Childbirth, enter at your peril.

[Mid A 15]

When my first daughter was born my wife was told she shouldn't eat so went a day without food. My daughter appeared at nine minutes past eleven (p.m) and the hospital then kindly made some corn beef sandwiches and biscuits for my wife.

For some unknown reason she decided she was too tired to eat them so I had the task.

Tough I know but someone had to do it

[cj]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm never going to have kids, you guys have scared me far too much!!!!

*runs and hides in a corner*

It's character building, like seven years at CH!! As for being told not to eat, you need plenty of energy to get the damn thing out. Imagine not eating and having to run around on a rugby field for anything over 12 hours? I was forcefed bananas, jam, sugar and lucozade to get me through 15 hours (which is nothing for a first birth). Of course, with all that liquid inside me, and baby lying on the necessary tubes, I couldn't go to the loo. I was so swollen by the time we got to hospital I had to be catheterised (cue more crossed legs, hee, hee!!). And then there's the other 'waste products' to deal with ...

[BTaylor]

Hmmm... I won't be showing this thread to my wife. Our first is due on the 3rd June and she's already panicking about the pain!

However, if the baby is three days late it'll hurt even more, as it emerges with little horns and a pitchfork in hand...

[Euterpe13]

To be honest, it's not always a horror story... I have a friend with 3 children who never managed to get to the maternity, her labour was so fast - first one was born in an ambulance, second in a taxi. and the third her husband didn't even bother - he just called the midwife and had her come round.... she , of course, will tell you that having kids is easier than going to the dentist !

[englishangel]

To be honest, it's not always a horror story... I have a friend with 3 children who never managed to get to the maternity, her labour was so fast - first one was born in an ambulance, second in a taxi. and the third her husband didn't even bother - he just called the midwife and had her come round.... she , of course, will tell you that having kids is easier than going to the dentist !

My second delivery was really easy, the first wasn't hard, just long because the baby's head wasn't quite at the correct angle. I am sure if I had been able to get up and move about it would have been much quicker.

From the other end of the bed (as it were) there is much more that can be done today than even 10 years ago.

As for the epidural thing, I don't think one of 'my' Mums has ever had an unnecessary epidural.

[Vonny]

Second time is supposed to be easier, isn't it ....?

Quicker but just as bl**dy painful

Epidurals? The combined sort (there were 2 a while ago) mean that you feel nothing from waist down but still have the use of your legs to potter about, make tea, have a conversation without clenching teeth. That sort of thing. Its having your cake and eating it, unless something goes awry.
It's the sight of the needle they use that knocks you out.

The epidural I had made me numb from the waist down - I had the cathetar thing for when I needed a wee as well My leg kept slipping off the bed so I had to get whoever was around to push it back up again Horrrible "feeling" not being able to feel or move your legs. The thing that made me laugh (in a funny kind of way) was after the birth when the midwife told me to get up and have a shower I couldn't even feeel my legs let alone walk on them

As for the needle - whatever the size it was preferable to labour pains!

[cj]

Hmmm... I won't be showing this thread to my wife. Our first is due on the 3rd June and she's already panicking about the pain!

However, if the baby is three days late it'll hurt even more, as it emerges with little horns and a pitchfork in hand...

By the end of nine months of pregnancy you'll both be ready for it! She won't notice how long it is, because while you're in it you're just focussed on doing what you have to do, and you know that there is an end to it all. It's like a bad period pain that comes and goes. Just practice the breathing with her because that's really important (don't hold your breath during a contraction, thinking it'll make the pain go away!) and gas and air is great. Standing up and walking around helps too, rather than being confined to bed. I did a lot of singing during labour which annoyed everyone else, but I found it helpful. And the end result is just amazing! It is beyond a doubt the best thing I have ever done and you will share so much joy being a parent.

[Euterpe13]

Epidurals - well, probably great, but I didn't get one for the first because a) they were usually reserved in those days for breech, and b) there wasn't an anaethetist available anyway ...

