Independent expert mediator

This section was setup in August 2018 in order to move the existing related discussions from other sections into this new section to group them together, and separate from the other CH-related topics.

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Chris Grady
2nd Former
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2019 11:31 am
Real Name: Chris Grady

Independent expert mediator

Post by Chris Grady »

Christ’s Hospital has at last appointed an Independent expert Mediator to look at how the ‘past could be acknowledged and remembered’. This involves the victims of abuse at CH, their family, friends and colleagues.

You will be aware that a series of discussions and meetings have occurred since Rob first asked questions of CH on 21st December 2017. Following this five of us came together to propose to CH that a fully independent person should oversee the process. The two of us with Adrian Reith & Richard Trenchard as Old Blues and Ken Grimshaw as a former teacher. We are glad, after some 3 years, CH has understood the need for an Independent person to look at these matters and we’re proud that our small group managed to get CH’s agreement to appoint Lia Shimada. She was recommended to us by a world recognised mediator, Pádraig Ó Tuama, and she has considerable expertise in the field of community facilitation. A message from Lia is below, with her contact information.

She is here to listen. She will not reveal to whom she has spoken to anyone, including CH. She has already been in touch with some people. We want to reiterate that whilst Lia has been commissioned by the school, she does feel truly independent and she is very clear on the complexity of the process and the level of confidentiality and trust building that is required. We have met Lia via zoom and Chris has worked with her before.
Rob has written to those people he is in touch with. This post is to ensure that others unknown to us can If they wish, and can find the energy and time, email Lia so that all voices can be heard. From this listening process Lia will then make proposals to the School on the next steps which are needed.

For now, Merry Christmas and a Happy (Covid free) New Year.

Rob Totterdell (Ma A 69–72, Mid A 72–76)
Chris Grady (Ma B 69-72, La A 72-76)

Message from Lia:

Dear all,
I want to assure you that, as a professional mediator, I am working independently and in complete confidence. CH will not be informed of the identities of the people who get in contact with me.

I am beginning with an extensive listening process. My priority is to hear your thoughts and opinions; the course of action will unfold from there. This listening exercise will provide a foundation for thinking about what comes next. Based on the listening, I will create a process that will involve a wide community of participants in co-designing some ways for moving forward.

If you would like to participate, please send me an email at listeningch@gmail.com. I (or my associate, Hilary), will arrange a convenient time to speak to you – either on video call or by phone, depending on your preference.

In our conversation, we will discuss a range of things. I will be particularly interested to hear your thoughts about the following themes:
• Your story and your experience (to the extent that you want to share) and how it could be remembered and acknowledged.
• Your thoughts about meaningful ways the School might move into the future
• Your suggestions for practical steps and actions (Some examples that have emerged already include, for instance, events, education for future generations of students, ideas for involving other people in further listening, a memorial on campus)

Please feel free to be in touch as and when you feel ready. If possible, I would be grateful to hear from you by mid-January, so I can arrange as many conversations as possible in the first few months of the new year.

I look forward to hearing from you and to working with you.

Kindest regards,
Lia Shimada
ASR
2nd Former
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Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2018 12:20 pm
Real Name: Adrian Reith

Re: Independent expert mediator

Post by ASR »

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to underline the value of talking to Lia if you feel you are carrying any baggage to do with abuse at CH.

My story is that I was filmed bathing naked in the Lav End, along with a handful of other 12 & 13 yr olds in BaA, by Roger Martin around 1967/8. (Maybe you too?)

I gave evidence at his trial. He went to jail, but my incident was not the reason he was convicted. Indeed the police said that what he did to me probably wasn’t illegal at the time.

These things are slippery.

At the time I knew what he did was not right, but I kept it to myself for 40 years until the Jimmy Savile case happened, when I realised so many people had a part of the jigsaw, after which I contacted the school.

I got in touch not because I was damaged but because what he did was wrong and in order to put my piece of the puzzle onto the table. I didn’t know he’d done other things but wondered if he had.

Nothing happened for a few years until a much more serious allegation was made against RM by someone else and the police got involved, put the puzzle together, and took it to trial.

My reason for saying this? – The healing power of speaking out loud that which has never been spoken. It relieves the burden. And something changes when you know you are not alone with these thoughts. (And you never know if you have a significant piece of the puzzle until you put it on the table.)

Lastly, it might enable you to re-connect with CH if you’ve found that difficult, but that’s your choice.

The New Year is a good time for these things . . .

All the best.

Adrian Reith
BaA 1966-69 & PeA1969-73
www.AdrianReith.com
RemedyLaw
3rd Former
Posts: 37
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2017 10:19 am
Real Name: Remedy Law
Contact:

Re: Independent expert mediator

Post by RemedyLaw »

Thank you for this information. I am representing a number of individuals who are bringing claims against the School and will pass this information on to them.

