Did anyone see...

[Richard Ruck]

I'm feline pretty good too - better watch out for Shoz tho...

Worthy of J.R., that one!

I had to paws to check who actually wrote it.........

[J.R.]

Worthy of me ??????????????

You've gotta be kitten !!!!!!!!!!

[Rory]

You've got to give him credit fur trying.

[Jude]

I'm feline pretty good too - better watch out for Shoz tho...

Why is he a bit of a tiger???????

lol

[J.R.]

I'm feline pretty good too - better watch out for Shoz tho...

Why is he a bit of a tiger???????

lol

No, but he always expects the lions share !!

[DavebytheSea]

Don't you believe it! He's just a big pussy really.

[kerrensimmonds]

The programme was shown again last night, BBC3. And I missed it again! Did anyone else see it properly, this time?
I gather from a fellow Hertford Old Blue (who did see it last night) that the way the lady conducted herself indicated that although clearly she had been very unhappy at Hertford, it in itself was unlikely to be at the root of her problems.
Any other opinions out there?

[Angela Woodford]

I do wish that I had seen it.

I believe it to be possible that somebody who had become a bit unhinged at Hertford might go on to unexpected/unpredictable behaviour, after 5 -7 years of institutionalisation. My parents (and I came from a family where I was loved, valued and cared for) had such great expectations of me when I won an LCC Scholarship. Year after year, I failed to have any of my abilities recognised - except for (quote DR in my final report - just dug it out from under the stairs) "Angela has been cheerful and friendly throughout her school days". This still makes me feel a sort of anger. DR had no idea how terribly underachieving I was feeling, and was in no way an accessible Headmistress to me, as "Half To Remember" would have her readers think.

And at last an acknowledgement of the anxiety that haunted me - what was I going to do? Quote Miss Mercer from same report "Angela has been unsettled about her future this term, and this has affected her work. She should recover her buoyancy and flair in time".

For those of us who never had their talents acknowledged, who felt less than adequate compared with the Official Star Girls: who had the self-esteem kicked out of them by their seniors - well, I'm speaking up.

And I'm afraid, for the suicide attempts and runnings-away by several girls, so glibly dismissed in DR's memoir. And remembering the girl confined in the Maid's Room by Millie.

I myself worked hard after leaving to try to believe that I was a worthwhile person and, though not talented in any way, could still live a useful life. Some may have overcome that bitter feeling of failure; some may not and compensated in other ways.

Munch

[Jude]

I do wish that I had seen it.

I believe it to be possible that somebody who had become a bit unhinged at Hertford might go on to unexpected/unpredictable behaviour, after 5 -7 years of institutionalisation. My parents (and I came from a family where I was loved, valued and cared for) had such great expectations of me when I won an LCC Scholarship. Year after year, I failed to have any of my abilities recognised - except for (quote DR in my final report - just dug it out from under the stairs) "Angela has been cheerful and friendly throughout her school days". This still makes me feel a sort of anger. DR had no idea how terribly underachieving I was feeling, and was in no way an accessible Headmistress to me, as "Half To Remember" would have her readers think.

And at last an acknowledgement of the anxiety that haunted me - what was I going to do? Quote Miss Mercer from same report "Angela has been unsettled about her future this term, and this has affected her work. She should recover her buoyancy and flair in time".

For those of us who never had their talents acknowledged, who felt less than adequate compared with the Official Star Girls: who had the self-esteem kicked out of them by their seniors - well, I'm speaking up.

And I'm afraid, for the suicide attempts and runnings-away by several girls, so glibly dismissed in DR's memoir. And remembering the girl confined in the Maid's Room by Millie.

I myself worked hard after leaving to try to believe that I was a worthwhile person and, though not talented in any way, could still live a useful life. Some may have overcome that bitter feeling of failure; some may not and compensated in other ways.

Munch

Munch you are in the barrel with a lot of us - and I still feel that someone is shooting in - I have never achieved according to my unloving & hateful father - and part of me still feels even with the stupid illness I have that I will be remembered more for what I didn't do than for what I did.

[Angela Woodford]

Jude -

I haven't been a Forum menber for very long, but know that your posts are very much valued and appreciated. I missed you very much recently.

Perhaps these posts should be re-routed to Hertford Memories!

I really identified with you when you remembered that Miss Jukes had told you that your ?cake was "Anaemic, Judith, just like you". I can just hear her voice saying it.

With regard to the Lynn James programme it doesn't bother me that her children have been given names that might identify them as belonging to a particular social group. CH is for everyone. That was her taste in naming her children!

