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Does Being Bullied at School Help to Prepare You for Life?
Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2021 10:19 am
by Spoonbill
.....by introducing you to the concepts of having to take the rough with the smooth and having to share the world with all sorts of arseholes?
Re: Does Being Bullied at School Help to Prepare You for Life?
Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2021 11:05 am
by sejintenej
Spoonbill po) wrote:Thu Jun 17, 2021 10:19 am
.....by introducing you to the concepts of having to take the rough with the smooth and having to share the world with all sorts of arseholes?
how about breeding contempt (examples politicians), thuggery (we can all name a few of those), refusal to accept the "smooth" (unless it is us making it for ourselves), arseholes? certainly not shared, merely deleted from memory
Re: Does Being Bullied at School Help to Prepare You for Life?
Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2021 11:47 am
by Elvie
No doubt the pot will be stirred and perhaps that was the intent, but let’s hope it doesn’t turn ugly!
In my experience some of my contemporaries were subject to horrific bullying. I was often amazed by their resilience to keep going. In later life some have become successful, some have forgiven, and it could be suggested that their life wasn’t altered detrimentally. Others didn’t fare so well.
The preparation for life came as a result of becoming independent and tolerant, not because of some halfwit thug, although to be fair I was luckily not bullied badly.
Seeing what became of some of those bullies in later life was interesting, many had quite a shock once they left the small pond.
Re: Does Being Bullied at School Help to Prepare You for Life?
Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:17 pm
by sejintenej
Elvie wrote: ↑Thu Jun 17, 2021 11:47 am
No doubt the pot will be stirred and perhaps that was the intent, but let’s hope it doesn’t turn ugly!
Nothing new there!
The preparation for life came as a result of becoming independent and tolerant, not because of some halfwit thug, although to be fair I was luckily not bullied badly.
Seeing what became of some of those bullies in later life was interesting, many had quite a shock once they left the small pond.
I was beaten up so badly that I spent some little time recovering in Dr Scott's "hotel".
As for the ring leader absolutely nothing was done in CH and he is now dead following a professorship in a university in (from memory) Auckland. :Pity I didn't know he was there when I visited that city. There were three or more in the gang; my eyes were bruised and closed too soon to identify them. I don't remember the following hours, how I got to the sicker or what treatment I got which, from the training I got from Dr Scott spells concussion.
Re: Does Being Bullied at School Help to Prepare You for Life?
Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2021 8:43 pm
by rockfreak
Spoony, this toughening up business dates back to the days when we had an empire and needed to train little soldiers and administrators to go out to bash the natives around and not feel too bad about it. If one had grown up (I use the term advisedly) in an English boarding school, having been wrenched from the bosom of your loving family and plunged into said boarding school with all the adversities involved, you would emerge a pretty tough, emotionless cookie, ready to suffer all vicissitudes and ready to bash the bolshie and uncivilised natives (as you had been bashed in your early years at school) in the service of Queen and country. Well that was the theory
The boarding school taught you hierarchy - a miserable squit at first but rising to become a lordly Grecian. A sense of entitlement. And a thoroughly nasty and hypocritical belief that you were carrying the white man's burden. A patronising attitude that you were somehow helping others (this survives as far as I know in the outdated, condescending and patronising CH Leavers' Charge, unless it's been dropped).
Bullying doesn't prepare you for life. It screws you up.
Re: Does Being Bullied at School Help to Prepare You for Life?
Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2021 11:13 am
by loringa
rockfreak wrote: ↑Sat Jun 19, 2021 8:43 pm
Spoony, this toughening up business dates back to the days when we had an empire and needed to train little soldiers and administrators to go out to bash the natives around and not feel too bad about it. If one had grown up (I use the term advisedly) in an English boarding school, having been wrenched from the bosom of your loving family and plunged into said boarding school with all the adversities involved, you would emerge a pretty tough, emotionless cookie, ready to suffer all vicissitudes and ready to bash the bolshie and uncivilised natives (as you had been bashed in your early years at school) in the service of Queen and country. Well that was the theory
The boarding school taught you hierarchy - a miserable squit at first but rising to become a lordly Grecian. A sense of entitlement. And a thoroughly nasty and hypocritical belief that you were carrying the white man's burden. A patronising attitude that you were somehow helping others (this survives as far as I know in the outdated, condescending and patronising CH Leavers' Charge, unless it's been dropped).
Bullying doesn't prepare you for life. It screws you up.
Well, I would agree with your final point. As for the rest ...
Re: Does Being Bullied at School Help to Prepare You for Life?
Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2021 12:05 pm
by scrub
Spoonbill wrote: ↑Thu Jun 17, 2021 10:19 am.....by introducing you to the concepts of having to take the rough with the smooth and having to share the world with all sorts of arseholes?
Going to movie theatres in the 80's and 90's taught me that (and also any multiplex in the last decade), so did drinking in Sydney pubs in the 90's and 00's.
Getting bullied gave me a sixth sense for psychos and conditioned me to believe that when someone says "trust me" 90% of the time you're about to be let down/betrayed and experience a lot of unnecessary physical/mental pain.
I will grant you that both scenarios can provide life lessons or "teachable moments" if you prefer to call them that, but I'd also like to think that we'd moved away (even if only by a quantum) from the "making of them" mentality that people use to excuse/tacitly endorse bullying.
There are easier ways to learn the same lessons that leave fewer mental scars.
Re: Does Being Bullied at School Help to Prepare You for Life?
Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2021 4:16 pm
by sejintenej
rockfreak wrote: ↑Sat Jun 19, 2021 8:43 pm
your loving family
What's that?
plunged into said boarding school with all the adversities involved, you would emerge a pretty tough, emotionless cookie, ready to suffer all vicissitudes and ready to bash the bolshie and uncivilised natives (as you had been bashed in your early years at school) in the service of Queen and country. Well that was the theory
the ultimate word is practice
Bullying doesn't prepare you for life. It screws you up.
Tim wrote
Getting bullied gave me a sixth sense for psychos and conditioned me to believe that when someone says "trust me" 90% of the time you're about to be let down/betrayed and experience a lot of unnecessary physical/mental pain.
Tim; should be 100% or more
I see that the program seems to be mucking up quotes - oh for DOS!
Re: Does Being Bullied at School Help to Prepare You for Life?
Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2021 1:40 am
by Pe.A
rockfreak wrote: ↑Sat Jun 19, 2021 8:43 pm
The boarding school taught you hierarchy - a miserable squit at first but rising to become a lordly Grecian.
Just curious. Did you become a lordly Grecian...?
Re: Does Being Bullied at School Help to Prepare You for Life?
Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2021 8:11 pm
by rockfreak
No, I left after the Fifth form. But I saw how some of the lordly Grecians took it all a bit seriously.