Thanks again

Charles @ Remedy Law
adlop
GE (Great Erasmus)
Posts: 135
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2005 11:38 am
Real Name: Adam
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne

Re: Independent expert mediator

Post by adlop »

Just seen this. i know of one victim who feels very let down by the follow up from the school. I don't know if has spoken to Rob but will ask if he is aware and if not point him to this post.
Barnes B / Mid A
robert totterdell
GE (Great Erasmus)
Posts: 139
Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2018 4:58 pm
Real Name: Mr Robert G S Totterdell

Re: Independent expert mediator

Post by robert totterdell »

Thanks for this - if he wants to speak to me then he can contact me at [Email removed as obsolete - please contact via Private Message] or go straight to Lia. Rob
Chris Grady
2nd Former
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2019 11:31 am
Real Name: Chris Grady

Re: Independent expert mediator

Post by Chris Grady »

As you know Robert has been working tirelessly, supported by a number of us, to get CH to begin the process of listening and then find responsible ways of moving forward. We've just checked in with Lia and a number of you have been in touch. She senses that there are more people who need to be listened to, first by Lia, and eventually (in some form) by CH. This is a real opportunity for the Old Blue community to make their feelings known with regards to the abuse that occurred. Lia is fully independent and contributors will remain anonymous. She has extended her planned deadline for getting meetings sorted to allow us to make one more call out. Then she will move forward with whatever she has and shape a response to the School. We are asking that if you have any thoughts, comments or experiences concerning the abuse, to take this opportunity to speak to the independent expert, which may well aid the victims in how they deal with these matters. We know some people have told Robert that they will remain silent, but that does mean that those able and willing to talk with Lia will be even more helpful for her to get a fuller picture.

Just to save reading back, here is Lia's info "If you would like to participate, please send me an email at listeningch@gmail.com. I (or my associate, Hilary), will arrange a convenient time to speak to you – either on video call or by phone, depending on your preference."


Thanks so much for reading this Chris
Peele94
2nd Former
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Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2014 11:12 pm
Real Name: Duncan Forbes

Re: Independent expert mediator

Post by Peele94 »

Thanks Chris for this. I have spoken with Lia, and thought she did a very good job of listening. I'd like to pass on the message to other Old Blues, is there a website link we can refer them to?
sejintenej
Button Grecian
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Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2005 12:19 pm
Real Name: David Brown ColA '52-'61
Location: Essex

Re: Independent expert mediator

Post by sejintenej »

Not sure if the editors would agree to it but would it be possible to get a notice in the monthly email to that regard including Lia's email account?
What happens if a politician drowns in a river? That is pollution.
What happens if all of them drown? That is solution!!!
Chris Grady
2nd Former
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2019 11:31 am
Real Name: Chris Grady

Re: Independent expert mediator

Post by Chris Grady »

My understanding is that Lia is not asking for her email to be put out in a mass general mailing, but rather to be put on this Forum and to be sent by email/letter to everyone who is on the CH database of people who have connected with CH over this in the last few years. I have just been asked a question by Lia on another thing, and so I will pass on the question to her - in case I have got my understanding wrong, or she feels it could be helpful.

Her email remains listeningch@gmail.com. which gets Lia or her associate, Hilary

Cheers Chris
Chris Grady
2nd Former
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2019 11:31 am
Real Name: Chris Grady

Re: Independent expert mediator

Post by Chris Grady »

On Fri (21st Jan) we gathered for a first meeting convened and chaired by the independent mediator Lia Shimada. Representatives of the School staff and Governors met with Old Blues from the 70s 80s and 90s including victims of abuse. This was the first of a planned series of meetings building on the Listening process which Lia has completed. Please bear with us as we explore deeply some ways forward. We will update the Forum after each meeting and share recommendations/decisions when they are made. In this first meeting with Lia we considered a foundation for further and deeper exploration. We made progress; Rob and I will offer an update when more progress has been made in subsequent meetings.
Chris Grady
2nd Former
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2019 11:31 am
Real Name: Chris Grady

Re: Independent expert mediator

Post by Chris Grady »

On Fri 25th March a second gathering convened by Lia Shimada took place in person and online. The focus of this meeting was to shape/plan a recommendation from the listening exercise that several victims identified as a priority. Rob and Lia are liaising with other victims. We will reconvene at the end of April to look at the implementation of some of the other recommendations which came through the January meeting, and will give a fuller report then. Rob and I have found that the first two meetings have been very positive and CH is working constructively and collaboratively in supporting and facilitating our proposals.
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