Leave weekends

[Volupturaptor]

As previously mentioned, leave weekends are difficult for some of us.
Now I could have sworn that I'd read somewhere that the school was to begin keeping a boarding house or two open again "due to demand". Now I'm beginning to wonder if I dreamt it, as I can't find mention of it anywhere in any of the letters I have, or on the school website. Anyone else remember seeing/know where to find this info?

Also, if it is possible for my daughter to stay at school over the coming long leave weekend, how on earth would I live with the guilt?
I had such high hopes for this one, but so far I have yet to come up with a viable option and time is running out...

[ailurophile]

Volupturaptor wrote:
As previously mentioned, leave weekends are difficult for some of us.
Now I could have sworn that I'd read somewhere that the school was to begin keeping a boarding house or two open again "due to demand". Now I'm beginning to wonder if I dreamt it, as I can't find mention of it anywhere in any of the letters I have, or on the school website. Anyone else remember seeing/know where to find this info?

Also, if it is possible for my daughter to stay at school over the coming long leave weekend, how on earth would I live with the guilt?
I had such high hopes for this one, but so far I have yet to come up with a viable option and time is running out...

Hi Volupturaptor

Have you checked the school calendar? I think there is usually an indication of which House will be open on leave weekends, although I'm not sure how you'd go about 'booking in' your child; I'm sure your DDs houseparent will be able to advise.

I do sympathise with your difficulties, but try not to feel guilty - I'm sure your DD will understand. I imagine that the extra-long leave weekend might present a problem for quite a few families; although another day with your children is always welcome, this could be a headache if you need to work. We're lucky that our DS can get himself home on the train and is old enough to be left to his own devices next Friday. TBH I'm rather surprised that CH have decided to introduce an INSET day in term time, I didn't think independent schools had these!

[Atticus]

Hi Volupturaptor,

you did read it - was it in the letter that we got at Christmas ( sorry, I dont have it to hand). There is a boys, and a girls house open at leave weekends. Have you rung the school office, or spoken to your house parent for the contact details. I'm sure that they could also tell you what the young people would do over the weekend.

Is there no one taking their children home in your direction, even if it's a large part of the way, especially as they finish on Thursday?

Good luck with sorting it out x

[Volupturaptor]

Apparently I've left it too late, and even if she did stay, she'd be the only girl in the whole school to do so.
Oh well...

[pinkhebe]

Is there a friend of hers she can stay with? I know I'd be happy to have any of my son's friends to stay. I try to fill my house with children at any opportunity since I 'lost' one to CH!

[Mrs C.]

It`s quite correct that provisions are made for any pupil who, for whatever reason, can`t get away at Leave Weekend
In recent years it has been unusual for anyone to stay , but with international students it may not now be the case.
Many pupils who can`t get home are invited to homes of friends or go to stay with other relatives.
In the case of just one pupil having to stay in school, it has been known for houseparents to take them into their own home.

[Volupturaptor]

Apparently I've left it too late, and even if she did stay, she'd be the only girl in the whole school to do so.
Oh well...

It was the house mistress who told me this.

It's all sorted now anyway, she's going to stay with a friend, which everyone seems to be happy with.

The thing is, maybe it gets easier as they go through the school and everyone knows each other and their situations better, but when it's still all so new, how on earth do you know who to approach?
If for example I was asked, the only way I could sleep another child would be if they either shared my daughter's single bed, or if we used a camp bed (narrow, impossible to put a sheet on it, only really suitable for use with a sleeping bag) which would take up ALL the floor space in her room, rendering cupboards and drawers unopenable. Doable, but far from ideal. Not the best way to make a child feel welcome I feel. So whichever way I went, I'd either feel rotten for saying no, or rather embarassed about the sleeping arrangements.

As it happens, a girl my daughter shares a room with had been going to have another girl stay with her, but the other girl then couldn't go, meaning she was free to invite my daughter instead. Otherwise, I still wouldn't know what to do.

[ailurophile]

I'm so glad to hear you’ve managed to sort something out Volupturaptor; I’m sure your DD will have a lovely weekend with her friend, and then it’s only two weeks until you’ll have her home again for the nice long Easter holiday!

You’re right to flag up this problem though. CH parents have very few opportunities to get to know each other, especially in the early days, and there are sensitive issues involved in approaching a virtual stranger and asking them to take responsibility for your child. I’m pleased to see Mrs C’s confirmation that the school does have a strategy in place to accommodate children who simply can’t get home or stay with friends over a leave weekend; obviously no family would want to find themselves in this situation, but it must happen from time to time… I do wonder if your house mistress could have been just a little more supportive and helpful when you were clearly at your wits end!

[Volupturaptor]

I was a little surprised to find that a week in advance, it was too late. What about last minute emergencies..?

Anyway, it's not a problem, this time.

[fra828]

Bring back Long Sats of Hertford past or halfterms as in other schools. Going home 3 weekly must be such an expense for those parents who don't live within about 30 miles of the school, not to mentioned how very unsettling it must be for the pupils to go to and fro so frequently, plus the guilt for those parents who have to leave their kids at school because of distance etc. Either board on a weekly/termly basis or not at all!

[lippizaner]

Yes, I think I tend to agree on that! I am at present trying to organise the next year (his first) with his big brothers and sisters as regards picking up and taking to and from Portsmouth ferryport! Not an easy task, involving charts! He would be most miffed after all his effort if he had to stay in school over a leave weekend!

[YadaYada]

I'm sure many students would be fine not to have Leave Weekends but think of us parents.....I for one couldn't go for 6 weeks without seeing DS!!!

Leave Weekends are for us - not them!!!

[Volupturaptor]

Well I'm afraid that although it is nice to see my daughter, the stress of getting there and back, plus the stress of knowing how much it is costing, far outweighs the benefit of seeing her. Sad but true.

[YadaYada]

I am really sorry that LWs are so stressful for you, Volupturaptor. I also live many miles from the school (3 hours in the car) and I agree it is an expense which has now become part of my regular monthly budget. Fortunately my Dad lives much nearer the school and we are able to take our LWs there and so don't need to do the round trip.

We also share travel when we can with another local-ish family (hello, SAS! if you are reading this). This helps us both with petrol costs.
Perhaps you could ask the school if there is another family that is roughly in your neck of the woods so you could share transport and costs from time to time?

However, LWs aren't new and I certainly knew they would be in the equation when we applied so I had to factor in the cost and the travelling plus work out how DS was going to get picked up at 2.15 on a Friday when I don't finish work until 3pm, 150 miles away.

Hopefully the weekend with the friend will work out and be something that can be repeated allowing you to at least enjoy one LW at term.

[MW224]

We would not have considered CH if our DS would only come home for half terms / holidays. The leave weekends are a wonderful opportunity for our DS to not only see us and his siblings, but also his friends and extended family. He can have a bit of time all by himself, which ofcourse our children rarely get.He can sulk, 'let rip' fully be himself for a bit. Haircuts, new clothes, eyetests etc etc are all carefully planned and packed into these weekends. I understand it's tough for some families but personally I d travel the earth to come and get him every 3 weeks.His 2 little brothers have a calendar counting the days till he comes home, it's nothing but pure joy for all of us.