Walking around - since on both occasions I lost the waters before I even got to the maternity, there was no question of mobility -anyway, for Laura they had a monitor strap round my lump and an electrode in her skull , so movement was out of the question ! I did ask for a birthing stool ( nature intended us to work WITH gravity, not against it) , but just got a dirty look - however, I did use vocal techniques during the last stages : same thing as the "han" of the log-cutter or the grunts of tennis players - it really does help, as it evacuates muscle tension !
My poor intern started to look very worried at one point - I had to reassure him that it wasn't nearly as bad as it sounded.... best thing was when Laura was half out and HE yelled " stop pushing" ( are you kidding?) - the cord was round her neck and strangling her ...
I think he was far more worried than I was.

Gas & air is not available in France - you are lectured that " anything you have , baby has too..." and expected to look suitably ashamed that you even thought to ask !

" a bad period pain" .... yeah, right , that what I was told too for the first one - if I ever find that midwife again, I will break her legs !

[englishangel]

Epidurals - well, probably great, but I didn't get one for the first because a) they were usually reserved in those days for breech, and b) there wasn't an anaethetist available anyway ...

Walking around - since on both occasions I lost the waters before I even got to the maternity, there was no question of mobility -anyway, for Laura they had a monitor strap round my lump and an electrode in her skull , so movement was out of the question ! I did ask for a birthing stool ( nature intended us to work WITH gravity, not against it) , but just got a dirty look - however, I did use vocal techniques during the last stages : same thing as the "han" of the log-cutter or the grunts of tennis players - it really does help, as it evacuates muscle tension !
My poor intern started to look very worried at one point - I had to reassure him that it wasn't nearly as bad as it sounded.... best thing was when Laura was half out and HE yelled " stop pushing" ( are you kidding?) - the cord was round her neck and strangling her ...
I think he was far more worried than I was.

Gas & air is not available in France - you are lectured that " anything you have , baby has too..." and expected to look suitably ashamed that you even thought to ask !

" a bad period pain" .... yeah, right , that what I was told too for the first one - if I ever find that midwife again, I will break her legs !

I don't know what France is like now but that was where water births were pioneeered.

Absolutely right about the birthing stool.

And something that drives me mad

:biggun:

It is NOT gas and air it is gas and OXYGEN (it has been for over 30 years- in UK anyway) which means Mum and baby get 50% Oxygen as opposed to 28% in air, and nitrous oxide is out of the system in under 5 minutes. I know you are not likely to have another one B but for future reference.

[Vonny]

It is NOT gas and air it is gas and OXYGEN

When I had gas & air (sorry, OXYGEN) the first time round I was sick so had to stop using it. That time I had the full mask thing. 2nd time round I had it via the mouth piece and loved it - so much so that I used one whole cylinder and the majority of the next one Blooming midwife though, talking about me as if I wasn't there I could hear her saying "She's doesn't need that " I bl**dy well did & ended up wrestling it from her when she trid to take it away

[cj]

It was the highlight of my night! I used up the whole quota for mid-Devon and had my acupuncturist's husband and the other midwives on duty running around county to get more. I think I emptied about 6 or 7 canisters. And the stuff in the ambulance was even better - it seemed to be much stronger.

[Vonny]

I think I emptied about 6 or 7 canisters.

I thought i did well!

[cj]

I think I emptied about 6 or 7 canisters.

I thought i did well!

It's the singing training. You are taught to breathe properly and fill your lungs to their capacity.

[hoob]

My wife could probably be slightly smug and report 23 minutes for number one daughter (didn't get there in time), and 18 minutes for number two (but did get there)....

Mind you the complications that caused the speed are not something to be wished on anyone - we're not having any more.....

Regarding the pain - all I can say is that I've never seen the end of my fingers go that colour before.

Gas and Oxygen - the only other time that that my legs have gone off on their own like that is after too many tequila's.

And I'm definiteily not showing my wife this either...

[hoob]

At great risk to my personal safety

Childbirth v Manflu?