Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

I tjought I had better put this Post on this resurrected Topic --- rather than on "When does the crying stop ?"
as the Mother seemed quite upset, and what I have to say, might aggravate things.

When was "Weekend Leave" introduced ?
If a child is constantly able to return to Mum at Weekends, it is merely re-inforcing the Homesickness.
It is essential, in my view, that any new Boy or Girl is assimilated into the School System, Customs, Rules and Social ethics, which obtain at Christ's Hospital.. Constant visits- Home---- approved by the School ---- can only dilute this assimilation.
Surely, before Weekend Leave was introduced, the whole Week was full of things to do and in some cases enjoy, in others not . Mums and Dads arrived to visit at Weekends -- not the other way about.
I don't want to go on about "In my day" --- but the Weekend was when Rugby, Swimming, Criccket Matches, were all played at School level --- we also had the similar activities at House level as well, on Wednesdays.
Non-sporting people were able to work at the "Farm" on Big Side --- is it still there ?
House Runs were undertaken in the surrounding countryside as well as Walks and Nature study.
Weekends ? --- A great time for cathching up on awaiting Prep !
Of course, people get homesick, not only at School --- but also in the Army, and it has to be recognised and handled sympathetically.
The best cure is to be busy, doing something (Whatever ) with your Friends, not to be given "Time Off" because of it.

A last thought------ I expect those doing National Service would have loved that system of Weekends Off when required !
It was difficult enough turning them into Soldiers (And I expect Sailors and Airmen) as it was ! !

I have to agree, Neill. At Hertford there rarely seemed to be time to be homesick, we were always expected to be doing something, even if it was only school nedlework.

You guys... can't really believe that you miss things like Mass Nose Blowing...

But, apart from that, things haven't changed that much.

Leave Weekend is not every weekend but is once every three to four weeks and lasts from Friday afternoon to Sunday night. And for the record, a very small percentage of my son's year was homesick; mine went off without a backward glance. (Still unsure whether that reflects well or badly on me).

Anecdotally, it's generally the parents that get separation anxiety, not the kids, who are mostly too busy to fret.

Am somewhat bewildered by references to the Army & National Service...

NEILL THE NOTORIOUS wrote:I tjought I had better put this Post on this resurrected Topic --- rather than on "When does the crying stop ?"
as the Mother seemed quite upset, and what I have to say, might aggravate things.

I think the mum who started that thread did so soon after her daughter started at CH, when the young girl probably was very homesick and the mum was really missing her child. Further on in the thread the same mum says how happy her daughter is now and how happy she, as the parent, is with CH. I don't think leave weekends particularly add to the feelings of homesickness though, in fact I think they probably have the opposite effect and make it more bearable for those children who may be missing home to know that they don't have long to wait. I've read lots of posts on this forum from OBs who said how homesick they were, not seeing their parents for months at a time, so I don't think it was necessarily any better then. There probably isn't a right or wrong way, what suits some children won't suit others

I have to admit that my lack of homesickness is probably due to the fact that I was evacuated for 4 years and only had 2 terms in a strange new home before CH. I only saw my parents a couple of times a year, so "home" was a strange exprience for me. It is probably why I take on local colour quickly, and don't miss anywhere i have lived previously.

lonelymom wrote:

NEILL THE NOTORIOUS wrote:I tjought I had better put this Post on this resurrected Topic --- rather than on "When does the crying stop ?"
as the Mother seemed quite upset, and what I have to say, might aggravate things.

I think the mum who started that thread did so soon after her daughter started at CH, when the young girl probably was very homesick and the mum was really missing her child. Further on in the thread the same mum says how happy her daughter is now and how happy she, as the parent, is with CH. I don't think leave weekends particularly add to the feelings of homesickness though, in fact I think they probably have the opposite effect and make it more bearable for those children who may be missing home to know that they don't have long to wait. I've read lots of posts on this forum from OBs who said how homesick they were, not seeing their parents for months at a time, so I don't think it was necessarily any better then. There probably isn't a right or wrong way, what suits some children won't suit others

Totally agree! There are times when it's a case of one or other of us limping from one Leave Weekend to the next. However, sometimes I think it's just so he can get some peace & quiet & stock up on tuck...

huggermugger wrote: However, sometimes I think it's just so he can get some peace & quiet & stock up on tuck...

When I recently commented to someone that my daughter is growing up so fast at CH that I feel as though she needs me less and less each time I see her, I was reminded that she does still need me, as tuck-supplier if nothing else!!!

I got a text from 20 year old daughter "Happy Mother's Day - Love you lots".

Aaahh Bless.

That's sweet; - I got a card from my daughter which read:

A mother knows all about her children. She knows about romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A father is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
It was both a giggle moment & an ouch moment - unfortunately it's a little too close to the truth for comfort.

(may I apologise to the many very competent & loving fathers that I know are out there...)

I got that card too, from one of my sons.

I got a text today (!) from daughter saying:

Happy muthas day 4 yestaday, soz, was really busy x

huggermugger wrote:That's sweet; - I got a card from my daughter which read:

A mother knows all about her children. She knows about romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A father is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
It was both a giggle moment & an ouch moment - unfortunately it's a little too close to the truth for comfort.

(may I apologise to the many very competent & loving fathers that I know are out there...)

You obviously haven't met my mum. I'm very fond of her, but she's about the least shrewd person in the world. It would have been more true of my dad.

I knew that would get you lot going ---- Hence "Notorious"

In reply to "Huggermugger" ---- You may also be involved in National Service if we are involved in any more "Neccessary" (NOT aTYPO" ) Wars,
The Services would seem to be heading towards two Chelsea Pensioners, a toy Glider and a small Dinghy !
OK so I am predjudiced !

So they will be OK Neill, since there are now Two lady Chelsea Pensioners.

Jo wrote:

huggermugger wrote:That's sweet; - I got a card from my daughter which read:

A mother knows all about her children. She knows about romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A father is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
It was both a giggle moment & an ouch moment - unfortunately it's a little too close to the truth for comfort.

(may I apologise to the many very competent & loving fathers that I know are out there...)

You obviously haven't met my mum. I'm very fond of her, but she's about the least shrewd person in the world. It would have been more true of my dad.

Sorry Jo, should have said it was too close for comfort for my DD & I. That's what I meant & that's why I put in the disclaimer!