If Lynn James is able to earn £32,000 p a, I'd regard this as a healthy salary! She's got into bad debt. Maybe her circumstances during her formative years at CH had something to do with it - I'd like to know more before "judging" her.

But I can't agree with other forum members in viewing the Hertford years in a rosy-beneficial-education for all. There are some who succeeded, brilliantly in the A and B stream system - others whose lives were blighted by it. My own life in the House was difficult because I was the only one of my year to be A stream (although by far the most stupid of the 'A' form).

I wonder how Lynn James has done.

Love

Munch

[kerrensimmonds]

I think there must be something wrong with me. Like Munch, I was bottom of the A stream, and in fact Queenie Blench threw me out of Latin in the month or two prior to O Level (if only I had known that there would be at least two clear weeks before the exams in the other subjects and those in Latin, I might have stuck in there and swotted like billyho - and maybe passed..), which effectively put the kybosh on my childhood yearnings to train for the medical profession. But I never felt inferior to anyone, I just got on with life, swallowed its disappointments and moved on. I certainly do not share the rawness of memories displayed by some others on this Forum. I think this probably means that I am shallow. Oh well, so be it! Even though I was not happy 100% of the time for the 9 years I was at Hertford, I feel no recrimination against my education and those who were responsible for it. I just trundle on, still feeling grateful that at least I was given the opportunities - even if I did not make as much of them as my (initially) proud parents might have hoped.

[Angela Woodford]

I think there must be something wrong with me......But I never felt inferior to anyone, I just got on with life, swallowed its disappointments and moved on. I think this probably means that I am shallow. I was given the opportunities - even if I did not make as much of them as my (initially) proud parents might have hoped.

Kerren, Kerren! Know how I remember you? You were a supremely confident Senior, extremely efficient, always one of the good guys, and a sort of sporting goddess!

If you were really good at something at Hertford, it was your "brand", and you were recognised for it. Of course you never felt inferior to anyone. Goodness, the thought!

In my forties I was afflicted with several periods of depression. I really made every effort to get better. What spilled out to surprised counsellors and non-comprehending psychiatrist? Histories of feelings of failure, inferiority and non-achievement at CH. I know - you're going to say"get a life" aren't you? I faced up to these black -engulfing awful mental states and improved as much as I could. And years later I feel the beneficial effects of swapping all the funny CH stories on this Forum.

But past midlife depression enables me to understand how an Old Girl can flip and get into debt.

Love, dear Kerren

Munch

[englishangel]

I don't really think any of this is about CH, it is just the various personalities we have. I had a loving family like Munch, and sailed through CH and adolescence like Kerren. Somewhere else I have said I was mediocre. My 'brand' was being extremely well-behaved, no sport, no scholastic achievement.

However we all have different post-CH experiences. Kerren has had a career on the fringes of academe, Munch and I went into the 'caring' professions. Even now we are different. I have been married 31 years, Munch I know has been divorced once but don't know her current personal circs, nor Kerren's, but I bet we would still have lots to talk about if we met up. It would be very boring if we were all the same.

[J.R.]

Nicely put, Mary !

In many ways this does have a lot to do with CH. After reading through many of the posts from the more senior Hertford posters, I can see great similarities between the Girls and the Boys.

I must admit to despising CH for many, many years after leaving, and it wasn't until our own daughters were reaching teenage years, I realised just how much good the school did for me and maybe I should have tried harder academically.

Slight ill-health to both my wife and I have left us pretty destitute by todays earning standards, but luckily, we have a very strong marriage, approaching 36 years, so we are pretty resiliant. One thing CH DID teach me, was to stand up for yourself and not let the b@stards grind you down.

I fully sympathise with any OB who feels they have suffered mentally from their school experiences.

Remember, academic qualifications are NOT the be-all and end-all - It's WHAT you are that counts !

Here endeth the Friday lesson !

[cj]

I must admit to despising CH for many, many years after leaving, and it wasn't until our own daughters were reaching teenage years, I realised just how much good the school did for me and maybe I should have tried harder academically.

I felt very much the same about CH for a variety of reasons. Many years later, and after serious illness and therapy, I realised that you can't escape the past or change it, but you can change your current attitude and relationship to things that happened and actions you took. And of course none of us know what might have happened if we'd gone elsewhere to school. It might have been better for us. But equally we may have come out a lot worse. When I think of my time at CH now, I think of the wonderful music department and the opportunities the staff afforded me there (particularly David Elliott) and how happy I was in the band and the choir. Those are the memories I try to hang on to. And if I hadn't pursued the music path, I would never have met my husband all those years later.