Does anyone on this forum go to church?

[NTN]

During the week I was visited by two delightful ladies who were Jehovah' Witnesses.
I was surprised by their overlookig the "Fish" House Number sign, the chromium "Fish" on the car, and the Christian motto of welcome on the front door.
On consulting Neill's Wife TBA, she informed me that the best way to dissuade JWs is to fall on your knees, and offer to pray with them !
It appears that should they join in -- they will be eternally dammned ! which seems to be an odd result of prayer !

[kerrensimmonds]

Why have you changed your monikker (spelling?), Neill?

[sejintenej]

.
Incidentally I was reading a story about a group who have only two laws:
-- "If it harms none, then do it.
---Protect the weak from the strong."
Seems to make more sense than the ten commandments with all their exceptions (like it is OK to kill in self defence.........)

I like this. Where do I sign up

PM sent. It is actually a bit more complex than it looks.

You can break rule 1 to enforce rule 2. With rule 1 you have to look beyond the immediate to the subsequent effects of your "doing it" because your act might enable the beneficiary to do some nasty so you can't "do it" for that reason. The book makes it slightly clearer

[Fjgrogan]

Sounds far too complicated for me, David. Re JWs - I usually find that what gets rid of them fast is insisting that I am already a committed Christian - it's true, and it works. Last time round I accidentally claimed to be a committed churchgoer, which at the time wasn't true - I felt guilty for days afterwards!!!

[Angela Woodford]

My mother used always to adore a visit from the Jehovah's Witnesses.

They used to tackle our road in Sarf London at regular intervals. My mother would regularly check through the net curtains if word was around that they had begun at one end of Criffel Avenue, S W 2. The excitement of the conflict to come! What an opportunity to bear witness for the Lord!

Ready and waiting on the hall table would be a book written by a JW who had got away. It was a fearsome looking red volume entitled "Thirty Years A Watchtower Slave". Just in case of emergency, there'd be the backup of The Holy Bible ( King James version) and a few tracts, written for those who had gone Astray listening to the wiles of Satan.

It would usually be two nice-looking women to begin with. But my mother was never fooled. "Are you a Christian?" one NLW would enquire pleasantly. Then battle would commence, or as one says nowadays "Game On!" References from the Watchtower Slave Book would swiftly be backed up with underlined passages from the Bible, followed by finely-honed questions regarding the NLW's potential personal relationships with their Lord and Saviour. It would be maybe ten minutes, even a magnificent furious quarter hour before the poor NLW would be backing down the path to the front gate; rendered pale and shaking.

The next day, there would be a follow-up visit by a man and a woman, and finally, two men - albeit palpitating with nerves. Once - and this was a major triumph - a poor couple were lured into the drawing room, and given the full treatment - although it did strike me as a bit unfair that, at that time, my mother was even more eloquent after the Billy Graham London Crusade.

What chance did a Jehovah's Witness stand when confronted with a little Queen Mother lookalike chock-full of evangelical fervour?

No chance. Absolutely no chance at all.

[DavidRawlins]

A Greek New testament will confuse JWs.
The last time they visited me I felt sorry for them, so let them spout whilst my mind was elsewhere.

[J.R.]

... and on the same subject.....

How can you tell a JW from Liverpool or Glasgow ?

They tell YOU to 'Ef-Off' when you open the door !!

[Jo]

During the week I was visited by two delightful ladies who were Jehovah' Witnesses.
I was surprised by their overlookig the "Fish" House Number sign, the chromium "Fish" on the car, and the Christian motto of welcome on the front door.
On consulting Neill's Wife TBA, she informed me that the best way to dissuade JWs is to fall on your knees, and offer to pray with them !
It appears that should they join in -- they will be eternally dammned ! which seems to be an odd result of prayer !

They used to ignore "The Vicarage" on our gatepost. Maybe they saw us as a challenge.

I am reliably informed that the best way to get rid of them is to tell them you're disfellowshipped, which is their equivalent of excommunicated. They aren't allowed to fraternise with the disfellowshipped, far too unclean

[NTN]

The reason Neill has changed was that he was unable to log on.
See the story on "The return of the Native" on CH stuff

[Angela Woodford]

I have been going to the morning service at St Michael's Church, Malton!

It's delightfully friendly. I'm really enjoying meeting people - and they are tremendously tolerant as we pass the baby along to each other along the pew. And I found myself looking longingly at the robed choir (red, with white surplice; so my favourite colours) and have tentatively proposed myself as a choir member. Well... as a choirmaster's daughter, I suppose I'm going back to my roots.

I was interested in the hymnbook "Common Worship", read the introduction, and saw that it's an updated A&M which we had at Hertford. Rather sheepishly, I filled in a Prayer Group participatory form, whilst admitting I wasn't very skilled at prayer. Soon, all the members of the group draw out the name of another member and pray for them and their intention during Lent! Then at Easter you meet that person!

I am so surprised at myself.

[Jo]

Gosh..it sounds like Secret Santa

[Angela Woodford]

Just what I thought, Jo! But I didn't say so!

[NTN]

TBA and myself are happy at St Nicholas, Corfe Mullen (Look it up !) but I sometimes get irritated by the "Rosters" for Welcome, Hymn numbers, Collection, Prayers and Tea Coffee, biscuits etc, do not always co-incide !
Hence, one may find that, on a particular Sunday, one may find oneself do two or more of these !
The "Roster Makers" don't seem to communicate --- which offends some of us witha "Military Mind"

[Fjgrogan]

Believe me, Neill (or his alter ego), it is even more irritating to have to actually produce the offending rosters - I speak as a former parish administrator!

[Mid A 15]

This pseudo Neill is amusing but in all seriousness I hope the real Neill is ok as he does not appear to have been on for a while.