Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

All it can take is a change of housemaster and the image of a house can change overnight. Gawd only knows what happens when boys are evacuated and girls are shovelled into the buildings. All I can say is, this was the shape of things in the mid-1970s (i.e. shortly before I was kicked out). How does this sketch compare with your own recollections?

Ba.A. A weird, twilit world inhabited by ghouls.
Ba.B. Sport-obsessed dullards who spent all their free time thumping each other.
Ma.A. Hapless charlies forced by the system into being a race of shiny-shoe-wearing, clean-coated pop-cultural ignoramuses.
Ma.B. Decidedly unexciting (with occasional bursts of vicious bullying).
LH.A. Fairies and boltnecks.
LH.B. Slobs.
.......................

Pe.A. (This house never actually existed.)
Pe.B. Mud-spattered neanderthals.
Th.A. Decidedly unexciting.
Th.B. Loud and moronic.
Md.A. Dear oh dear.
Md.B. Scruffy.
Col.A. Depressingly non-scruffy.
Col.B. A weird, twilit world inhabited by ghouls, fairies and boltnecks.
La.A. A junior house full of seniors with bad attitudes.
La.B. A junior house for Little Lord Fauntleroy seniors with electric guitars.

OK, this one is of my Grecians in 1999...

Peele A: At the other end of the world..
Peele B: Obnoxious, insular
Thorn A: Violent
Thorn B: Irritiating little whatsits...
Mid A: Closed society
Mid B: Friendly
Col A: ditto
Col B - I harldy knew anyone from here

Lamb A: Not a nice place
Lamb B: Unknown
Barnes A: One of my favourite haunts
Barnes B: Very good for walking thruogh to Barnes A
Maine A: The best - I was in it!
Maine B: Quiet with some noisy brats
Hunt A: Some good lookers !
Hunt B: quiet...

Hmmmm....

You want sweeping generalisations? You got 'em. (Like Spoonbill, this is 1970s vintage.)

Ba.A. Night of the Living Dead. (The staff were creeps as well.)
Ba.B. Psychopathic killers with a mental age of 5.
Ma.A. Were only allowed to play classical music on the house record-player, the poor downtrodden sods. High suicide rate as a result.
Ma.B. Friendly oafs.
LH.A. Mostly perverts and subhumans.
LH.B. Socks round their ankles, LPs under their arms, crawling with lice, smelling of gerbils.

Pe.A. Stood empty for almost a century following anthrax experiments by the MoD. I once saw someone go in, but he never came back out again.
Pe.B. If you stepped inside, you'd get whacked on the head with a hockey stick.
Th.A. Corpses who only came to life to take the mick out of their housemaster, a giant chicken. Otherwise very dull.
Th.B. A Special Unit for kids who'd been dropped on their heads by the midwife.
Md.A. Mr Lorimer's Academy for Tiny Infants. (e.g. Joss sticks were banned because Lorimer believed they led to drug abuse.)
Md.B. Almost as obnoxious as Lamb A, but not quite. They thought Elton John was Progressive Rock.
Col.A. Too many button coats by half.
Col.B. Nonces, mainly. Everyone called each other John.
La.A. Most ex-Lamb A kids will have been served with ASBOs by now. No respect for anyone. Definitely not a house to be a fish-out-of-water in.
La.B. Toddlers in romper suits, attempting to pass themselves off as seniors.

As I recall, out of classes, us lot in Coleridge B tended to stick to our own house, with the exception of 'mixing' with quite a few from Middleton B. The other side of the avenue, (Prep end), was considered far too inferior for ther Headmaster House end.