Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

Cath, thank you so much for that, I was literally weeping with laughter!

P.S. It's now 8.26 pm here.

P.P.S. I teach a standard 15 hours a week, but at the moment I'm doing 18. I still manage the odd few minutes of 'down time' during working hours!

I'd forgotten there was a time difference. Enjoy your evening.

panopticon

• noun - historical a circular prison with cells arranged around a central well, from which prisoners could at all times be observed.

— origin mid 18th cent. : from pan- ‘all’ + Greek optikon, neuter of optikos ‘optic’.

callipygian (also callipygous)
adj.
Having beautifully proportioned buttocks.

What constitutes 'beautifully proportioned' in the buttock department? Small and pert or plump and curvaceous? Or is the importance of proportion just relative to the rest of the body? It's only a thought.

cj wrote:What constitutes 'beautifully proportioned' in the buttock department? Small and pert or plump and curvaceous? Or is the importance of proportion just relative to the rest of the body? It's only a thought.

It is all in the eye of the beholder. Different cultures have different ideas on beauty.

Proportioned or not, it's a lovely sounding word.

Ajarn Philip wrote:callipygian (also callipygous)
adj.
Having beautifully proportioned buttocks.

Is this just a posh way of saying does my bum look too big in this?

cj wrote:What constitutes 'beautifully proportioned' in the buttock department? Small and pert or plump and curvaceous? Or is the importance of proportion just relative to the rest of the body? It's only a thought.

Yes, but it's a lovely thought, cj, and one I've devoted considerable attention to over the last 24 years (oops, sorry, I meant 'hours'...). Having two roughly the same size is probably a good start, for either sex (wasn't there a survey many years ago that revealed a man's bottom was the first thing ladies looked at...?). I'm sorry, it's been a long hard day. At least we've moved up (so to speak) from stockings.

I think I'll just pop off and see if I can find another word to take my mind off this one.

Ajarn Philip wrote:

cj wrote:What constitutes 'beautifully proportioned' in the buttock department? Small and pert or plump and curvaceous? Or is the importance of proportion just relative to the rest of the body? It's only a thought.

Yes, but it's a lovely thought, cj, and one I've devoted considerable attention to over the last 24 years (oops, sorry, I meant 'hours'...). Having two roughly the same size is probably a good start, for either sex (wasn't there a survey many years ago that revealed a man's bottom was the first thing ladies looked at...?). I'm sorry, it's been a long hard day. At least we've moved up (so to speak) from stockings.

I think I'll just pop off and see if I can find another word to take my mind off this one.

Can they be like feet (or for that matter breasts and testicles) where one can be noticeably different in size than the other? And if you sit with your weight dispersed unevenly, might that squish the contents of one permanently into the other? I may have to do some research on the matter. Ajarn - you do SE Asia, I'll take Devon. We might be different than the rest of the universe down yer considering pasties and cream teas are the staple diet.

Blimey, an international arse judging competition!

Anyway, a nice word for today:

strappado

• noun (pl. strappados) (usu. the strappado) historical a form of punishment or torture in which the victim was secured to a rope and made to fall from a height almost to the ground before being stopped with an abrupt jerk.

• the instrument used for inflicting the punishment or torture of strappado.

— origin mid 16th cent. : from French (e)strapade, from Italian strappata, from strappare ‘to snatch’.

It's bungee jumping for the mediaevalist. And of course so much more genteel than pontification on the posterior.

cj wrote:Can they be like feet (or for that matter breasts and testicles) where one can be noticeably different in size than the other? And if you sit with your weight dispersed unevenly, might that squish the contents of one permanently into the other? I may have to do some research on the matter. Ajarn - you do SE Asia, I'll take Devon. We might be different than the rest of the universe down yer considering pasties and cream teas are the staple diet.

I started to reply to your post last night, cj, but it was late, I was extremely tired and more than a tad emotional. When I read it back it sounded like something from Readers' Letters in Penthouse (I imagine) so I deleted and staggered shamefully bedwards. I blame you entirely.

It's a Well Known Fact that the stools of Devonian milkmaids in the latter half of the 16th century had only one leg. Nor did they have that wonderful development (first used by the fine stool maker Juster Tad Wonkie) - yes, of course, I'm referring to the buttock splitter, which ensured the even distribution of left and right. Anyway, it's another Well Known Fact that Devon tilts to the right, and as a result the milkmaids, bless 'em, constantly had to compensate by leaning left. This resulted in a constant flattening of the left buttock and, perhaps not surprisingly (it had to go somewhere) a proportional increase in the size of the right.

As for the survey, I'm afraid I'm way ahead of you. SE Asia = pert.

But I'd kill for a cream tea...

strappado

I actually knew that one, Richard, though I'm told that in certain specialist clubs in Brighton, it does have another meaning !!!

Ajarn Philip wrote:

cj wrote:Can they be like feet (or for that matter breasts and testicles) where one can be noticeably different in size than the other? And if you sit with your weight dispersed unevenly, might that squish the contents of one permanently into the other? I may have to do some research on the matter. Ajarn - you do SE Asia, I'll take Devon. We might be different than the rest of the universe down yer considering pasties and cream teas are the staple diet.

It's a Well Known Fact that the stools of Devonian milkmaids in the latter half of the 16th century had only one leg. Nor did they have that wonderful development (first used by the fine stool maker Juster Tad Wonkie) - yes, of course, I'm referring to the buttock splitter, which ensured the even distribution of left and right. Anyway, it's another Well Known Fact that Devon tilts to the right, and as a result the milkmaids, bless 'em, constantly had to compensate by leaning left. This resulted in a constant flattening of the left buttock and, perhaps not surprisingly (it had to go somewhere) a proportional increase in the size of the right.

As for the survey, I'm afraid I'm way ahead of you. SE Asia = pert

Now I'm worried about the Devon move. Really worried! What will happen to my shape? I don't want my bottom flat on one side and increased on the other - so that rather prevents me applying for that milkmaid job, curse it!



And now Philip's SE Asia researches have left him tired and emotional!

Munch