Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

Getting a bollocking, getting blown up, call it what you will.

My only contact with Mr Peto was when he once saw me stepping on the threadbare corner of a Quad lawn and unleashed hell in my direction. So my only memory of him is as a Nasty Shouting Man. My introduction to Roger Martin was being bollocked by him for being in Barnes A without first having reported to the Duty Master. (We didn't have that system in my house - so talk about being a lamb-to-the-slaughter.)

I also remember R N 'Killer' Fry (ex-Royal Marine Commandos) blowing me up almost to the point of death when I'd only been at CH for a fortnight. God knows what it was for (possibly something to do with wandering around on that bizarre allotment the Science Farm). All I remember is the shouting - it was like being trapped in a wind-tunnel.

Anyone else recall nasty bollocking incidents and their causes?

Was walking back from a hockey match on big side once with a couple of friends. We had a ball and were knocking it about as we went. We obviously hadn't noticed we were on a cricket field (it was lent term) when we heard this voice booming from about three or four hundred metres away: "Get off that cricket pitch!!!!!" It was Mr Holdsworth - clearly unhappy at us taking divets out of one his beloved creases!

Just a thought Jack, I see you have moved to London, just which library are you in on a Saturday?

Two 'incidents' stick clearly in my mind...

The first was Mr Shippen at Welford Scout Camp on my squits...

(This camp is done on a farmer's field by a canal. The farmer is well respected for his superb crops...)

The camp that year was held in a field that was in a gentle valley. The field above it had just been mown for hay and was in straight lines. In a moment of boredom, some of us went up to the top of that hill (where we could not be seen from the camp) and decided to make a large 'house' out of the mown hay and then bury ourselves in it. Alas, the view from the farmhouse was very clear and JDS came strolling out of it, saw us and boomed from 200 yards away "what the fcuk do you think you are doing?" - he then ran (yes, ran!) to us cursing and screaming. He made us put all of the hay back in exactly the right lines whilst telling us that he'd put us on yellow card, no red card - rustication perhaps due to this crime of ours...

It was a classic Shippen peeve...


The second was on my LE and concerned Mrs Caincross who was very scary when angry. For those who never knew Lizzy C, she was the deputy head for most of the 1990's and althouh rather diminutive, she was known to reduce Grecians to tears. Out of the SMT of Poulton, Sillett and Cairncross - you always feared going to Mrs Caincross.

We were all seated in the dayroom after prep and she strode in. I think she was called in due to some damage to some sofas in the common room. She started off very quietly and always kept at an intense tone before every so often raising her voice and scaring the wotsits out of everyone...

'Boomer' Carrington, during my deps. He got wind that we were about to hold an inter-house drinking competition in the Grecians club.

I've never since heard anything like it.

"THERE WILL BE NOOOO BOAT-RACE IN HERE TONIGHT".

He was a formidable man at the gentlest of times, but irk him and all hell was let loose.

englishangel wrote:Just a thought Jack, I see you have moved to London, just which library are you in on a Saturday?

Lewisham Library, missus. Lots of toerags like me go in there and amazingly I've never been asked to leave for being scruffy and unshaven.

Get sick of kids messing around in there on a Saturday, though. (Three kids sharing one computer, messing about and kicking each other up the bum etc. Many's the time I've almost given them a bollocking.)

A Dirty Old Jack wrote:Get sick of kids messing around in there on a Saturday, though. (Three kids sharing one computer, messing about and kicking each other up the bum etc. Many's the time I've almost given them a bollocking.)

do it, do it DO IT! please. sodding chavs are bad enough when they are on the street making dicks out of themselves. in a library they should be shot...

...well no. they should be dragged out by their underarm hair and then shot...

Hendrik wrote:do it, do it DO IT! please. sodding chavs are bad enough when they are on the street making dicks out of themselves. in a library they should be shot...

...well no. they should be dragged out by their underarm hair and then shot...

Sounds like a very right wing approach to social policing.

I once had a great argument with Mrs Ireland in one of our citizenship classes (a short lived affair and it is still a mystery to me why I had to go to them). She was going on some anti military rant about how we should not have a nuclear deterrant. She wasn't letting anyone get a word in so I started arguing back, it got quite heated and I ended up getting sent out of the classroom.

Citizenship classes?????

Great Plum wrote:Citizenship classes?????

Seconded!

We received " Civics classes " at Hertford - long meandering explanations of the US elective system , entre autres sujets : extremely useful and relevant ...

Euterpe13 wrote:We received " Civics classes " at Hertford - long meandering explanations of the US elective system , entre autres sujets : extremely useful and relevant ...

.................... I hate to think how 'useful' your sex education classes were, then !!

J.R. wrote:

Euterpe13 wrote:We received " Civics classes " at Hertford - long meandering explanations of the US elective system , entre autres sujets : extremely useful and relevant ...

.................... I hate to think how 'useful' your sex education classes were, then !!

What sex education classes?

BTaylor wrote:

Hendrik wrote:do it, do it DO IT! please. sodding chavs are bad enough when they are on the street making dicks out of themselves. in a library they should be shot...

...well no. they should be dragged out by their underarm hair and then shot...

Sounds like a very right wing approach to social policing.

And none the worse for that!