Response from the Head Master
Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2019 5:27 pm
Dear All
I received a response to my letter a couple of days ago.
The HM is on holiday so it was from the business manager.
It is IN CONFIDENCE and I am respecting that for now.
They have asked for another meeting and I have accepted and will be taking some backup (no - not a machine gun).
I can't at this stage say much more other than I lived with some 48 years of not saying anything and I do not take, therefore, kindly to be being requested to keep quiet on what I believe are matters that concern all Old Blues.
Of course you will be aware that CH is reading these posts - that was stated. I guess this may be the 'guest' who appears quite a lot on the item 'who's reading the site'.
I will of course keep you updated as best as I can but will honour their request of In Confidence for now.
But I think it is fair and right that I ask you to let me have up to and no more than 3 questions that each of you might want answered. You can do this here or as a PM on the site or directly to me at [Email removed as obsolete - please contact via Private Message].
I thank you for all of your posts on this subject - they are really helpful and supportive. There are still questions that need to be answered - well probably some of the original questions.
I have written to HRH Duke of Gloucester as I still do feel that the school has been slow to respond to these matters and been inadequate in their responses and thus some pressure needs to be brought to bear. I am also writing to the Bishop of Chichester looking both at a service of reconciliation but also to explain the Churches involvement and why they did not take action vis a vis Peter Ball. (I already have Bishop Sarah of London looking at leading this).
I can confirm that victims can seek redress through Civil Litigation with the Schools Insurers - it is is a hard thing to do as you have to re-go through everything that you have already said to the police or in court. Within that litigation process it is correct to say that some compensation will be given towards the cost of counselling. However firstly you do have to wait for settlement or ask for an advance. (Counselling does not come cheap).
Secondly the payment is for set counselling or therapy and assumes that such will achieve it's results fairly quickly - in my case two courses which involves about 6 months. I can tell you now that this is nonsense. One of the key issues forgotten concerning non-recent sexual abuse is that the victims carry it for many years before revealing it, if ever. Once revealed the consequences are for the rest of your life.
When I chose to make my statement on this forum I took a very big decision - simply to go public. This is because I felt that that whilst perpetrators of abuse were being prosecuted, the school was failing the pupils both past and present by trying to ignore it and carry on business as usual.
I did not like this forum when I first looked at it by accident as I was just looking for something concerning CH and it came up on the web. The result was that I read a post that made me beside myself with anger and it was that post that caused me to waive anonymity and tell you all who I was and what had happened to me.
From then I have tried to ask questions and get answers and many of you have made a real difference. I have attempted to stand up for victims and am in contact with several, but that is because it became clear to me that CH was going to try to sweep away the issues.
It is not for me to comment on how badly some of the pupils of the school were let down by the school other than to point out that, if CH had followed the Lords Wandsworth College system of dealing with sexual abuse, many, if not all of the victims of Karim, Husband and Dobbie would not have been victims at all. And in this the school is shameful with it's Silletts, Cairncroses & Flemings as well as a lot of Head Masters. It is a total disgrace and they need to face up to it.
In the meantime I draw on your support and advice once again with the three questions - what are they that you would liked asked?
I will now be very quiet for awhile as there is still a pending investigation into Mr Burr which involves me. But I will be looking at the forum and if I can say something I will.
With - well I suppose love and best wishes
Rob
I received a response to my letter a couple of days ago.
The HM is on holiday so it was from the business manager.
It is IN CONFIDENCE and I am respecting that for now.
They have asked for another meeting and I have accepted and will be taking some backup (no - not a machine gun).
I can't at this stage say much more other than I lived with some 48 years of not saying anything and I do not take, therefore, kindly to be being requested to keep quiet on what I believe are matters that concern all Old Blues.
Of course you will be aware that CH is reading these posts - that was stated. I guess this may be the 'guest' who appears quite a lot on the item 'who's reading the site'.
I will of course keep you updated as best as I can but will honour their request of In Confidence for now.
But I think it is fair and right that I ask you to let me have up to and no more than 3 questions that each of you might want answered. You can do this here or as a PM on the site or directly to me at [Email removed as obsolete - please contact via Private Message].
I thank you for all of your posts on this subject - they are really helpful and supportive. There are still questions that need to be answered - well probably some of the original questions.
I have written to HRH Duke of Gloucester as I still do feel that the school has been slow to respond to these matters and been inadequate in their responses and thus some pressure needs to be brought to bear. I am also writing to the Bishop of Chichester looking both at a service of reconciliation but also to explain the Churches involvement and why they did not take action vis a vis Peter Ball. (I already have Bishop Sarah of London looking at leading this).
I can confirm that victims can seek redress through Civil Litigation with the Schools Insurers - it is is a hard thing to do as you have to re-go through everything that you have already said to the police or in court. Within that litigation process it is correct to say that some compensation will be given towards the cost of counselling. However firstly you do have to wait for settlement or ask for an advance. (Counselling does not come cheap).
Secondly the payment is for set counselling or therapy and assumes that such will achieve it's results fairly quickly - in my case two courses which involves about 6 months. I can tell you now that this is nonsense. One of the key issues forgotten concerning non-recent sexual abuse is that the victims carry it for many years before revealing it, if ever. Once revealed the consequences are for the rest of your life.
When I chose to make my statement on this forum I took a very big decision - simply to go public. This is because I felt that that whilst perpetrators of abuse were being prosecuted, the school was failing the pupils both past and present by trying to ignore it and carry on business as usual.
I did not like this forum when I first looked at it by accident as I was just looking for something concerning CH and it came up on the web. The result was that I read a post that made me beside myself with anger and it was that post that caused me to waive anonymity and tell you all who I was and what had happened to me.
From then I have tried to ask questions and get answers and many of you have made a real difference. I have attempted to stand up for victims and am in contact with several, but that is because it became clear to me that CH was going to try to sweep away the issues.
It is not for me to comment on how badly some of the pupils of the school were let down by the school other than to point out that, if CH had followed the Lords Wandsworth College system of dealing with sexual abuse, many, if not all of the victims of Karim, Husband and Dobbie would not have been victims at all. And in this the school is shameful with it's Silletts, Cairncroses & Flemings as well as a lot of Head Masters. It is a total disgrace and they need to face up to it.
In the meantime I draw on your support and advice once again with the three questions - what are they that you would liked asked?
I will now be very quiet for awhile as there is still a pending investigation into Mr Burr which involves me. But I will be looking at the forum and if I can say something I will.
With - well I suppose love and best wishes
Rob