgrogan]

Jesus should have been born in Finland where he would have been provided with a Kela box. This is a large cardbard box, big enough to serve as a cot for the first six months or so, and filled with everything that any newborn baby could possibly need, from vests and nappies to the quilted snowsuit which will pretty well fit a 3-year-old - all provided free of charge by Kela, who are the Finnish equivalent of Social Security, I think. You can opt for a cash payment instead.

[NEILL THE NOTORIOUS]

This is an Obituary printed in the Times, it is a bit long -- but, I think worth repeating on this Topic --
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years, no one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as : Knowing when to come in out of the rain, Why the early bird gets the worm, Life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by sound financial policies (Dont spend more than you can earn ) and reliable strategies (Adults, not children, are in charge)
His health began to deteriorate rapidly (I know,E.A. but this is the Times !) when well-intentioned, but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year old boy charged with sexual harrassment, for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher, fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job, that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further, when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an asprin to a student, but could not inform parents if the student became pregnant an wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live when churches became businesses and criminals received netter treatment than their victims.Common Sense took a beating when you couldnt defend yourself from a burglar in your own home -- and the burglar could sue you for assault
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by hisparents Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, by his daughter Responsibility and his son Reason
He is survived by his 4 step-brothers --
I know my rights
I want it now
Someone else is to blame
I'm a victim
Not many attended his funeral, because few realised he had gone, if you remember him, pass this on -- if not join the majority and do nothing

Dont bother to criticise the punctuation or the grammer -- I told you -- it is the Times
NTN

[Fjgrogan]

I've recently seen this somewhere - or was it elsewhere on this forum? I definitely don't read the Times.

[Angela Woodford]

Surely not The Times?

[jhopgood]

Surely not The Times?

I think you will find it, or something very similar, in Jokes.
It has been around for some time, my copy goes back over 5 years.
Should I be surprised that the Thunderer has only just caught up?
I´m sure Thomas Barnes (CH) is pretty upset with the way the Times has developed.